Success is...

A couple of weeks ago, I went camping by myself to have some time to reflect over the priorities in my life. Although no life-altering epiphanies occured, I did manage to map out the coming months. One committment that I have made is to write regular articles for the university newspaper, The Link.

As you are aware, I love to write and what better way to access more readers than through a free newspaper. So everything that I write for The Link, whether they accept the articles or not, will be posted here.

My first one was accepted... yippee! Here it is.





Welcome back to school, kids. If this is your first semester, then I hope Concordia turns out to be everything that you had expected. If this is your last semester, then I hope it passes with minimal stress, and that you smoothly transition onto whatever awaits you next.

No matter who you are, chances are that you are here at university to prepare yourself for some sort of career or place within the “real world”. Is that not what post-secondary school is all about, to groom us into intellects and capable businessmen, nurses, and scientists? Within the walls of this institution we shall be taught to be “successful” human beings.

But what is success anyway?

For some of us, it will include achieving good grades and graduating at the top of our classes. For others it will be making new friends, balancing a 40-hour workweek with classes, or managing to not vomit after shot-gunning that ninth beer during orientation week. Whatever success is, it will be surely measured in a truly personal way.

Despite previous post-secondary experiences, when I started at Concordia last year, I have to admit that I was somewhat nervous. I received many invitations from the Student Success Center to partake in pre-semester tours, First-Year student seminars, and the “College Student Inventory™” (or CSI for short). It became evident that the folks at the Student Success Center really wanted me to succeed.

I went ahead and did the CSI, half out of a desire to “succeed” and half out of a fear that if I skipped out, then fucked up at school, I would have only myself to blame. Upon completion, I was taken into a small, windowless room with a handful of seemingly delinquent Dawson College kids and advised to prepare myself for the hardships of university. I was in the big leagues now.




Interestingly, one of the recommendations from the CSI was to “Discuss attitude towards school with counselor”. I found this fascinating. According to my CSI results, I had supposed doubts about the value of a post-secondary education. They were absolutely right; the CSI had interrogated me, and I was guilty of a mild case of university apathy.

For myself, the idea of being a “successful” person was not linked to whether or not I completed university. Now don’t get me wrong, I am still here at school, writing papers and buying textbooks. I am investing in a university education because on some level I believe that it will be beneficial to my personal evolution. I also acknowledge that higher grades tend to equate further opportunity down the road. But there are many paths to personal success, and I think it is important to acknowledge that school is a valid choice, but not the only choice.

Ironically, as university has taught me to think critically, I have used these skills to be objective in regards to the very hand that feeds me. So if I could be so audacious as to pass on some unsolicited advice to you, it would be to think about success outside of the classroom. As you rack up the credits, pass countless hours researching in the library, and frantically cram for exams, try to keep a certain perspective. Try to remember that success could simply be the ability to step back and realize one’s worth regardless of the certificates, degrees, or doctorates that we receive at university.

Scheduled Enlightenment

Summertime... and the music is playing

So I spent the weekend in a tent out at Mont Orford (QC) where I got to climb a mountain, sit on beach, read a book, and think about the upcoming projects in my life. It was also an urgent attempt to appreciate the last offerings of summer before I am shackled to the textbooks of post-secondary education and the winter cold keeps me captive in my own home.

(ahem...) Sorry, I'm having a hard time letting go of the summer.

I am actually excited to about the refreshing coolness in the air, the desire to start cooking hearty fall dinners, and pulling out the big duvet from the closet and snuggling up. Fall is definitely my season.

But summer has been lovely and I've been privileged to do many a great thing.

So in honour of summer and the good times, I compiled a mix of some of the tunes that were my soundtrack for the past 4 months. I thought I'd make a bit of a (illegal) game of it and burn a few copies to give to those who wanted a fun little mix CD. Don't hate me for pirating music... hopefully it will inspire you to go and support the artists that you love.




MIX06

Be (Common)
Inside and Out (Feist)
I Don't Know What I Can Save You From (Kings Of Convenience)
Superstition (Stevie Wonder)
Neutroniks (k-os)
Keep on Movin' (?)
I'm So Excited (Le Tigre)
Lovers In The Backseat (Scissor Sisters)
Daybreaker (Beth Orton)
Rooftop Campers (Freeworm)
I Want You Back (The Jackson 5 )
Crazy (Gnarls Barkley)
Take The Long Way (Po' Girl)


So here's the deal... I will send a copy to the first five folks to leave a comment and tell me what your favourite part of the summer was. The beach? The martinis? A summer romance? Your brazilian wax?

Lookin' forward to hearing some of your stories...

happy harvesting :)

Links, Resources, and Images

I have recieved a couple of emails asking if it would be okay to share this blog with other people. My answer is ABSOLUTELY... the more people that read "The Little Spruce Tree", the happier I am. This is a space where I share my public thoughts and I encourage people to comment and dialogue on the subjects that I write about.

So please, forward friends and family the address to the blog, or add me as a link to your blog, or create a stylish publicity campaign to target all internet users on a global level. Your choice.

* * *

So I've made it back to Montreal after a busy week in Toronto. There are still many thoughts circling around in my head about where to go from here, how I can have the biggest impact in the work that I do, who I would like to work with, and what I can be doing now to create opportunities in the future. It is important stuff.

Today however, I will not bore you with the details :) Instead, I wanted to post some resources, links, and images that could help to get the wheels turning in your brain and for us all to access information.



WEBSITES:


www.unaids.org

The United Nations: A great source for educating oneself on the global state of the pandemic, with information on how AIDS affects women, drug users, and young people.


www.cdnaids.ca

Canadian AIDS Society: A coalition of over 125 community-based AIDS service organizations across Canada. Also provides links to each organization, so it would be possible to gain information about what is going on in your community. The Walk for Life is on September 17th… who will you be marching with? Find out here!


www.actoronto.org

AIDS Committee of Toronto: Need a place to start? This is a good website to educate yourself on HIV/AIDS transmission, safer sex information, HIV/AIDS Statistics, and Women’s resources.


* * *

LECTURES:

I wanted to let people know that many of the lectures that were given at the Toronto AIDS conference are available as free podcasts on iTunes. Go to the ‘Music Store’, then podcasts, and search AIDS 2006. If you need some direction on where to start, let me know.

If you are without an MP3 player or iPod, then you can click here to access online streaming-audio access to the lectures at the conference, include speeches by Bill Gates, Bill Clinton, Stephen Lewis, and others. (http://www.kaisernetwork.org/aids2006/index.cfm).


* * *

EMAIL:

Let me also give you the email where you can contact the Prime Minister himself.

pm@pm.gc.ca or Harper.S@parl.gc.ca

I wrote Stevie a quick note yesterday asking for continued and reliable funding for the Global AIDS relief fund, as well as encouraging him to renew the licence for the Vancouver Safe injection site. I also invited him to join me at the "Walk For Life" on September 17th, it is a fundraiser for HIV/AIDS where people get pledged to walk. I'll keep you posted if I hear anything :)

Feel free to send an email and express your concerns… it is my belief that if people are vocal, then governments respond.


* * *

IMAGES:

Finally, I'd like to leave with some prevention campaign images that I have seen at the conference and on the internet. Please comment if you have any specific reactions or thoughts to what you see... what do you think works? what doesn't?

Friday's Report (Toronto AIDS Conference)

And so it ends.

As mentioned yesterday, the conference wrapped up today with more speeches and summaries about what we have done over the past 5 days, and where we are headed. The highlight of the day, as to be expected, was listening to the charismatic and poignant words of Stephen Lewis (see Wednesday’s Report for more). He was rewarded with a standing ovation and an applause that lasted for five minutes. Also included in the ceremonies were a couple of short films, musical performances, and the ‘handing of the reins’ to Mexico City, who will play host in 2008. It was with mixed emotions that I left the conference center, and re-entered the world- a world where I am unforunately not constantly marinated in motivation and hope.

Because of this, I am already thinking of the logistics of getting myself to Mexico City in 2008.

One of the most thematic sentiments that has been expressed over the past few days is that HIV/AIDS is not just a health issue: it is an issue of gender inequity, of homophobia, of poverty, of human rights, of inadequate policy making, of racism. Those who are marginalized and stigmatized by society are statistically more vulnerable to the pandemic: sex workers, men who have sex with men, drug users, transgendered folk, and indigenous peoples.

There are interventions and preventions that proven to reduce the transmission of HIV. We need to support safe-injection sites for drug users. We need to use condoms when engaging in high-risk sexual activities, and continue to make them accessible to youth. We need to individually reflect upon the ways that we perpetuate gender inequalities and racism through the language we use, the politicians we elect, and the assumptions that we make. We need to decriminalize sex workers and provide them with access to health care and sexual health education.

We need to engage ALL populations in the process of policy making. The solutions are not going to come from privileged white males sitting around a conference table at a G-8 Summit meeting. We need to include HIV positive peoples in decision making… because people living with HIV are NOT the problem; they are the key to the solution.

We need action. We need to be given tangible directions and leadership. Let me help to get you started… here’s what you can do:

Write letters. Make your voice be heard. Volunteer. Challenge yourself to think about the ways that you perpetuate inequality. Give money. Educate yourself. VOTE! (and hold your politicians accountable for their promises… they serve to answer to us). Go to a Vigil. Read this blog. Ask questions. Support nurses and caregivers. Let yourself feel the injustice of HIV/AIDS- it can serve to fuel us. Have hope.

These are all proactive steps that can start today.

HIV/AIDS is completely preventable, yet the price of inaction is death. We are standing at the breaking point where the pandemic could go down in history as the greatest tragedy in human history. Or it could be remembered as the place in time where we pulled together to find solutions, where we learned the depths of our generousity, and where we realized that human life is the most precious commodity that we have.

* * *

Thank you for being a part of my week. I acknowledge, again, how truly blessed I am to have been a part of this experience, and I am fully willing to share it with you in whatever capacity I possibly can. It is because I have such wonderful people in my life that I am able to explore and challenge and reflect and give. I am here because of you.

Lots of love,

Daniel

Thursday's Report (Toronto AIDS Conference)

I have just returned from the Vigil that was held to honour, remember, and celebrate the lives of those who have died. I am reminded of the sorrowful legacy that AIDS has created; I am reminded of the reality of the pandemic.

For the past four days I have been engaged in dialogue of prevention and human rights and sexuality and gender inequity, and as such it has been easy to not be effected by the grief, bereavement, and loss that is undeniably a part involved with AIDS support and caregiving. Tonight I am feeling it. Tonight I let the tears fall because I need a way to express my anger and sorrow. Anger that this is preventable, sorrow that it continues.

Let me not fool myself on human realities.

* * *

Today, I experienced the most resonating speech of the conference thus far. The words came from the mouth of a 21 year-old Jamaican girl who spoke on behalf of the youth contingent of the conference. At an early age she attended to her father who died of AIDS-related illnesses; this motivated her to start the first youth group in Jamaica to respond to the AIDS epidemic. This is an inspiring example of transforming devastation in creation; of taking the worst that life can give a person, and turning it into something that heals.

I am humbled and motivated by individuals like this. She spoke to a crowd of 5000 scientist, community workers, and activists with the wisdom and strength of a person far beyond her years, asking for the world to listen to the specific needs of youth. She had strong leadership skills… right now the world needs strong leaders.

So tomorrow is the last day of the AIDS conference and the closing ceremonies, with summaries, key-note addresses, and presentations to be made. It is coming at an appropriate time for myself, as I am growing weary, both cognitively and emotionally. It has been an intense five days thus far, and I will need some time to go through all the information that I have received and to reflect over how I can transfer the momentum of this experience forward. My participation in this conference has been a gift from the donors and supporters of the Canadian Scholarship Programme, and I would like to honour their generousity by paying forward with refreshed motivation and new knowledge.

My gratitude to those who give.


* * *

(The following is something I wrote a couple months ago. It is a reflection on not wanting to become de-sensitized to the harsher realities in which exist in my neighborhood, my country, my world. I think much of my human process has been fighting to keep myself sensitive, on keeping myself open. In light of the vigil and to honour the caregivers who have experienced the most painful part of the pandemic, I thought that today would be an appropriate time to share it…)



un-affect-able

life in the city
can be dehumanizing
the only way I survive
is to go inside my head

I don’t want to be come un-affect-able
I don’t want to become hard

I had fantasies of grandeur
of reconnection
of liberation

(but why?)

because when I step outside it is evident
I am not hard
but bend with warmth and time

and any fantasies in my head
are actualized
only when I realize
that life also gives moments of humanity.

Wednesday's Report (Toronto AIDS Conference)

Stumbled out of bed late this morning after missing my alarm clock, then rushed to catch the subway, grab a refined-sugar breakfast (coffee and cinnamon bun), and make it to the Plenary Session… which I have to admit made me feel completely intellectually inferior. There was much pharmaceutical research-based talk of medicine and biology, and the social scientist in me was longing for some Human Rights or psychosocial based dialogue.

But, the flip side is that I am motivated to educate myself on the scientific/biological side of the pandemic. My work and interested has been focused around healing the spirit, but keeping the physical body alive is equally as important.

Why is so vital to keep people alive?

It seems like such a bizarre question to pose, but I think it is fascinating to explore. As a collective group of human beings we are far to numerous and we are doing far too much damage to sustain the rate that we are consuming and disposing. Some would argue that AIDS is nature’s way of controlling the population, a Darwinian reality of “survival of the fittest”, or even a punishment for those who are engaging in “immoral” behaviour.

I argue, however, that we as a species (with a conscience) will have failed if we do not care for each other in our time of immobility, poverty, and exhaustion. We will be able to hold our heads high in the future, if we can look back and be proud of our past. There is space for mistakes along the way, and these mistakes will teach us invaluable lessons, but I can guarantee that acting with compassion and empathy will lead to a future of wisdom, community, and pride. The most valuable commodity, in my option, is human life; we must fight to keep mothers alive to raise their children.

Today I am feeling especially inspired from listening to the wisdom of Dr. Stephen Lewis, he spoke tonight down at the Harbour Front. Dr. Lewis is a diplomat, humanitarian, and authour (“Race Against Time”) who is not afraid to speak of the gap between political vision and actual human realities. He is a powerful ally in the empowerment of woman and fights for funding for orphans who have lost their parents to AIDS. Listening to him speak is like a little bit of dark chocolate for my soul.

On a lighter note…

I have been doing a lot of filming while at the conference and have a little pipe-dream of making a short, 15-minute documentary about what I am experiencing in the Global Village, in my sessions, and in the halls. Hopefully I will get the opportunity to sit down and sort through the footage and do some editing… if it happens, then I would love the opportunity to share it with you!

Kisses!



More buzz words/concepts:

ARV’s – this is an acronym for Anti-RetroViral treatments. These are essentially the drugs that are needed to suppress the HIV within a person’s blood stream. Huge progress has been made in the past ten years in regards to allowing people to live with HIV… drug regiments used to include 17 pills per day, now the norm is 3 pills.

“3 by 5” – this is a goal that was set to have 3 million people in sub-saharan Africa on life saving anti-retroviral drugs by the year 2005. Unfortunately this goal was not met, but 1.6 million people currently have access to ARV treatment. To put this in context, there are 25 million people in Africa with HIV/AIDS.

Universal Access – the ultimate ideal in regards to enabling each human being access to drug therapies. The goal is to have universal access to medication by the year 2010. It is absolutely ludicrous in my mind to know that medication exists, but it will take another half decade before people can access it (drugs have patents, international policy blocks access, people move alarmingly slow sometimes).

Tuesday's Report (Toronto AIDS Conference)

Day Two at the conference was equally as busy as Day One, but I was a bit more rested and had the stamina to be a bit more present for longer. Which is great because there is so much to do, so many ways to get my brain stimulated.

I started out with learning more about Microbicides! Hurray for giving women tools to protect themselves! So this lead to many thoughts about the ways that prevention of HIV can be delivered. I have to admit that I have been very centered on the idea that prevention should be based around promoting behavioural changes. For example, if an individual was having unprotected sex, then the behavioural change campaign targeting this person would often promote using condoms. However, this is based upon his/her partner’s compliance to do so.

Prevention in the form of a microbicide or vaccine could protect those who do not have the liberty to change their behaviour, such as sex workers (due to illiteracy, poverty, isolation, etc). Protecting sex workers is a vital form of preventing the spread of viruses and infections.

Another buzz around prevention is in regards to male circumcision. There has been a lower prevalence of infection rates amoungst men who have been circumcised. This lends itself to the physiology of foreskin, and its ability to provide an environment for the virus to survive for longer periods, thus making it more likely to enter the body.

However, I am concerned about the concept of circumcision as prevention. Circumcision is a form of body modification, and this decision should be left in the hands of the individual. I hesitate at the idea of widely promoting circumcision of newborns, because on a broad level it is a human rights violation.

There’s some food for thought.

In other news, I made a new friend today. He is a Buddhist monk from Laos, and he flew half way around the world to come to this conference for a week. I was sitting outside, taking a few moments to myself, and watching the clouds float by the CN tower (which was directly above me), when three monks walked by in their religious orange robes. I asked one of the monks if I could interview him on camera, and we got to talking about our experiences in HIV/AIDS work. His name was Somchit Phomthavong and he gave me his email so that we could keep in touch. Perhaps I will go to Laos for a visit.

Other highlights of the day include having lunch and circumcision conversation with my Step-mom (who will be leading an aboriginal-based talking circle tomorrow), protesting the claims made by “Globe & Mail” journalist Margaret Wente in today’s Editorial section (hugely problematic comments about gay men and immigrants), and watching sex workers perform in the Global Village (a performance called “Star Whores”… I hope it will become a trilogy).

Thanks for tuning in, it is great to come home after a long day and process all the information that I have been exposed to… this a great venue to do that and I am extremely happy if you are reading along.

Be well.

Monday's Report (Toronto AIDS Conference)

It’s Monday night and I’m enjoying some dark chocolate as I gather my thoughts and occasionally peer from my 14th floor dorm room. I can hear a gentle hum of 4 million people living their lives; I can see the TV’s illuminating the darkness of a hundred lonely apartments. Perhaps others can see me staring into this computer screen; perhaps they think I am lonely as well.

I am feeling incredibly NOT alone at the moment. By participating in this conference (on HIV/AIDS) I am surrounded by 30,000 people who have come from all corners of the world. This morning I was up at 6:30 am to head to the Women’s Rally & March when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I sleepily turned to see a woman from Nigeria asking me if I was heading to the rally as well. We walked and talked about our experience, involvement, and hopes in regards the HIV/AIDS field. I am finding myself immediately unified with people regardless of age, nationality, or HIV status.

It is also hard to feel alone when Barry White is singing “Stand By Me” to me… well myself and a couple thousand of my new friends. That’s right, the big, beautiful baritone himself kicked off the musical acts of last night’s Opening Ceremonies after a series of speeches by the Ontario Premier, the Mayor of Toronto, Bill & Melinda Gates, Alicia Keys, and Richard Gere (okay, now I’m just shamelessly name dropping). But it was a good party, so I have to gloat a bit… also on stage was Amanda Marshall, Blue Man Group, Chantal Kreviazuk, and Our Lady Peace. Okay, Okay… the name dropping is over.

I am sad to say that I cannot drop the name of our Prime Minister who apparently had more important things to do than address those committed souls who lead the way in solving the greatest health threat the world has ever know. You might have sensed some bitterness in this previous sentence. Personally, I find it embarrassing that we are hosting such a massive event and the Prime Minister does not have the conviction to attend. The Canadian delegates have made it clear that they are not happy about this; there have been consistently negative reactions whenever Mr. Harper’s name is distastefully ejected from the lips of speakers and social advocates.

So I had a big day today with rallies, forums, and wandering through booths that international organizations have set up. I am trying to pace myself though, because it would be easy to try to take in too much and burn out quickly. I am incredibly lucky to be here; I have pledged to make the most of it.

Goodnight Toronto, peaceful dreams.




Some buzz words/concepts that are immerging:

Stigmatization: refers to harsh disapproval of a behaviour or identity category that goes against a cultural norm or is perceived as deviant; stigma is linked to marginalization and ostricization. In the context of HIV/AIDS it is important to consider the realities that populations, who are vulnerable to the disease, are faced with. For example, if a sex worker is rejected by society how will this affect his/her abilities to make healthier sexual choices?

Microbicides: cutting edge preventative treatment for woman. A microbicide is a gel that a woman can insert in her vagina to kill foreign bacteria and viruses, including the HIV virus. Most microbicides are in the clinical testing stages, but many researchers and community workers believe that this is the future of HIV prevention. (I hope to make it to a lecture regarding this subject, as it is new information for myself).

Indivisibililty: a matrix approach to the concept of Human Rights, stating that it is impossible to separate the holistic reality of human rights… in regards to health, gender, religious, emotional, sexual rights, etc. Thos who are living with HIV have a right to be sexual.

ABC Model of Prevention:

Abstinence

Be Faithful

Condoms (use them)

This is the brainchild of the Bush Administration and is receiving much criticism from delegates (and rightfully so, in my option). Prevention models that stress abstinence are problematic in the fact that they ignore the innate human tendency to have sex. We like sex. We are going to have sex. Sex is not evil. Let’s be a bit more progressive with our prevention techniques.

En Route to Education... The XVI International AIDS Conference

I am currently on a train somewhere south of Kingston, en route to the Toronto International AIDS Conference. I am about to embark upon a week of workshops, protests, dialogues, and network building- all in regards to the global pandemic of HIV/AIDS. It is a professional and intellectual forum to the likes of which I have never engaged. I am both nervous and excited.

To give a little background information, my involvement in HIV/AIDS community work began three years ago when I moved to Montreal. I had known that I wanted to be involved with a movement to curtail the transmission of this virus; yet I was unsure where to begin. How does one just become a part of a movement? The answer was in the proverbial saying:

Think Globally. Act Locally.

So I found a community organization where I could volunteer my time (AIDS Community Care Montreal). I received training in support services: active listening, harm reduction, and managing depression. Throughout the following years, I spent time at the ACCM Drop-In Center, as well as volunteering one-on-one with clients who requested social support. I have had some very formative experiences and have been connected to a community of prevention and support; including meeting people who have become amazing friends.

Yet, it is easy for me to feel powerless in this “battle” of global proportions. The David and Goliath analogy would be sadly understating the massive beast that I would love to slay. But thankfully it’s not just me throwing stones at AIDS; there is a global community of affected and inspired leaders who have been fighting for the past two decades.

It is the silver lining- AIDS connects people.

This week I will have the privilege of listening to these leaders, asking them questions, and learning about their losses and triumphs. It is my hope that, throughout the coming years, I can help carry forward the momentum in which they have created. That I can be of service, and then as I gain knowledge and experience, I may be a source of education or leadership for others. It is about fitting myself into the system of prevention and support.

So as I try to take in as much information over the next week as humanly possible, I will also try to share what I am experiencing. I am making myself a point of access to those who are not able to attend the conference. So if you have questions in regards to HIV/AIDS, both locally or globally, feel free to ask (you can post in the comments section, with your name or anonymously). If I don’t have an answer, then I will keep asking until I get one. And if you don’t have a question, then keep your ears opened to the news that is coming from the conference. The world currently has its eyes on Toronto; it’s the perfect opportunity to learn about the biggest health issue of our time.

Adventures in Wireless

So before the summer ends and I lose track of all the crazy adventures I've had this summer, I just wanted to share one of the "special moments" from my road trip this summer.

The scene is in suburban North Dakota on a cloudy Tuesday afternoon, as three ambitious Canadians try to steal wireless access from the unsuspecting Americans. I managed to post a blog (see "One Night in Fargo", June 13th) and send out some emails before the unexpected happened...

Anyway, hope you get a chuckle.

Let the games be remembered...

(sigh...)

What a week I have had.

The OutGames has been amazing and entertaining and heartwarming and draining and fun. The opening ceremonies was a blast, it was an intense and emotional experience to be entering the Montreal Olympic Stadium with 10 000 athletes and artists from 111 different countries. Also a privilege to be part of the "hometown" contingent of Team Montreal... there were loud cheers from us proud queers.

My sport was volleyball. We played hard and placed 5th out of 16 teams. There were teams from Brazil, Thailand, Mexico, Denmark, and many other countries competing. Volleyball was fun to play because you get to know the different teams, however it did leave me cooped up in a gym for 3 days... so when it wrapped up I was excited to check out some of the other sporting events such as badminton, basketball, soccer, and beach volleyball.

It was a pleasure to see people being awared their medals. To hear of stories of triumph and participation, to see the crowd cheering on the last man to cross the finish line of the men's 65 and older 1500 m race. The games were about participating, and there was a sense in the air that everyone had already won.

The week was made more pleasurable by having my house full of loved ones from the west. Tim came out from Prince George to play volleyball in the games (our teams played against each other in an epic battle... ending in a tie... which was healthy for our relationship), while Lisa & Ryan came out from Victoria to enjoy the Montreal summer, to cheer us on, and to help stalk Leonard Cohen from my balcony. One of my fondest memories of the week will be dressing up and heading down to the pride parade (see photo below). People actually came up to us to take our photos.

So now it is a quiet Monday night and I am thinking about heading to bed... I am still recooperating from lack of sleep and high emotions. But I am also feeling confused on how to process such an incredible and intense experience. How does one transition back into "everyday life" after such a unique and powerful experience?

I don't have the answer to this yet, but I know that I will be going back over the photos and the memories for a while... here are some pic's of the games. Included is the opening ceremonies, the badminton crowds, Ryan & myself with a drag queen, and my good friends Hil & Suzie on the podium after their 1st/2nd place in the womens 4 km cross-country race!

Let the games begin!

I am on the eve of a deliciously exciting week here in Montreal. The first ever World OutGames kicks off on the weekend with the opening ceremonies on Saturday night (featuring Cirque du Soleil, KD Lang, Martha Walsh, and more). The OutGames consist of a conference on Human Rights, numerous sporting competitions, as well as cultural events (such as dance and choral). It is an opportunity to bring people together, to gain media attention for gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered rights, to engage in sport, to enjoy the many shows that are taking place.

Here is an exerpt from the OutGames website:

Based on the principles of Participation and Celebration, Respect and Fairness, Innovation, Diversity and Empowerment (PRIDE), the games welcome everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, age, gender, race, religion, nationality, ethnicity, physical challenge, political beliefs, physical ability, athletic/artistic skills or HIV/ health status. There are no minimum athletic standards to qualify for the Outgames. People with specific needs or disabilities are integrated as full-fledged participants, volunteers, officials and spectators.


For myself, this week will serve as a celebration of sorts. I have come a long way from that 17 year old boy with a secret and no way of expressing himself. I know what it means to feel isolated, I know how it feels to be called a "fag", and I know that the process to feeling comfortable in my own skin has been somewhat tumultuous.

These days, I know how it feels to have community, to feel loved, and to feel proud. I am extremely blessed to be able to be accepted and supported by my family, friends, and a nation that is on the forefront of non-heterosexual rights. This week I celebrate the transition from isolation to community, from self-confused to self-connected, and from shame to pride.

It still brings tears to my eyes... and I hope it always will.

Thanks for being a part of my process.

Dan

Upon My Second Pillow

I discovered last night
that I have been sharing my bed
with a centipede.

When the lights go dim,
he crawls upon my second pillow
resting his laggard legs
(after a day of dodging dust bunnies
beneath my boxspring)

I haven't the heart
to ask him to find a new flat.

For if I were a centipede,
I would find it terribly tedious
to pull up my one hundred socks
and take on the day.

letting the thunder be

"Thunder is the sound of the shockwave caused during a thunderstorm when lightning rapidly heats and expands the air in and directly around the lightning channel (bolt) into plasma, producing acoustic shock waves in the atmosphere identified as thunder. It is said that the air is heated up to 30 000 °C (54 000 °F)."

-Wikipedia



Tonight I sit in my apartment as a rainstorm cools the hot summer heat. It has been a balmy 39 C in Montréal (with the humidity factor), and I have spent the past couple days in my un-airconditioned apartment toying with insanity. The trick to survival is to make peace with stickiness, to keep the drinking glasses in the freezer, and to take two cold showers a day.

So the thunderstorm is a welcomed respite from the heat.

I am fascinated by the grandeur of thunder. I love its magnitude, its unappologetic presence, and the way a good crack of thunder can be felt inside of my chest. I am reminded of my littleness when a dramatic storm rolls through my structured days. I have no control over the lightning and thunder; it is refreshing to step back and indulge in the powerlessness of the moment.

I can't say that I fully understand how thunder occurs, despite the brief definition above... and I feel content in not-knowing. It is something that I prefer to keep mysterious. Somethings affect us which require refection and processing , while others we need not analyze. I will enjoy the thunder and let it be.


* * * *

Non-thunderous things that have rocked my world in the past couple of months:


SONG: "Take the Long Way" by Po'Girl (out of Vancouver)... sweet harmonies, dizzying heights, and a call for taking time to see the moon. Beautiful. (Thanks for the introduction Rachel)

MOVIE: "Crash" by Canada's own Paul Haggis. Definitely worth the hype, and a deserving Oscar win. I appreciated how each charater was a villain and a hero in his or her own way... outlined a personal core belief: there are no winners when it comes to racism.

BOOK: "Written on the Body" by Jeanette Winterson. Part novel, part prose, heavily romantic, achingly tragic.


"Written on the body is a secret code only visible in certain lights; the accumulations of a lifetime gather there. In places the palimpsest is so heavily worked that the letters feel like braille"


PLACE: Montana, USA. I cannot argue with its shear beauty... from winding rivers, to golden prairies, to the continental divide. I want to go back and explore.

Notes from 3000 meters

I am currently a few thousand meters above Cranbrook, BC, moving faster than the speed of sound, and enjoying the way the slow sinking western sun is reflecting off of the Rocky Mountains. That’s right, I am on an airplane (seat 16F, a window beside the emergency exit), heading back to Montreal - my home away from home.

I don’t really get the whole "flying" thing. My semi-functional brain has yet to fully comprehend how it is possible for a one-hundred ton mix of steal, rubber, fuel, and flesh can hurl through the atmosphere at 400 km/hour, and then I can walk away intact with little more than a small jet-lag haziness and a minor case of flatulence. It is a miracle that shan’t cease to amaze me.

Some people love flying; I however accept my inevitable death each time I am sitting on the tarmac waiting for take-off. Usually, I take stock of my life, my family, and my dreams, and then take a deep breath and say, “well I didn’t get to drop acid while walking barefoot through India… but it’s been a good 25 years”. Twenty minutes later, after checking my pulse and reminding myself of my student loan debt, the pain of life sinks back in and I realize that indeed I am still alive. As such, you have been graced with/subjected to another rambling blog.



I am, however, a lover of airports: the hustle, the bustle, the bittersweet goodbyes, and the excitement of arriving. Often, I will show up early just to watch people coming and going, to wander through the bookshops, and to treat myself to a fine airport dining experience. “Today’s Special” was the Swiss Vegetarian soy-burger, served with lightly seasoned Yukon potatoes, and a carbonized cane-sugar lemon water (aka: Combo #7 with Sprite at A&W’s). Airports are a place of transition, and I love the thought of thousands of people randomly being in the same place, at the same time.

It is combination of souls that will exist only for a moment in eternity…

* * * *
(Three minutes later, after a quick trip to the lavatory…)

Have you ever wondered what happens to the urine when you flush in an airplane? The sound kind of freaks me out, like it’s being sucked out into the sky. Hmmm… just something to think about.


* * * *

So this morning I was a west-coaster, I went jogging around Vancouver’s Stanley Park, and then topped off with a fresh-fruit smoothie. Tonight I will become, again, un Montrealais, sip red wine on my rooftop overlooking “the Main”, and perhaps sing a slow movin’ country song. I am lucky to be a transnational Canadian, that I am able to enjoy the best of two great worlds.

So even if this plane should go down in a great inferno over a Great Lake, I will be grateful that I have had the time to see family, to be romantic, to have adventure, and to know that I have urinated on some of the highest mountains in the world.



Good-bye BC, I’ll see you soon.

The Lakes are Calling

Sometimes the best adventures are in our own backyards.

In the backyard of Prince George is one of the most famous canoe circuits in the world. It is called Bowron Lake Provincial Park and consists of six or seven clean, crisp lakes closely linked in a rectangular-like loop of jaw-droppingly beautiful scenery. It’s a paddler’s wet(suit) dream…

Yes, it is in my backyard, and embarrassingly I have yet to conquer the circuit, yet to complete my bushman’s rite of passage, yet to sacrifice my sweet city-boy blood to the hungry swarms of black flies.

However on Sunday, for the first time in twenty odd years, I went up to the Bowron Lakes with Tim to have a little peak around (I was told by my mother that we went camping there as a family, many years ago… however, we did not do the 7-day canoe circuit).

Tim and I brought a tent and spent 24 hours exploring the area: we hiked, swam in the cool water, canoed for a couple hours, and drank a couple beer in the lodge overlooking the lake. As well, we were treated to some special outdoor treats: a momma Grizzly bear with three cubs, a star-lit sky with satellites drifting by, and a dramatic rainstorm (which we narrowly escaped). It was quick breath of adventure and nature.

I was happy to get to see the area, but sad that I had such little time… as such, I have set a goal to take the time to paddle the circuit within the next five years.

In my previous posts, I have written about the desire for travel and adventure. In fact I advised you to get out there and add new stamps to your passport. For myself, the Bowron Lakes are a perfect example of not needing to go far to find beauty and adventure. In my own backyard there is an adventure waiting to happen, and I am looking forward to stepping up the challenge!

I hope you find some adventure your own backyard!

A Letter

Re: Comments left on the most recent post "On Romanticism"


Dear Non-Gender Identified Anonymous Commentator,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You are obviously well versed in critical thinking, and I have a deep respect for that. It is my hope that the readers of this blog were not offended by me attaching a gender to romance.

I chose a feminine gender because, for myself, romance has been soft, graceful, and beautiful. In the context of my life, these traits have come more frequently from women. I also chose to gender romance because it simply sounds more poetic, and helped to create a romantic tone to the blog in which I was writing. My goal was to elict romantic notions from my readers, and to a certain degree I felt like I had failed when reading your comments. Romance is something that I value and I wanted to share this with those who I care about.

I realize some implications of attaching gender to concepts and ideas (example: perpetuating a problematic bianary system), and I accept full implications of this. To me, romance is indeed practical in many ways, for instance, it helps me enjoy life.

As for my suggestions on how to lead a romantic life being "intrenched in privilege", in some ways I agree with you and in other ways I am surprised that these suggestions were not interpreted as the metaphors in which they were intended. To "get new stamps on your passport" is simply a way of advising one to travel, to step out of familiar territory, to observe other ways of life. This could mean having lunch in a different part of town or walking a different way home from work/school.

Also, I think that you have interpreted the word "home" as simply as structure with walls and a roof. For myself, "home" includes all the people that share the space, the emotions that are elicited, and the experiences that are created. To be able to think about ideas of romance, creating a home and traveling is indeed a privilege, I agree with you. I also believe that dreaming beyond my current socioeconomic status, academic limitations, or spiritual plains will help me, not only be romantic, but also to envision a future of growth and actualization on various personal levels.

It felt like your comments were coming from a discourse that is a part of why romance seems so distant in my culture. Personally, I am torn between the value of critical thinking and dissection versus the value of letting myself be un-analytical and being more present. At what point do I allow myself to be romantic? to be analytical? Is it possible to do both at the same time? I felt like your comments had succeeded to un-romanticize that which I had just written.

I am a bit disappointed that you chose to remain anonymous, however grateful that you took the time to challenge and share your thoughts. I love the suggestion of "enjoying what you have", for me, it is a romantic notion to see myself one day feeling completely balanced and needless. Enjoying what I have now is a great place to start.

So thanks, it was refreshing to be stimulated :)

Sincerely,


Daniel

On Romanticism

I have been thinking a lot about romance lately, and the various forms in which she exists. When thinking about romance, we often imagine candle-lit dinners, long-stemmed red roses, making love on a beach, and poetry dripping with intergalactic grandeur. These romantic notions are based on love, sensuality, and sexuality.

But what are the other ways that one can be romantic?

For myself, I am highly romantic about my life, about the way I desire my time on this planet to unfold, and all the things that I hope to accomplish. This indeed does include falling in love (and all the gushy things listed above), but also many romantic notions of adventure, lifestyle, and community.

I want to write poetry in a Paris café, I want to watch the sunrise from the top of Mount Kilimanjaro, I want to buy a boat and live on it, I want to run a marathon, I want to record an album, I want to plant a garden, I want to watch children grow, I want to bake bread, I want grey hair, I want to die knowing that I have lived.

For a long time, I was hesitant to admit to the true extent of my romanticism. I think this was a response to the fact that we are living in fairly un-romantic times. These are the days of Wal-mart, the 6 o’clock news, suburban isolation, and institutionalized aging. It is tragically easy to live an un-romantic life. We have jobs that tell us to be more efficient, schools that tell us to be more logical, and a society that tells us to be unoriginal.

I, for one, feel a need to fight against the dying of romance. And as such, I have chosen to be an ally to romance, because I think she has seen better days.

So what is being an ally to romance?

It means stating loud and clear that I AM A ROMANTIC and that I am pretty damn proud of it. In doing this I hope you are able to think about your own romantic tendencies and divulge in them from time to time. You may just find yourself smiling a bit more.





Tips on living a romantic life (from a self appointed expert):

• Get new stamps on your passport regularly

• Write letters and postcards (not just e-mails)

• Take time to daydream

• Keep a journal

• Build/design a home

• Be bold (…I’m still learning this one)

• Become comfortable with tears

A Little Spruce Tree

A mighty wind has blown me across this continent and up Hwy 97 to my hometown of Prince George, the White-Spruce Capital of the World. It feels good to be home. It is reassuring to know that I can go out into the world, allow myself to be altered by many formative experiences, yet I am able to return to a place where change is much slower and family is a constant.

I am a little spruce tree, and my roots run deep into this clay soil.

Perhaps you can relate to a hometown or a place where you can return and be reminded of the past (if you live in the same city that you grew up, perhaps this place is a yearly vacation spot, or an old neighborhood). We have places in our lives that hold history, for me, Prince George is a forest of memories.

When I return, there is often a process of taking stock of what I have been through since my last visit. What have I accomplished? Who have I met? Where have I traveled or wandered through? How have I allowed the world to change me, and more importantly, do I like the changes? It is an opportunity to witness personal growth and evolution as I compare the person I am today to younger versions of myself.

One great way of doing that is how I engage with my family. There have been times when I have returned and have been bit temperamental (to put it frankly, I was a bitch). Other times I have been withdrawn and distant. These days, with the exception of an occasional mood swing, I find that I am able to be much more present. I am more interested in engaging in a way that is beneficial to the overall climate of my family system.

What does this mean? It means knowing when to challenge and when to accept, when to speak out and when to keep my mouth shut, when to step up to lend a hand and when to take the time I need for myself. It is a knowledge of what is desired from my loved-ones, while keeping in mind what I need to do for myself so that I am able to be of service to them. For me, this is much of the essence of maintain healthy relationships.

In theory it sounds lovely, in actuality it can be quite challenging.

So the choices I made a couple of weeks ago have allowed me to return to familiar soil. I am satisfied with my decision and the opportunities it has granted me: I like being home, I like the fact that I can have time and space to reconnect with family and self, I like the large sky of northern BC.

It has been six months since my last visit and my time away from this home has left me a bit older, more experienced, perhaps even a bit wiser. And I will leave here feeling rested, and ready to allow myself to be challenged, pushed, and formed again. I have learned that the world grants much opportunity to experience and develop; I just have to be willing to grow.

Luckily, spruce trees are meant to grow.

Safe and Sound

After five days and 5000 km's, we have arrived in Vancouver.

We have been extremely fortunate to have good weather and no automotive problems! For those who were curious, we took the interstate highway (I-94) across the northern USA, visiting nine states in five days. It was a really beautiful drive... I would go as far as saying that it was more beautiful than the Canadian route (Highway 1). I am inspired to go back.

More highlights:

• The Badlands of North Dakota

• A slow sinking sun over the Montana prairies

• Dramatic storms and epic mountains of the Continental Divide

• Talking to the locals... I have never met so many friendly people

I wish I had more time to ramble on and on about it, but unfortunately I'm a bit pressed. Stay tuned for some video footage of the trip. We did a video journal each day, and I hope to share some of that.

I'll leave with some photos of the landscape that we saw (photos stolen, but accurate representations):

One Night In Fargo

It’s Tuesday morning, and I’m on the Interstate 94 highway in Northern Dakota. I’ve got the sun shining down, some country music coming through the radio, and prairie fields as far as the eye can see. It’s the true mid-west experience… except instead of a noble stallion, I have an iBook.

So far the road trip is going really well; I am reminded of my love for movement and travel. We’ve been doing long days in a little car, but thankfully I am joined by two fun-loving and laidback friends: Rachel and John.

I don’t have much battery, so I will give the highlights (and lowlights) of the trip so far:

• Driving through Chicago at night. The Sears Tower had two pillars in the shape of devil horns, lit up in red light… the evil headquarters of corporate America.

• Eating meals in greasy American diners. The people have been extremely friendly and warm. At one diner they had a special section for “Professional Truck Drivers”.

• Rachel hit a raccoon… there is a very specific sound when a car collides with a large rodent. I hope that you don’t have to hear it. Ever.

• Spending the night in FARGO! Yup, I’ve seen the movie, now I’m living the experience. We’ve got a dead raccoon in the trunk, we just need to find a wood-chipper.

• A sketchy highway motel with a bizarre wet spot on the carpet and the heavy sent of perfume in the air.

That's all I have time for now! (we're currently pulled into the driveway of some random citizen, stealing his/her wireless internet! God Bless America!)

Saturday Night in Orillia, Ontario

So the world-wind trip from Chicoutimi to Prince George has begun. We'll be traveling through the northern states, and up through Seattle... I hope to get a photo of Fargo, North Dakota.

Tonight I am in Orillia at the beautiful home of Rachel's Aunt and Uncle. It is lovely to be a country home, and luckly they have some wireless internet as well. The best of both worlds.

I had twelve hours in Montreal, as I arrived last night around 9 PM and left early this morning. I love that city so much, the smells, the sights, the sounds. I am excited to come back in July, but even more excited to be on the road again.

A HUGE THANKS to the folks that swung by and saw me last night. I am feel so blessed that I can roll into town for an evening and that people are willing to make space in their lives for me. You are all loved dearly!

So wish me luck on my travels! I hope that my path crosses with yours this summer...

(oh, and here's a little video that I enjoyed... I call it "The Summer That I Almost Had")

Peace and Love (and Homeward Bound)

A couple of weeks ago, over dinner conversation, I asked my Host Mother if she was a hippie in the 70’s. I had a sneaking suspicion because she seems to enjoy talking about sex and works as an artisan. She replied to me, “I was more ‘Peace and Love’, then a hippie because I didn’t smoke enough pot.”

* * *

So yesterday I went for a job interview at the “Musée de la Défense Aérienne”. They are searching for two tour guides for the summer, and I met the qualifications… so I thought, “why not?” I could spend the summer learning about planes, practicing my French, and Learning about the Military (the museum is on the Canadian Forces Base Bagotville).

Before the interview, I had thought about what it would be like to be in a Military Air-force work environment. My imagination had conjured up images of Top Gun… strapping men with moustaches and aviator sunglasses, having lunch breaks with Maverick and Goose, getting random free rides in the F-14 Tomcats, the soundtrack to my summer being “Take My Breath Away”. You know, the usual stuff.


Well, as we know, sometimes my imagination races faster than reality.

At the interview, I was greeted by a pimply-faced, recruit from Ontario who is in Bagotville for the summer. He was indeed very nice as he gave me the tour of the museum, going into excited detail about the planes used in World War I and II. He spoke eagerly about the most effective bombs and guns. Then he told me that at the Royal Military College, it’s hard to meet girls. Shocking.

I began to imagine myself giving the tour. Would I be that interested in learning the history of Aero-War? Could I give a passionate and engaging tour to the public? Should I spend the next five weeks here, talking about planes and war and bombs? Ultimately, it would have been a very intriguing and random experience, but no, I just don’t think it’s my scene.

Like my Host Mother, I think that I am just a little too “Peace and Love”.

* * *

After the interview yesterday, I made my decision: I will be heading to BC for 3 weeks. Thank you to those who shared their thoughts and ears with me as I hummed and hoed for the past couple of weeks. So if you are in BC, then I hope to get a chance to meet up with you in the next month!

My sister gave me some good advice: “When you don’t know what to do, then sometimes the best thing to do is to go home.”

Homeward bound, I am.

Chicoutimite at Heart

It's official, I am supposed to be learning french! I just completed a highly scientific internet personality quiz, and it has reconfirmed my motivation to learn the language of the passionate. Now I just have to move to Paris...

Actually, Chicoutimi is much like Paris. The people here speak french, they have hair, and are even known to eat bread. There is also a really tall tree, not far from my home here, that with a little trimming and a spotlight could be mistake for the eiffel tower. I think I'll buy a burrét before I leave.

Interestingly, I am not really sure when I will be leaving. I am faced with a decision on what I would like to do with myself for the next five weeks. Here are the options:

1. Find work in Chicoutimi. This would allow me to save a bit of money and continue to practice my french... however I would have to quit any job that I found after only five weeks.

2. Roadtrip out to BC. My roommate here is driving to Vancouver and needing someone to join her on a mad, cross-country four day adventure. Benifits include seeing family and folks in BC... minus points however for incuring more student debt.

3. Go back to Montreal.


Anyway, if you have two cents to throw at me (larger amounts of money also welcome), you can leave your, advice, votes, instructions, words-of-the-wise, and insults in the "comments" section.

You Should Learn French

C'est super! You appreciate the finer things in life... wine, art, cheese, love affairs. You are definitely a Parisian at heart. You just need your tongue to catch up...

What Language Should You Learn?

A little tour of the shop

Yesterday morning I decided to get creative... creative and silly. So I made a brief documentary of the home where I am staying, here in Chicoutimi. It's about 4 mins long, so it may take a couple seconds to buffer, but I hope you have the time to give it a look.

You'll have to excuse the bed-head and lack of makeup... and who was the numb-nuts that chose the wardrobe? Get somebody from wardrobe up here! And where's my coffee? I ordered a decaf latte like 30 mins ago. And get Spielburg on the phone, his last movie was rubbish... I've got an earful for him.

ah-hem.

So without further adieu, enjoy le petit tour.

If the french language were a unicorn...

So what was the news that we recieved that would change things?

Last Wednesday we were told that we would be receiving two more students with us. Our immediate reaction was, "NO!!! We don't want to mess with the balance". But nobody actually asked us what we thought about it.

Ann and Ivan each have their own room, which I think is a smart idea for any couple. However, they decided to shack up and share one room, to make space for the two new girls.

The next day I found out that it was one of the girls from my class that was movin' in due to a bad host-family situation (bread and butter for dinner sort of deal). I also got to meet her roommate, who I have coined "le Cheerleader", because she sort of bounced up to me the first time we met and introduced herself in mangled french with a valleygirl accent. It was like watching a unicorn being slaughtered with an ax.

"Mon Dieu", I thought... my sacred host-family is being invaded by Jessica Simpson.

After only two weeks together, we had established a family unit (a family system) and I had no interest in changing it. Ironically, a month ago I wrote about the inevidabilty of change, and how we have a choice in how we deal with it. Here was my perfect opportunity to step up and prove my maturity to welcome change, to allow others to join the privileged situation that I was in.

So what did I do? I sulked for a while. I was cold. I was mildly bitchy for the first 4 days. Did these 19 year-old girls not realize they were invading the sacred Veggie-BC-Musician space? No, they did not. And for this they would suffer.

Nice work Dan.

Anyway, now it is a week later and the equilibrium has been re-established in the family. I have made an effort to be warmer. We are now seven people under one roof, things are busy and lively, the table is full of conversation. Le Cheerleader (pronounced with a thick french accent, "Le sheer-lee-deur") is actually a very sweet girl with intentions to be friendly and nice. The climate of the house has changed a bit, but things are still good...

It's still a bit of a fairy tale. Grumpy just had to make space for the other dwarfs.

Coin des Péchés

When I left you last, the Prince has gotten into a vehicle with a strange little Quebecois man, and was driving off to his countryside home where he would ride horses and eat hemp-burgers with renovating lesbians. Now, for the final half of the trilogy...

* * *

Well, shortly after we had left the university, the car pulled up beside a small shop and the little stout man, who was my chauffeur, said, “Here we are!”

I looked out the window, and was a little surprised because it appeared that we were in a parking lot for a large mall that was right behind the little shop. At this point my fantasies began to waver, and my wide-eyed smile was dropping into an expression of disillusionment. There would be no writing poetry from the bay window in the attic.


What I found was something equally lovely in it’s own unique way.

The little stout man is actually called “Ivan Roberts”, and he is one of the best Luthiers in Canada (a Luthier stems from the word “lute”, and is the term to describe one who makes instruments). He lives with a woman named “Anne Jones” who is a sculptor and artisan. She specializes in paper-maché sculpturing, jewelry making, and designing marionettes. I have had the privilege of being matched with this couple for the duration of my language program here in Chicoutimi.

Ann and Ivan have their workshop in the centre-ville of Chicoutimi. They work downstairs during the day: carving wood, molding shapes, painting violins and marionettes, and living their creative lives. It is a bit like a storybook here.

Above the workshop is a comfy apartment with three spare bedrooms that they rent to students throughout the year. As I was the first of three students to arrive that Sunday afternoon, I had the first choice of bedrooms. I chose the sunniest bedroom with gentle tones of green. It also had a paper-maché wall hanging that portrayed a man with an erection chasing a red-haired naked woman, both under the watchful eye of a giant pig. It felt immediately at home.

It turns out that each room in the apartment is named- the kitchen is called “Aux Petits Oignons”, another bedroom is called “Soleil Rouge”, my bedroom however is called “Coin des Péchés”. Roughly translated, this means “center of sins”. I am going to have to get busy and live up to the name.

Anyway, later that day my two roommates arrived. First was Rachel, who walked up the stairs with two instruments in her hands and a friendly smile. She has worked as a project coordinator for Katimavik, traveled around the world, has run a marathon, and just finished her Masters in Urban Planning at Dalhousie (Halifax). Needless to say, Rachel is doing amazing things with her life and I am enjoying the process of getting to know her.

The third, and final, student to arrive was Evan. He came in smiling, but with a slightly disheveled aura around him. He then proceeded to tell the story of how he lost his bus ticket and had to buy another one. He has a talent for telling well-animated stories, humouring us his intelligent side comments, and stumbling out of his room late in the morning with epic bed-head. Evan is studying world religion at McGill and I hope that we’ll have the opportunity to continue learning the language together when we return to Montreal.

The three of us are all vegetarians (hence the reason we were housed together) and all originate from British Columbia. We are also at similar levels with our French; we can carry on basic conversations but struggle with the complexities of the language. Often we can be heard asking each other, “how do you say ‘Suck it up Buttercup’ in French?”, as well as many other important idiosyncratic phrases that are key to express oneself in a new language.

So this is the story of my temporary home in Chicoutimi. I am living above a little shop in the center of town with four other unique souls: Ivan the instrument maker, Ann the sculptor (and vegetarian chef extraordinaire), Rachel the achiever, Evan the actor, and me (the prince with the active imagination). There is a beautiful little balance here. Life goes well…




However, on Wednesday we received news that things would change.

(stay tuned!)

Ode to my Mother

(the story of my host family will continue shortly...)

Today, I would like to write about the queen of my real/genetic/post-dysfunctional family. And since today is Mother's Day, what better way to express the love one has for his mother, but to blog? I am a 21st century son after all.

I am a 21st century son with a global soul, and therefore, it is not a grand surprise that today I am thousands of kilometers away from my mother. When I was younger, I had little context of what my mother was like compared to other mothers. Then I set off on my own, I went to university, traveled to different countries, worked in different situations. It became evident that my mother was indeed unique, with strengths that I had never realized before. I began to realize my privilege.

I want to shout out my appreciation. My mother has always been an enormous source of support - emotionally, intellectually, financially. She has had the ability to step back and let me wander, yet the intelligence to have provided me with boundaries when I was young. These rules have installed in me a sense of self-discipline and knowledge of personal boundaries.

Today I celebrate the strong, supportive, adventurous, capable, intelligent woman that is my mother.

I also want to celebrate your mother too. If you are reading this, there is a good chance that you have had a positive impact on my life. And undoubtably, your own mother was a big part of why you are the fabulous person that you are. So with this logic, I am grateful for your mothers as well.

So thank you mom for being you. I wish I could be there with you today to help you in the garden, cook you a lovely dinner, and perhaps play a little Quiddler. Instead I offer you a raincheck and a blog.




As much as I am a bit of a Baylis, I am also small sprinkle of Sparks.

Birkenstocks and Little Orphan d'Annie

The prince has arrived to Chicoutimi! I am here to “apprendre le francais” during a five-week French language program. I drove up last Saturday with two lady escorts, Chantal and MYLENE(!), past frozen lakes and clear-cuts filled with snow. When we arrived, we managed to find a cheap, yet tasteful, motel next to the river, and then proceeded to experience the Chicoutimi nightlife. It involved beer and an incapacity to find the university, even after multiple trips up and down Boulevard de l’Université.

Between us, we have almost 20 years of post-secondary training, yet finding a large academic institution in a small town proved to be a challenge. Sometimes universities hide themselves.

Anyway, back in March, when I was completing my application for this language program, I had the choice of living in residence or staying with a host family. Being the mildly brave risk-taker that I am, I thought I’d try my luck and have the true Chicoutimi experience. I chose to live with a host family.

I had idealized the perfect host family situation… I would live with two Birkenstock-wearing, granola lesbians out in the countryside in a large house over-looking the river. There would be horses for me to ride on the weekends, and my room would be the renovated attic complete with a large bay window. Here I would write poetry and watch the clouds roll by. My lesbian mothers would prepare me intricate vegetarian meals and swoon over my knowledge of female singer-songwriters. Oddly enough, there was no speaking french involved.

Anyway, on Sunday afternoon, after an exploration of the region, Mylene and Chantal headed back to Montreal and I was on my own to start my five-weeks of school and poetic endeavors. I started the process of checking into the program and getting my student card, while the organizers phoned my host family to inform them of my arrival. I was told to sit and wait on a couch while someone was coming to collect me.

Little orphan d’Annie sitting all alone in a big, scary francophone world.

Ten minutes later, I was informed that my host “Father” had arrived. I looked over to see a short man with thick glasses, a long grey ponytail and a belly large enough for triplettes waddling slowly towards me. He was wheezing and smelled of sawdust.

“There must be some sort of mistake,” I said in my head, “apart from his obvious disregard for fashion sensibility, this jolly old man cannot possibly be one of my lesbian mothers.”

However then I thought that perhaps my lesbian mothers were busy in the garden or got delayed while putting new shoes on the horses or lost track of time while re-buffing the hardwood floors in the attic for my arrival. Perhaps they had to send someone else to fetch me.

So I decided to have a little faith and I got in the van with this strange little man…

(the story of the host family will continue shortly…)

Treasure (Hunter)

Feedback: Disclosing how you are perceiving and reacting to another person to provide him or her with constructive information. This can help the person become aware of his or her behaviour and effectiveness.

____________________________________________________

Feedback is a bit like treasure- I can use it to make myself richer. Through feedback I am able to increase the knowledge that I have of myself. By giving you feedback, I am allowing you to learn about yourself. It is a mutually beneficial endeavor that leads to increased self-awareness.

The actual content of this particular blog entry is going to come from you; the comments are the content. That’s right, I need full participation on this one. I am sending you on a quick “Treasure Hunt” to find an image on the internet. Your mission (if you choose to accept it) is to come back and leave a comment.

“But I don’t know how to leave a comment,” you say.

Well I am teaching you right now:

1) Click on the “Comments” icon
2) Write a Comment
3) Choose an identity (no blogger account? then chose “OTHER”)
4) When finished click on “Publish Your Comment”

It’s as simple as 1, 2, 3 (and 4)!. So let’s get the fun started…


When I was treeplanting last summer, I made a very special friend. His name was “Moe Lemounder”, and despite our incompatible politics, we quickly discovered our many cosmic connections and similarities. For example, we both eat breakfast! It was a friendship that was nobodies business but our own.

And now it has become your business. Go into the world of cyber space, find Moe Lemounder, then come back and share your thoughts.

Your thoughts are my treasure.