Summertime... and the music is playing

So I spent the weekend in a tent out at Mont Orford (QC) where I got to climb a mountain, sit on beach, read a book, and think about the upcoming projects in my life. It was also an urgent attempt to appreciate the last offerings of summer before I am shackled to the textbooks of post-secondary education and the winter cold keeps me captive in my own home.

(ahem...) Sorry, I'm having a hard time letting go of the summer.

I am actually excited to about the refreshing coolness in the air, the desire to start cooking hearty fall dinners, and pulling out the big duvet from the closet and snuggling up. Fall is definitely my season.

But summer has been lovely and I've been privileged to do many a great thing.

So in honour of summer and the good times, I compiled a mix of some of the tunes that were my soundtrack for the past 4 months. I thought I'd make a bit of a (illegal) game of it and burn a few copies to give to those who wanted a fun little mix CD. Don't hate me for pirating music... hopefully it will inspire you to go and support the artists that you love.




MIX06

Be (Common)
Inside and Out (Feist)
I Don't Know What I Can Save You From (Kings Of Convenience)
Superstition (Stevie Wonder)
Neutroniks (k-os)
Keep on Movin' (?)
I'm So Excited (Le Tigre)
Lovers In The Backseat (Scissor Sisters)
Daybreaker (Beth Orton)
Rooftop Campers (Freeworm)
I Want You Back (The Jackson 5 )
Crazy (Gnarls Barkley)
Take The Long Way (Po' Girl)


So here's the deal... I will send a copy to the first five folks to leave a comment and tell me what your favourite part of the summer was. The beach? The martinis? A summer romance? Your brazilian wax?

Lookin' forward to hearing some of your stories...

happy harvesting :)

Links, Resources, and Images

I have recieved a couple of emails asking if it would be okay to share this blog with other people. My answer is ABSOLUTELY... the more people that read "The Little Spruce Tree", the happier I am. This is a space where I share my public thoughts and I encourage people to comment and dialogue on the subjects that I write about.

So please, forward friends and family the address to the blog, or add me as a link to your blog, or create a stylish publicity campaign to target all internet users on a global level. Your choice.

* * *

So I've made it back to Montreal after a busy week in Toronto. There are still many thoughts circling around in my head about where to go from here, how I can have the biggest impact in the work that I do, who I would like to work with, and what I can be doing now to create opportunities in the future. It is important stuff.

Today however, I will not bore you with the details :) Instead, I wanted to post some resources, links, and images that could help to get the wheels turning in your brain and for us all to access information.



WEBSITES:


www.unaids.org

The United Nations: A great source for educating oneself on the global state of the pandemic, with information on how AIDS affects women, drug users, and young people.


www.cdnaids.ca

Canadian AIDS Society: A coalition of over 125 community-based AIDS service organizations across Canada. Also provides links to each organization, so it would be possible to gain information about what is going on in your community. The Walk for Life is on September 17th… who will you be marching with? Find out here!


www.actoronto.org

AIDS Committee of Toronto: Need a place to start? This is a good website to educate yourself on HIV/AIDS transmission, safer sex information, HIV/AIDS Statistics, and Women’s resources.


* * *

LECTURES:

I wanted to let people know that many of the lectures that were given at the Toronto AIDS conference are available as free podcasts on iTunes. Go to the ‘Music Store’, then podcasts, and search AIDS 2006. If you need some direction on where to start, let me know.

If you are without an MP3 player or iPod, then you can click here to access online streaming-audio access to the lectures at the conference, include speeches by Bill Gates, Bill Clinton, Stephen Lewis, and others. (http://www.kaisernetwork.org/aids2006/index.cfm).


* * *

EMAIL:

Let me also give you the email where you can contact the Prime Minister himself.

pm@pm.gc.ca or Harper.S@parl.gc.ca

I wrote Stevie a quick note yesterday asking for continued and reliable funding for the Global AIDS relief fund, as well as encouraging him to renew the licence for the Vancouver Safe injection site. I also invited him to join me at the "Walk For Life" on September 17th, it is a fundraiser for HIV/AIDS where people get pledged to walk. I'll keep you posted if I hear anything :)

Feel free to send an email and express your concerns… it is my belief that if people are vocal, then governments respond.


* * *

IMAGES:

Finally, I'd like to leave with some prevention campaign images that I have seen at the conference and on the internet. Please comment if you have any specific reactions or thoughts to what you see... what do you think works? what doesn't?

Friday's Report (Toronto AIDS Conference)

And so it ends.

As mentioned yesterday, the conference wrapped up today with more speeches and summaries about what we have done over the past 5 days, and where we are headed. The highlight of the day, as to be expected, was listening to the charismatic and poignant words of Stephen Lewis (see Wednesday’s Report for more). He was rewarded with a standing ovation and an applause that lasted for five minutes. Also included in the ceremonies were a couple of short films, musical performances, and the ‘handing of the reins’ to Mexico City, who will play host in 2008. It was with mixed emotions that I left the conference center, and re-entered the world- a world where I am unforunately not constantly marinated in motivation and hope.

Because of this, I am already thinking of the logistics of getting myself to Mexico City in 2008.

One of the most thematic sentiments that has been expressed over the past few days is that HIV/AIDS is not just a health issue: it is an issue of gender inequity, of homophobia, of poverty, of human rights, of inadequate policy making, of racism. Those who are marginalized and stigmatized by society are statistically more vulnerable to the pandemic: sex workers, men who have sex with men, drug users, transgendered folk, and indigenous peoples.

There are interventions and preventions that proven to reduce the transmission of HIV. We need to support safe-injection sites for drug users. We need to use condoms when engaging in high-risk sexual activities, and continue to make them accessible to youth. We need to individually reflect upon the ways that we perpetuate gender inequalities and racism through the language we use, the politicians we elect, and the assumptions that we make. We need to decriminalize sex workers and provide them with access to health care and sexual health education.

We need to engage ALL populations in the process of policy making. The solutions are not going to come from privileged white males sitting around a conference table at a G-8 Summit meeting. We need to include HIV positive peoples in decision making… because people living with HIV are NOT the problem; they are the key to the solution.

We need action. We need to be given tangible directions and leadership. Let me help to get you started… here’s what you can do:

Write letters. Make your voice be heard. Volunteer. Challenge yourself to think about the ways that you perpetuate inequality. Give money. Educate yourself. VOTE! (and hold your politicians accountable for their promises… they serve to answer to us). Go to a Vigil. Read this blog. Ask questions. Support nurses and caregivers. Let yourself feel the injustice of HIV/AIDS- it can serve to fuel us. Have hope.

These are all proactive steps that can start today.

HIV/AIDS is completely preventable, yet the price of inaction is death. We are standing at the breaking point where the pandemic could go down in history as the greatest tragedy in human history. Or it could be remembered as the place in time where we pulled together to find solutions, where we learned the depths of our generousity, and where we realized that human life is the most precious commodity that we have.

* * *

Thank you for being a part of my week. I acknowledge, again, how truly blessed I am to have been a part of this experience, and I am fully willing to share it with you in whatever capacity I possibly can. It is because I have such wonderful people in my life that I am able to explore and challenge and reflect and give. I am here because of you.

Lots of love,

Daniel

Thursday's Report (Toronto AIDS Conference)

I have just returned from the Vigil that was held to honour, remember, and celebrate the lives of those who have died. I am reminded of the sorrowful legacy that AIDS has created; I am reminded of the reality of the pandemic.

For the past four days I have been engaged in dialogue of prevention and human rights and sexuality and gender inequity, and as such it has been easy to not be effected by the grief, bereavement, and loss that is undeniably a part involved with AIDS support and caregiving. Tonight I am feeling it. Tonight I let the tears fall because I need a way to express my anger and sorrow. Anger that this is preventable, sorrow that it continues.

Let me not fool myself on human realities.

* * *

Today, I experienced the most resonating speech of the conference thus far. The words came from the mouth of a 21 year-old Jamaican girl who spoke on behalf of the youth contingent of the conference. At an early age she attended to her father who died of AIDS-related illnesses; this motivated her to start the first youth group in Jamaica to respond to the AIDS epidemic. This is an inspiring example of transforming devastation in creation; of taking the worst that life can give a person, and turning it into something that heals.

I am humbled and motivated by individuals like this. She spoke to a crowd of 5000 scientist, community workers, and activists with the wisdom and strength of a person far beyond her years, asking for the world to listen to the specific needs of youth. She had strong leadership skills… right now the world needs strong leaders.

So tomorrow is the last day of the AIDS conference and the closing ceremonies, with summaries, key-note addresses, and presentations to be made. It is coming at an appropriate time for myself, as I am growing weary, both cognitively and emotionally. It has been an intense five days thus far, and I will need some time to go through all the information that I have received and to reflect over how I can transfer the momentum of this experience forward. My participation in this conference has been a gift from the donors and supporters of the Canadian Scholarship Programme, and I would like to honour their generousity by paying forward with refreshed motivation and new knowledge.

My gratitude to those who give.


* * *

(The following is something I wrote a couple months ago. It is a reflection on not wanting to become de-sensitized to the harsher realities in which exist in my neighborhood, my country, my world. I think much of my human process has been fighting to keep myself sensitive, on keeping myself open. In light of the vigil and to honour the caregivers who have experienced the most painful part of the pandemic, I thought that today would be an appropriate time to share it…)



un-affect-able

life in the city
can be dehumanizing
the only way I survive
is to go inside my head

I don’t want to be come un-affect-able
I don’t want to become hard

I had fantasies of grandeur
of reconnection
of liberation

(but why?)

because when I step outside it is evident
I am not hard
but bend with warmth and time

and any fantasies in my head
are actualized
only when I realize
that life also gives moments of humanity.

Wednesday's Report (Toronto AIDS Conference)

Stumbled out of bed late this morning after missing my alarm clock, then rushed to catch the subway, grab a refined-sugar breakfast (coffee and cinnamon bun), and make it to the Plenary Session… which I have to admit made me feel completely intellectually inferior. There was much pharmaceutical research-based talk of medicine and biology, and the social scientist in me was longing for some Human Rights or psychosocial based dialogue.

But, the flip side is that I am motivated to educate myself on the scientific/biological side of the pandemic. My work and interested has been focused around healing the spirit, but keeping the physical body alive is equally as important.

Why is so vital to keep people alive?

It seems like such a bizarre question to pose, but I think it is fascinating to explore. As a collective group of human beings we are far to numerous and we are doing far too much damage to sustain the rate that we are consuming and disposing. Some would argue that AIDS is nature’s way of controlling the population, a Darwinian reality of “survival of the fittest”, or even a punishment for those who are engaging in “immoral” behaviour.

I argue, however, that we as a species (with a conscience) will have failed if we do not care for each other in our time of immobility, poverty, and exhaustion. We will be able to hold our heads high in the future, if we can look back and be proud of our past. There is space for mistakes along the way, and these mistakes will teach us invaluable lessons, but I can guarantee that acting with compassion and empathy will lead to a future of wisdom, community, and pride. The most valuable commodity, in my option, is human life; we must fight to keep mothers alive to raise their children.

Today I am feeling especially inspired from listening to the wisdom of Dr. Stephen Lewis, he spoke tonight down at the Harbour Front. Dr. Lewis is a diplomat, humanitarian, and authour (“Race Against Time”) who is not afraid to speak of the gap between political vision and actual human realities. He is a powerful ally in the empowerment of woman and fights for funding for orphans who have lost their parents to AIDS. Listening to him speak is like a little bit of dark chocolate for my soul.

On a lighter note…

I have been doing a lot of filming while at the conference and have a little pipe-dream of making a short, 15-minute documentary about what I am experiencing in the Global Village, in my sessions, and in the halls. Hopefully I will get the opportunity to sit down and sort through the footage and do some editing… if it happens, then I would love the opportunity to share it with you!

Kisses!



More buzz words/concepts:

ARV’s – this is an acronym for Anti-RetroViral treatments. These are essentially the drugs that are needed to suppress the HIV within a person’s blood stream. Huge progress has been made in the past ten years in regards to allowing people to live with HIV… drug regiments used to include 17 pills per day, now the norm is 3 pills.

“3 by 5” – this is a goal that was set to have 3 million people in sub-saharan Africa on life saving anti-retroviral drugs by the year 2005. Unfortunately this goal was not met, but 1.6 million people currently have access to ARV treatment. To put this in context, there are 25 million people in Africa with HIV/AIDS.

Universal Access – the ultimate ideal in regards to enabling each human being access to drug therapies. The goal is to have universal access to medication by the year 2010. It is absolutely ludicrous in my mind to know that medication exists, but it will take another half decade before people can access it (drugs have patents, international policy blocks access, people move alarmingly slow sometimes).

Tuesday's Report (Toronto AIDS Conference)

Day Two at the conference was equally as busy as Day One, but I was a bit more rested and had the stamina to be a bit more present for longer. Which is great because there is so much to do, so many ways to get my brain stimulated.

I started out with learning more about Microbicides! Hurray for giving women tools to protect themselves! So this lead to many thoughts about the ways that prevention of HIV can be delivered. I have to admit that I have been very centered on the idea that prevention should be based around promoting behavioural changes. For example, if an individual was having unprotected sex, then the behavioural change campaign targeting this person would often promote using condoms. However, this is based upon his/her partner’s compliance to do so.

Prevention in the form of a microbicide or vaccine could protect those who do not have the liberty to change their behaviour, such as sex workers (due to illiteracy, poverty, isolation, etc). Protecting sex workers is a vital form of preventing the spread of viruses and infections.

Another buzz around prevention is in regards to male circumcision. There has been a lower prevalence of infection rates amoungst men who have been circumcised. This lends itself to the physiology of foreskin, and its ability to provide an environment for the virus to survive for longer periods, thus making it more likely to enter the body.

However, I am concerned about the concept of circumcision as prevention. Circumcision is a form of body modification, and this decision should be left in the hands of the individual. I hesitate at the idea of widely promoting circumcision of newborns, because on a broad level it is a human rights violation.

There’s some food for thought.

In other news, I made a new friend today. He is a Buddhist monk from Laos, and he flew half way around the world to come to this conference for a week. I was sitting outside, taking a few moments to myself, and watching the clouds float by the CN tower (which was directly above me), when three monks walked by in their religious orange robes. I asked one of the monks if I could interview him on camera, and we got to talking about our experiences in HIV/AIDS work. His name was Somchit Phomthavong and he gave me his email so that we could keep in touch. Perhaps I will go to Laos for a visit.

Other highlights of the day include having lunch and circumcision conversation with my Step-mom (who will be leading an aboriginal-based talking circle tomorrow), protesting the claims made by “Globe & Mail” journalist Margaret Wente in today’s Editorial section (hugely problematic comments about gay men and immigrants), and watching sex workers perform in the Global Village (a performance called “Star Whores”… I hope it will become a trilogy).

Thanks for tuning in, it is great to come home after a long day and process all the information that I have been exposed to… this a great venue to do that and I am extremely happy if you are reading along.

Be well.

Monday's Report (Toronto AIDS Conference)

It’s Monday night and I’m enjoying some dark chocolate as I gather my thoughts and occasionally peer from my 14th floor dorm room. I can hear a gentle hum of 4 million people living their lives; I can see the TV’s illuminating the darkness of a hundred lonely apartments. Perhaps others can see me staring into this computer screen; perhaps they think I am lonely as well.

I am feeling incredibly NOT alone at the moment. By participating in this conference (on HIV/AIDS) I am surrounded by 30,000 people who have come from all corners of the world. This morning I was up at 6:30 am to head to the Women’s Rally & March when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I sleepily turned to see a woman from Nigeria asking me if I was heading to the rally as well. We walked and talked about our experience, involvement, and hopes in regards the HIV/AIDS field. I am finding myself immediately unified with people regardless of age, nationality, or HIV status.

It is also hard to feel alone when Barry White is singing “Stand By Me” to me… well myself and a couple thousand of my new friends. That’s right, the big, beautiful baritone himself kicked off the musical acts of last night’s Opening Ceremonies after a series of speeches by the Ontario Premier, the Mayor of Toronto, Bill & Melinda Gates, Alicia Keys, and Richard Gere (okay, now I’m just shamelessly name dropping). But it was a good party, so I have to gloat a bit… also on stage was Amanda Marshall, Blue Man Group, Chantal Kreviazuk, and Our Lady Peace. Okay, Okay… the name dropping is over.

I am sad to say that I cannot drop the name of our Prime Minister who apparently had more important things to do than address those committed souls who lead the way in solving the greatest health threat the world has ever know. You might have sensed some bitterness in this previous sentence. Personally, I find it embarrassing that we are hosting such a massive event and the Prime Minister does not have the conviction to attend. The Canadian delegates have made it clear that they are not happy about this; there have been consistently negative reactions whenever Mr. Harper’s name is distastefully ejected from the lips of speakers and social advocates.

So I had a big day today with rallies, forums, and wandering through booths that international organizations have set up. I am trying to pace myself though, because it would be easy to try to take in too much and burn out quickly. I am incredibly lucky to be here; I have pledged to make the most of it.

Goodnight Toronto, peaceful dreams.




Some buzz words/concepts that are immerging:

Stigmatization: refers to harsh disapproval of a behaviour or identity category that goes against a cultural norm or is perceived as deviant; stigma is linked to marginalization and ostricization. In the context of HIV/AIDS it is important to consider the realities that populations, who are vulnerable to the disease, are faced with. For example, if a sex worker is rejected by society how will this affect his/her abilities to make healthier sexual choices?

Microbicides: cutting edge preventative treatment for woman. A microbicide is a gel that a woman can insert in her vagina to kill foreign bacteria and viruses, including the HIV virus. Most microbicides are in the clinical testing stages, but many researchers and community workers believe that this is the future of HIV prevention. (I hope to make it to a lecture regarding this subject, as it is new information for myself).

Indivisibililty: a matrix approach to the concept of Human Rights, stating that it is impossible to separate the holistic reality of human rights… in regards to health, gender, religious, emotional, sexual rights, etc. Thos who are living with HIV have a right to be sexual.

ABC Model of Prevention:

Abstinence

Be Faithful

Condoms (use them)

This is the brainchild of the Bush Administration and is receiving much criticism from delegates (and rightfully so, in my option). Prevention models that stress abstinence are problematic in the fact that they ignore the innate human tendency to have sex. We like sex. We are going to have sex. Sex is not evil. Let’s be a bit more progressive with our prevention techniques.

En Route to Education... The XVI International AIDS Conference

I am currently on a train somewhere south of Kingston, en route to the Toronto International AIDS Conference. I am about to embark upon a week of workshops, protests, dialogues, and network building- all in regards to the global pandemic of HIV/AIDS. It is a professional and intellectual forum to the likes of which I have never engaged. I am both nervous and excited.

To give a little background information, my involvement in HIV/AIDS community work began three years ago when I moved to Montreal. I had known that I wanted to be involved with a movement to curtail the transmission of this virus; yet I was unsure where to begin. How does one just become a part of a movement? The answer was in the proverbial saying:

Think Globally. Act Locally.

So I found a community organization where I could volunteer my time (AIDS Community Care Montreal). I received training in support services: active listening, harm reduction, and managing depression. Throughout the following years, I spent time at the ACCM Drop-In Center, as well as volunteering one-on-one with clients who requested social support. I have had some very formative experiences and have been connected to a community of prevention and support; including meeting people who have become amazing friends.

Yet, it is easy for me to feel powerless in this “battle” of global proportions. The David and Goliath analogy would be sadly understating the massive beast that I would love to slay. But thankfully it’s not just me throwing stones at AIDS; there is a global community of affected and inspired leaders who have been fighting for the past two decades.

It is the silver lining- AIDS connects people.

This week I will have the privilege of listening to these leaders, asking them questions, and learning about their losses and triumphs. It is my hope that, throughout the coming years, I can help carry forward the momentum in which they have created. That I can be of service, and then as I gain knowledge and experience, I may be a source of education or leadership for others. It is about fitting myself into the system of prevention and support.

So as I try to take in as much information over the next week as humanly possible, I will also try to share what I am experiencing. I am making myself a point of access to those who are not able to attend the conference. So if you have questions in regards to HIV/AIDS, both locally or globally, feel free to ask (you can post in the comments section, with your name or anonymously). If I don’t have an answer, then I will keep asking until I get one. And if you don’t have a question, then keep your ears opened to the news that is coming from the conference. The world currently has its eyes on Toronto; it’s the perfect opportunity to learn about the biggest health issue of our time.

Adventures in Wireless

So before the summer ends and I lose track of all the crazy adventures I've had this summer, I just wanted to share one of the "special moments" from my road trip this summer.

The scene is in suburban North Dakota on a cloudy Tuesday afternoon, as three ambitious Canadians try to steal wireless access from the unsuspecting Americans. I managed to post a blog (see "One Night in Fargo", June 13th) and send out some emails before the unexpected happened...

Anyway, hope you get a chuckle.

Let the games be remembered...

(sigh...)

What a week I have had.

The OutGames has been amazing and entertaining and heartwarming and draining and fun. The opening ceremonies was a blast, it was an intense and emotional experience to be entering the Montreal Olympic Stadium with 10 000 athletes and artists from 111 different countries. Also a privilege to be part of the "hometown" contingent of Team Montreal... there were loud cheers from us proud queers.

My sport was volleyball. We played hard and placed 5th out of 16 teams. There were teams from Brazil, Thailand, Mexico, Denmark, and many other countries competing. Volleyball was fun to play because you get to know the different teams, however it did leave me cooped up in a gym for 3 days... so when it wrapped up I was excited to check out some of the other sporting events such as badminton, basketball, soccer, and beach volleyball.

It was a pleasure to see people being awared their medals. To hear of stories of triumph and participation, to see the crowd cheering on the last man to cross the finish line of the men's 65 and older 1500 m race. The games were about participating, and there was a sense in the air that everyone had already won.

The week was made more pleasurable by having my house full of loved ones from the west. Tim came out from Prince George to play volleyball in the games (our teams played against each other in an epic battle... ending in a tie... which was healthy for our relationship), while Lisa & Ryan came out from Victoria to enjoy the Montreal summer, to cheer us on, and to help stalk Leonard Cohen from my balcony. One of my fondest memories of the week will be dressing up and heading down to the pride parade (see photo below). People actually came up to us to take our photos.

So now it is a quiet Monday night and I am thinking about heading to bed... I am still recooperating from lack of sleep and high emotions. But I am also feeling confused on how to process such an incredible and intense experience. How does one transition back into "everyday life" after such a unique and powerful experience?

I don't have the answer to this yet, but I know that I will be going back over the photos and the memories for a while... here are some pic's of the games. Included is the opening ceremonies, the badminton crowds, Ryan & myself with a drag queen, and my good friends Hil & Suzie on the podium after their 1st/2nd place in the womens 4 km cross-country race!