Thursday, July 27, 2006

Let the games begin!




I am on the eve of a deliciously exciting week here in Montreal. The first ever World OutGames kicks off on the weekend with the opening ceremonies on Saturday night (featuring Cirque du Soleil, KD Lang, Martha Walsh, and more). The OutGames consist of a conference on Human Rights, numerous sporting competitions, as well as cultural events (such as dance and choral). It is an opportunity to bring people together, to gain media attention for gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered rights, to engage in sport, to enjoy the many shows that are taking place.

Here is an exerpt from the OutGames website:

Based on the principles of Participation and Celebration, Respect and Fairness, Innovation, Diversity and Empowerment (PRIDE), the games welcome everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, age, gender, race, religion, nationality, ethnicity, physical challenge, political beliefs, physical ability, athletic/artistic skills or HIV/ health status. There are no minimum athletic standards to qualify for the Outgames. People with specific needs or disabilities are integrated as full-fledged participants, volunteers, officials and spectators.


For myself, this week will serve as a celebration of sorts. I have come a long way from that 17 year old boy with a secret and no way of expressing himself. I know what it means to feel isolated, I know how it feels to be called a "fag", and I know that the process to feeling comfortable in my own skin has been somewhat tumultuous.

These days, I know how it feels to have community, to feel loved, and to feel proud. I am extremely blessed to be able to be accepted and supported by my family, friends, and a nation that is on the forefront of non-heterosexual rights. This week I celebrate the transition from isolation to community, from self-confused to self-connected, and from shame to pride.

It still brings tears to my eyes... and I hope it always will.

Thanks for being a part of my process.

Dan



Sunday, July 23, 2006

Upon My Second Pillow

I discovered last night
that I have been sharing my bed
with a centipede.

When the lights go dim,
he crawls upon my second pillow
resting his laggard legs
(after a day of dodging dust bunnies
beneath my boxspring)

I haven't the heart
to ask him to find a new flat.

For if I were a centipede,
I would find it terribly tedious
to pull up my one hundred socks
and take on the day.



Monday, July 17, 2006

letting the thunder be

"Thunder is the sound of the shockwave caused during a thunderstorm when lightning rapidly heats and expands the air in and directly around the lightning channel (bolt) into plasma, producing acoustic shock waves in the atmosphere identified as thunder. It is said that the air is heated up to 30 000 °C (54 000 °F)."

-Wikipedia



Tonight I sit in my apartment as a rainstorm cools the hot summer heat. It has been a balmy 39 C in Montréal (with the humidity factor), and I have spent the past couple days in my un-airconditioned apartment toying with insanity. The trick to survival is to make peace with stickiness, to keep the drinking glasses in the freezer, and to take two cold showers a day.

So the thunderstorm is a welcomed respite from the heat.

I am fascinated by the grandeur of thunder. I love its magnitude, its unappologetic presence, and the way a good crack of thunder can be felt inside of my chest. I am reminded of my littleness when a dramatic storm rolls through my structured days. I have no control over the lightning and thunder; it is refreshing to step back and indulge in the powerlessness of the moment.

I can't say that I fully understand how thunder occurs, despite the brief definition above... and I feel content in not-knowing. It is something that I prefer to keep mysterious. Somethings affect us which require refection and processing , while others we need not analyze. I will enjoy the thunder and let it be.


* * * *

Non-thunderous things that have rocked my world in the past couple of months:


SONG: "Take the Long Way" by Po'Girl (out of Vancouver)... sweet harmonies, dizzying heights, and a call for taking time to see the moon. Beautiful. (Thanks for the introduction Rachel)

MOVIE: "Crash" by Canada's own Paul Haggis. Definitely worth the hype, and a deserving Oscar win. I appreciated how each charater was a villain and a hero in his or her own way... outlined a personal core belief: there are no winners when it comes to racism.

BOOK: "Written on the Body" by Jeanette Winterson. Part novel, part prose, heavily romantic, achingly tragic.


"Written on the body is a secret code only visible in certain lights; the accumulations of a lifetime gather there. In places the palimpsest is so heavily worked that the letters feel like braille"


PLACE: Montana, USA. I cannot argue with its shear beauty... from winding rivers, to golden prairies, to the continental divide. I want to go back and explore.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Notes from 3000 meters

I am currently a few thousand meters above Cranbrook, BC, moving faster than the speed of sound, and enjoying the way the slow sinking western sun is reflecting off of the Rocky Mountains. That’s right, I am on an airplane (seat 16F, a window beside the emergency exit), heading back to Montreal - my home away from home.

I don’t really get the whole "flying" thing. My semi-functional brain has yet to fully comprehend how it is possible for a one-hundred ton mix of steal, rubber, fuel, and flesh can hurl through the atmosphere at 400 km/hour, and then I can walk away intact with little more than a small jet-lag haziness and a minor case of flatulence. It is a miracle that shan’t cease to amaze me.

Some people love flying; I however accept my inevitable death each time I am sitting on the tarmac waiting for take-off. Usually, I take stock of my life, my family, and my dreams, and then take a deep breath and say, “well I didn’t get to drop acid while walking barefoot through India… but it’s been a good 25 years”. Twenty minutes later, after checking my pulse and reminding myself of my student loan debt, the pain of life sinks back in and I realize that indeed I am still alive. As such, you have been graced with/subjected to another rambling blog.



I am, however, a lover of airports: the hustle, the bustle, the bittersweet goodbyes, and the excitement of arriving. Often, I will show up early just to watch people coming and going, to wander through the bookshops, and to treat myself to a fine airport dining experience. “Today’s Special” was the Swiss Vegetarian soy-burger, served with lightly seasoned Yukon potatoes, and a carbonized cane-sugar lemon water (aka: Combo #7 with Sprite at A&W’s). Airports are a place of transition, and I love the thought of thousands of people randomly being in the same place, at the same time.

It is combination of souls that will exist only for a moment in eternity…

* * * *
(Three minutes later, after a quick trip to the lavatory…)

Have you ever wondered what happens to the urine when you flush in an airplane? The sound kind of freaks me out, like it’s being sucked out into the sky. Hmmm… just something to think about.


* * * *

So this morning I was a west-coaster, I went jogging around Vancouver’s Stanley Park, and then topped off with a fresh-fruit smoothie. Tonight I will become, again, un Montrealais, sip red wine on my rooftop overlooking “the Main”, and perhaps sing a slow movin’ country song. I am lucky to be a transnational Canadian, that I am able to enjoy the best of two great worlds.

So even if this plane should go down in a great inferno over a Great Lake, I will be grateful that I have had the time to see family, to be romantic, to have adventure, and to know that I have urinated on some of the highest mountains in the world.



Good-bye BC, I’ll see you soon.

Friday, July 07, 2006

The Lakes are Calling

Sometimes the best adventures are in our own backyards.

In the backyard of Prince George is one of the most famous canoe circuits in the world. It is called Bowron Lake Provincial Park and consists of six or seven clean, crisp lakes closely linked in a rectangular-like loop of jaw-droppingly beautiful scenery. It’s a paddler’s wet(suit) dream…

Yes, it is in my backyard, and embarrassingly I have yet to conquer the circuit, yet to complete my bushman’s rite of passage, yet to sacrifice my sweet city-boy blood to the hungry swarms of black flies.

However on Sunday, for the first time in twenty odd years, I went up to the Bowron Lakes with Tim to have a little peak around (I was told by my mother that we went camping there as a family, many years ago… however, we did not do the 7-day canoe circuit).

Tim and I brought a tent and spent 24 hours exploring the area: we hiked, swam in the cool water, canoed for a couple hours, and drank a couple beer in the lodge overlooking the lake. As well, we were treated to some special outdoor treats: a momma Grizzly bear with three cubs, a star-lit sky with satellites drifting by, and a dramatic rainstorm (which we narrowly escaped). It was quick breath of adventure and nature.

I was happy to get to see the area, but sad that I had such little time… as such, I have set a goal to take the time to paddle the circuit within the next five years.

In my previous posts, I have written about the desire for travel and adventure. In fact I advised you to get out there and add new stamps to your passport. For myself, the Bowron Lakes are a perfect example of not needing to go far to find beauty and adventure. In my own backyard there is an adventure waiting to happen, and I am looking forward to stepping up the challenge!

I hope you find some adventure your own backyard!


Tuesday, July 04, 2006

A Letter

Re: Comments left on the most recent post "On Romanticism"


Dear Non-Gender Identified Anonymous Commentator,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You are obviously well versed in critical thinking, and I have a deep respect for that. It is my hope that the readers of this blog were not offended by me attaching a gender to romance.

I chose a feminine gender because, for myself, romance has been soft, graceful, and beautiful. In the context of my life, these traits have come more frequently from women. I also chose to gender romance because it simply sounds more poetic, and helped to create a romantic tone to the blog in which I was writing. My goal was to elict romantic notions from my readers, and to a certain degree I felt like I had failed when reading your comments. Romance is something that I value and I wanted to share this with those who I care about.

I realize some implications of attaching gender to concepts and ideas (example: perpetuating a problematic bianary system), and I accept full implications of this. To me, romance is indeed practical in many ways, for instance, it helps me enjoy life.

As for my suggestions on how to lead a romantic life being "intrenched in privilege", in some ways I agree with you and in other ways I am surprised that these suggestions were not interpreted as the metaphors in which they were intended. To "get new stamps on your passport" is simply a way of advising one to travel, to step out of familiar territory, to observe other ways of life. This could mean having lunch in a different part of town or walking a different way home from work/school.

Also, I think that you have interpreted the word "home" as simply as structure with walls and a roof. For myself, "home" includes all the people that share the space, the emotions that are elicited, and the experiences that are created. To be able to think about ideas of romance, creating a home and traveling is indeed a privilege, I agree with you. I also believe that dreaming beyond my current socioeconomic status, academic limitations, or spiritual plains will help me, not only be romantic, but also to envision a future of growth and actualization on various personal levels.

It felt like your comments were coming from a discourse that is a part of why romance seems so distant in my culture. Personally, I am torn between the value of critical thinking and dissection versus the value of letting myself be un-analytical and being more present. At what point do I allow myself to be romantic? to be analytical? Is it possible to do both at the same time? I felt like your comments had succeeded to un-romanticize that which I had just written.

I am a bit disappointed that you chose to remain anonymous, however grateful that you took the time to challenge and share your thoughts. I love the suggestion of "enjoying what you have", for me, it is a romantic notion to see myself one day feeling completely balanced and needless. Enjoying what I have now is a great place to start.

So thanks, it was refreshing to be stimulated :)

Sincerely,


Daniel