Surviving (and thriving) on $12,000 a year

This was an interesting article found on the Sympatico website about a woman who has returned to university at the age of 48, and how she does it financially. It's a testament to our abilities to survive with less.



By Donna Freedman

November 23, 2007

I'll be living on just over $1,000 a month this year. That doesn't sound like much -- and it isn't -- yet I plan not just to live on it, but to build a savings account.

My 2007 "income," the money I can actually count on, will be $12,084. I know this because it consists of alimony and a portion of a school grant. (I went back to school last year; the grant covers tuition and books with a little left over.) I already know my big-ticket annual costs, too: rent of $6,300 and $1,200 for car insurance. Subtract these from my income and I'm left with $382 a month for food, utilities, clothes, medical deductibles and co-pays, gasoline, renter's and life insurance and any help I give my daughter, who lives on even less than I do.

Make no mistake: I'm poor by choice, because I needed to change my life. I chose to leave my marriage, and I chose to become a student. I can live this way because I know it won't be forever. I'll have my degree in two more years, and I'll go back to work.

I survive on economies large and small. I bring my laundry to baby-sitting jobs (yes, I ask permission). I brown-bag my lunch every single day. I combine coupons and rebates to get items for free (I haven't paid for toothpaste, shampoo or other toiletries for years). I drink water, not soda.

But in order to thrive, you have to hustle, too, always looking for ways to save a dime or to make one. I exchange spent ink cartridges for reams of printer paper at Office Max. Whenever I see a candy dish, I put a piece in my coat pocket; if my energy flags midday, those toffees and peppermints keep me from buying snacks. After I won a basket of specialty coffees at a school event, I immediately sold it on Craigslist.org; I sold a "free after rebate" phone that way, too.

If you've never been really broke, all these desperate little economies might seem silly. You're probably thinking, "Why not have a soda? It's only a dollar." Because I've got just 382 of those dollars each month, that's why, and those dollars have other places to go. The insurance runs out in May and I'll need to get student insurance, at $389 per quarter. The car needs a 60,000-mile check-up. My share of a dental crown is going to be $486; I will ask for a discount if I pay in cash.

Jill of all trades
Last year I survived on a number of here-and-there gigs: freelance writing, work-study, baby-sitting, mystery shopping, resident manager (read: janitor and handyma'am) of my apartment building, paid medical research and writing for the community-college newspaper. (I was the oldest living cub reporter.)

There was little downtime; when I wasn't working I was studying, doing homework or writing papers. And I was perpetually weary and frequently ill all year long. Fact of life: A 48-year-old college student simply doesn't have the energy of an 18-year-old college student.

This year I'm dumping most of the part-time gigs. I'll still freelance and baby-sit, but very selectively. My new school means tough classes, a long bus commute and lots of reading and studying. More to the point, it's a great opportunity, and I'd like to take full advantage. So I'm choosing to work less in 2007, focusing instead on getting healthy and getting my education.

That means careful money management and a fair amount of sacrifice. I'm willing to do both. As a freelance writer and recent divorcee, I'm accustomed to lean living. Here are some of the mantras that have kept me going thus far:

It's not what I have, but how much of it I can keep. To paraphrase Ben Franklin, every dollar I don't spend is a dollar I have earned. So when I think I need something, I ask, "Can I do without this?" Often I find I can. If I can't, then my next question is...

How can I get it free, or almost free? The obvious answers are sites like Craigslist.org and thrift shops, especially ones like Value Village that offer coupons and half-off sales. My 99-cent clock-radio wakes me up every morning just as efficiently as a high-tech alarm from The Sharper Image. Rummage sales are swell, too; my church has an annual sale called "Superfluity" (I love that name) at which I bought my desk for $4 and a small chest of drawers for $1. I also buy Christmas and birthday gifts at Superfluity and an annual "500-family" rummage sale. No one has to know that that hardback bestseller under the tree cost you only 50 cents.

Enough is as good as a feast. I love to eat. I don't love paying for it. Because I don't have a "regular" job of at least 20 hours a week, I don't qualify for food stamps. So I shop very, very carefully, and I go to the food bank. Most weeks I can count on potatoes, apples, bread and a can or two of vegetables. Some lucky weeks I get milk, orange juice, pasta, tomatoes, rice or a small package of meat. I cook a lot of beans and stews, and I'm adequately fed -- maybe not as richly or as conveniently as I'd like, but well enough to keep me going.

Every day is casual Friday! When my jeans are in tatters I buy a "new" pair at Value Village (one pair cost me just $1.63, and it was new -- still had the department-store tags on it). I spend $15 or less on running shoes from clearance tables. I've bought a couple of thrift-store tops, but mostly get by with shirts I've had for ages. (Hint: The clothes dryer takes years off the life of your duds. Get a drying rack.) Some days I wish I looked nicer. Most days it doesn't bother me, and I doubt it'll bother anyone else, since students at my school have been known to wear flannel PJs to class. Bonus: When you dress the way I do, panhandlers hardly ever ask you for money.

Announce my intentions. Time and again I have found that when I need something I should "put it out in the universe," which is also known as "prayer." One night last fall, squinting over my homework, I realized I needed more light in the apartment. A day later, a halogen floor lamp landed in the Dumpster outside my window. Recently my umbrella got cranky about opening. The next week I was given a high-quality bumbershoot as a thank-you gift for helping with a campus blood drive. Coincidences? Maybe.

$20 to feel rich
I've decided to increase my monthly church tithe to $20. Sure, I could use that extra $240 a year. It just about equals the university registration fee, or the money I promised my daughter toward the price of her wedding dress. It also represents almost half of the car insurance premium heading my way in April.

But giving that money away makes me feel rich. No matter how straitened my circumstances, I can be a part of services the church provides for the homeless, the impoverished elderly and those living with AIDS. In other words, tithing reminds me that there are lots of people worse off than me, people who'd love to have my so-called "problems."

That's not to say that I wouldn't like to have more cash. It would allow me to help my daughter, to secure my future, to buy more roasts and fewer pinto beans. But I figure I won the cosmic lottery just by being born here, a country where I can not only work on a degree at age 48, but also find scholarships and education grants to help me pay for it. I have a roof over my head, food every day, family and friends, and occasionally even a $10 student ticket to the symphony. Some days I feel like the luckiest person in the world.

If I really am lucky, then I'll make it through 2007 with a positive bank balance. Check back with me next December and I'll let you know how I did.

Analogies and metaphors

Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their
collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays
in order to have them published and sent out for the amusement of other
teachers across the country. Here are some recent winners:


1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides
gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled around inside his head, making and breaking
alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the kind of wisdom that can only come from experience,
like a guy who goes blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without
one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse
without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like the sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge
at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled
with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots
when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling west at 55 mph, the other from
Topeka at 4:19 p.m. traveling east at a speed of 35 mph.

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Ninja Parade

[the little spruce tree] is addicted to "The Onion News Network"...


Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

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tree|plugs

and now, some good stuff...


[heard] Verve//Remixed (Deluxe Box). What happened when hipster DJs take on standard classics in the world of Jazz and Blues? Well some traditionalists cried, “sacrilege!” But while they were busy crying over their tired sax licks, the rest of us were grooving to amazing new approaches to mixing and sexy beats that saw our hips gyrating. Is there is a better way to honour the great voices of jazz (think Ella Fitzgerald, Nina Simone, Billie Holiday, and more) than to breathe fresh life into their contributions to music history? I think not.

Check out any of the three Verve//Remixed albums, or by the Deluxe Box if you want to marinate in the wonderfulness of it all.



[read] The Walrus. Sometimes Wikipedia can sum it up best...

The Walrus is a Canadian general interest magazine which publishes long form journalism on Canadian and international affairs, along with fiction and poetry by Canadian writers. It launched in September 2003, as an attempt to create a Canadian equivalent to American magazines such as Harper's, The Atlantic Monthly or The New Yorker. The magazine's mandate is to "be a Canadian general-interest magazine with an international outlook. We are committed to publishing the best work by the best writers from Canada and elsewhere on a wide range of topics for readers who are curious about the world."

I like it because of the great stories, photos, and because it inspires me to keep writing.



[seen] Into the Wild (Director Sean Penn, based on the novel by Jon Krakauer)

"In April 1992, a young man from a well-to-do family hitchhiked to Alaska and walked alone into the wilderness north of Mt. McKinley. His name was Christopher Johnson McCandless. He had given $25,000 in savings to charity, abandoned his car and most of his possessions, burned all the cash in his wallet, and invented a new life for himself. Four months later, his decomposed body was found by a moose hunter…"

-Jon Krakauer

Definitely one of my top five movies thus far in 2007, Into the Wild takes us on a journey of material and social renunciation, as well as an exploration of human limits. We are left with a precious lesson presented delicately rather than moralistically: we are nothing without each other.

If you have ever dreamed of exploring physical, mental, and spiritual boundaries, if you have ever dreamed of adventure, if you have ever dreamed of running away… then I recommend you run to see this movie.

Watch the “Into the Wild” trailer...



[experienced] Rubber boots. Also known as “Wellies” or “gumboots”, weather-friendly boots were worn and popularized in the early 19th century by British aristocracy and gained popularity for those working in wet weather conditions. These days, not just for farmers, rubber boots are worn by anyone who enjoys functionality and cuteness. With multiple daring designs available, rubber boots have become a key fashion accessory on a wet day.

The only problem is that they have limited selection when it comes to funky and fun boots for boys. But don’t worry my male wet-footed friends, the forecast calls for an increase in options as they become more and more popular.

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The Devil Came on Horseback

The Devil Came on Horseback is a documentary film about the continuing Darfur Conflict in Sudan. It had its première at film festivals in early and mid-2007. This film documents former U.S. Marine Captain Brian Steidle, who is an unarmed military observer with the African Union. He is there with only a camera, a pad of paper and a pen.

I had the opportunity to see the film last Monday evening at Concordia's Cinema Politica. It is a chilling movie, not for the faint of heart. Ultimately I'm glad I got to see it because it has given me a context of the Darfur conflict, which I knew little about before seeing the film.

But why should we care? Well I certainly can't make you care. But if appropriate action is taken, then we can avoid further cultural genocide. I guess for me it starts with educating myself on the various political and conflictual situations occurring on our planet. Then we can use our voices to spread the word.

Today this blog shall be my voice.


Watch the trailer...

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June Callwood (1924-2007)

June Rose Callwood, (June 2, 1924 – April 14, 2007) was a Canadian journalist, author and social activist. Her life was unique, as was her death. Check out an article that she wrote for The Walrus entitled "Forgiveness". Even more impressive was her interview on CBC's The Hour just shortly before her death.



Forgiveness
By June Callwood


A small boy in an industrial city in Ontario was beaten severely many times by his father, to the extent that the boy not infrequently required a doctor to stitch up the wounds. His father, a policeman, sincerely believed that if he beat his son with chains, belts, sticks, and his fists, the boy would not grow up to be gay. That boy, now in his thirties and indelibly a gay man, says he will never forgive his father.

“What he did is not forgivable,” the man says with composure. “How can it ever be all right to abuse a child? But I have let it go.”

And a woman, raised on the Prairies in a Finnish home, married a black man and had a son. She showed the infant proudly to her mother, whose reaction was a look of naked disgust. Her mother and that son, now a charming and successful adult, have since developed an affectionate relationship, but the daughter has not forgotten or forgiven the expression on her mother’s face. "The best I can do,” she says, “is that I have stopped hating her.”

The ability to forgive is a central tenet of every major religion in the world — Christian, Judaic, Hindu, Buddhist, and Islamic. Those faiths urge followers to forgive their enemies and, indeed, even to find a way to love those who wrong them. As the twenty-first century dawns, however, the world is making a spectacular mess of such pious admonitions. Instead of goodwill, this is the age of anger, the polar opposite of forgiveness. Merciless ethnic, tribal, and religious conflicts dominate every corner of the planet, and in North America individuals live with high levels of wrath that explode as domestic brutality, road rage, vile epithets, and acts of random slaughter.

Many people, like the gay man or the woman in a biracial marriage, find forgiveness an unreasonable dictate. Some assaults on the body or soul are unconscionable, they feel, and forgiveness is simply out of the question. It satisfies the requirements of their humanity that they gradually ease away from the primitive thoughts of revenge that once obsessed them...


Keep reading...

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In 2004, June Callwood was diagnosed with inoperable cancer and refused chemotherapy. "I'm in good shape," she said at the time, "I've lived a long time..."

Click here to watch the heartfelt CBC inverview

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Pretty Big Dig

This is an exquisite treat. Filmmaker, Anne Troake, has created a short piece that blends the lines of dance, choreography, music, and industrialism. You have to see it to believe it.

Take me there...

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ascent magazine

Check out the latest issue of ascent magazine (issue 35) for some interesting articles on gender & sexuality. The following links have excerpts from the articles of the print edition... if you like what you seen, then I definitely recommend getting yourself a copy!


being present with desire
In his struggles with the Buddha’s teachings on celibacy, Noah Levine explores how sexuality can be a teacher rather than a tormentor.

opening out
Lesbian-feminist author & Tibetan Buddhist Daphne Marlatt shares her thoughts about transcending gender in spiritual life. Interview by Roseanne Harvey.

something about Mary
Joanna Manning is a former Catholic nun whose opinions about Mary Magdalene, the Church & sexuality are both inspiring & controversial. Talya Rubin investigates.

flights of pleasure
Eileen Delehanty Pearkes takes brahmacarya out of the ashram & into the world

the union of heaven & earth
Can a hatha yoga practice teach us about intimacy & relationships? By Mark Whitwell

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Re: Drag queens not included... or why I'm sort of a bastard

A friend (and mentor), Terry Kyle, had an ambitious and personal response to the last article. Here's what she had to say:

Understanding parts of who I am doesn’t mean changing who I am….. in more than one sentence:-}

There is something ultimately self arrogant and self-pitying for me in this whole process that defies me. I am a bit sick of, or rather from it. The desire to change is one thing, but my image of what I thought I wanted to ultimately ‘turn into’, makes me ill to discover. Do I really think I have to measure up to something? Something that is out there outside of me? Do I really think that just being a mortal and doing my best is not enough? Yes, I want to be the best "I", and I mean capital "I", can be. Not some image of perfection that I have assumed through socialization. So, I feel like telling myself, “Get over it, get real”. This is you woman so get on with it.

Be real! Fuck up, get up, and get on with it.

This is easily said, but some yucky truth embedded in this analysis is the whiny voice, ‘poor me, come please, Prince(ss) What-Ever, please save me for I try so hard!”. Pouff, back to the fairytale I am led… "Well, who makes me poorer than me?", I ask of this image I take on. I am weighted by this self-centered image and welcome ideas of empathy, support, caring, and compassion, community, or so I hope…

There goes the discovery of my mental models. They do not charm me, but yet I am attached. Without knowing, I somehow transformed my outward defensiveness towards inward defensiveness about maintaining those ugly things! Oh no, they are part of who I am – Hello Terry, gulp, and that is okay. Acceptance, I ask? Well, trying to murder or disassociate myself from them has not worked well in the past.

I guess, well [actually I] know, that I must give my lovely funky gifted, imperfect soul a break and say hurray for where I am and where I have come and cheers to all the hope, faith, hard work and compassion I can muster in the world on the rest of my journey with us.

Gosh, it is hard to see the ground or the sky from such a self-centered position.

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Drag queens not included... or why I'm sort of a bastard

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For someone who’s supposed to be benevolent, I’m sort of a bastard.

The thing is, I am a judger. I am constantly forming opinions of people upon superficial qualities. I am assessing, deliberating, and drawing conclusions based on limited information. I wield these personal opinions and evaluations like a samurai fighting a gaggle of military aristocracy – sometimes stealth and subversive, sometimes explicit and confrontational. My judgments are often deadly, and sometimes the innocent fall victim to my condemning sword. But I was not always like this.

As a youngster I received many messages saying, “Never judge a book by its cover” and “Walk a mile in another person’s shoes”, and for years I aspired to embody nonjudgmental behaviour. I would scold my parents anything remotely resembling a generalization, and I would play devils advocate whenever I heard friends make unfair comments. For instance, “Maybe the guy driving the Hummer cut you off because he’s racing to the hospital to see his mother who only has minutes left to live after impaling herself during a freaky quilting accident. Did you ever consider that?”

In my quest to exemplify “nonjudgmentalism”, I would challenge and argue and advocate for the person who (for whichever reason) could not be there to defend for his or her self. How did I become such an eager ally to people I did not know? How did I not end up in Law School? Or more importantly, how the hell did I get so self-righteous?

As I transferred into my twenties, I increasingly became involved in my communities, where the primary prerequisite to any volunteer positions was the art of nonjudgmentalism. I would align myself with an organization (and its mission) to provide a service that improves the livelihoods of clients. The “Harm-Reduction” model implies (amoung other things) that I can’t reduce the transmission of HIV if I judge the choices of injection drug users. I can’t help single, teenage mothers if I am criticizing their behaviour. I learned that if I wanted to be of service to my world, I’d have to retire my judgments.

But I’ve come out of retirement.

Although I still enjoy a good argument (as I did when I was a kid) and I definitely believe in a Harm-Reduction model of prevention, these days I often catch myself making potentially dangerous judgments that teeter between careful consideration and uninformed opinion. It is a very thin line, I’ve discovered.

For example, we had a guest speaker recently in one of my classes. Within seconds I had dismissed the credibility of this person based primarily upon the way she presented herself stylistically. She wore a purple dress suit, cut high above her knees, with shoulder pads and gold jewelry (circa 1983). Her face was painted thick with make-up, while her hair was dyed and spiked, like she had stepped out of a wind tunnel. Plainly stated, I thought she was tacky and out of touch with any sort of reality of which I was familiar. I quickly inferred that we would have conflicting values; it was a judgment based upon superficial attributes.

In theory, I would be open to what she was saying. Instead I found myself blocked by my own perceptions and proceeded to tune out completely. The voice of a younger version of myself now creeps into my head and says, “Daniel, perhaps this woman could have taught you something, if only you would have paid attention”. At which point I respond and say, “But did you see her eye-shadow? How could I possibly trust someone like that (Drag queens not included)?” Perhaps I could have learned something from this woman, but now I’ll never know.

Although I still value a nonjudgmental approach to living my life, I also believe in the importance of critical thinking. Yet these concepts border on being conflicting values. Don’t I need to make some basic judgments if I am going to be critical? How would I critique art or society (or beer) if I did not make basic judgments? How does being evaluative or critical differ from being judgmental?

I guess the most important thing for me is to consider, is how much information I have for my judgments or evaluations. What is the basis of my judgments before I start getting all Zatoichi on friends and family? Do I have enough data to form a fair opinion on the strangers I meet everyday? Recognizing my levels of information, and making them explicit, before I unleash a judgment is a good place to start.

So heck, maybe I’m not such a bastard even if I do make judgments. Still, I think I’ll keep working on that “self-righteous” thing.

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What is "Canadian Cuisine"?

In honour of Thanksgiving, the CBC has posted some interesting video clips, compiled from over the years, all around the theme of Canadian Cuisine. Videos which explore foods such as poutine, doughnuts, fiddleheads, Nanaimo bars, Saskatoon Berry Pie, Canadian cheddar cheese, and maple syrup will leave you scratching your head in a national identity crisis. What is our culinary identity?

From the CBC Archives...

Is there such a thing as Canadian cuisine? The idea of ordering "Canadian" may have some scratching their heads. But Canada has given the world its share of gastronomic delights. From peameal bacon to poutine to pemmican, CBC Archives digs in to some distinctly homegrown fare.

See the videos...

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Clarifying a misconception...

Finally, the truth about the military's policy on homosexuals...


'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat,' Says General

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What are you looking for?

It's a crazy world out there... and I have proof. Due to advances in technology (and I'm not talking about the wheel here), I am able to monitor the activity of [the little spruce tree]. This includes access to data regarding how many people read the blog each day, the geographical location of readers and, my favourite, the "keyword" searches that have lead people to this blog.

Below is a list of what people (in the past two weeks) have typed into a search engine and then somehow found their way to this blog. Here's what you have been looking for:

• where do spruce trees come from
• place to watch people masterbate
• and one sweet day, we two shall meet max ehrman
• lisa baylis facebook
• how to sit alone or in a crowd observation
• in secret you admire goose's boots
• alberta story lyrics spruce
• buddhist monks masterbation
• freud and elephants

Thanks for finding [the little spruce tree]... errr, I think.

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[the little spruce tree] evolves

The newest feature of [the little spruce tree] is a last.fm playlist. It is a collection of tunes that provide a backdrop to your reading pleasures. It gives you the opportunity to discover a new song or artist. You are also able to load [the little spruce tree] playlist in a pop-up window and listen to all of the songs while you are working at your computer (ie: frolicking on Facebook)... just click the lower right hand of the last.fm icon on the side of this page!

Be sure to leave a comment if you find something that strikes a chord with you!

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And while you're here, make sure to vote for your favourite part of the blog... it's not just for show, it helps me understand what content is most popular.

I aim to please.

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The 100 Mile Diet

(Taken from 100milediet.org...)

When the average North American sits down to eat, each ingredient has typically travelled at least 1,500 miles—call it "the SUV diet." On the first day of spring, 2005, Alisa Smith and James MacKinnon (bios) chose to confront this unsettling statistic with a simple experiment. For one year, they would buy or gather their food and drink from within 100 miles of their apartment in Vancouver, British Columbia.

Since then, James and Alisa have gotten up-close-and-personal with issues ranging from the family-farm crisis to the environmental value of organic pears shipped across the globe. They've reconsidered vegetarianism and sunk their hands into community gardening. They've eaten a lot of potatoes.

Their 100-Mile Diet struck a deeper chord than anyone could have predicted. Within weeks, reprints of their blog at thetyee.ca had appeared on sites across the internet. Then came the media, from BBC Worldwide to Utne magazine. Dozens of individuals and grassroots groups have since launched their own 100-Mile Diet adventures. The need now is clear: a locus where 100-milers can get the information they need to try their own lifestyle experiments, and to exchange ideas and develop campaigns. That locus will be here at 100MileDiet.org—turning an idea into a movement.

Why eat Local? Click here for 13 lucky reasons...

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tree|plugs

Here is some stuff that has wowed my world...


[heard] Dragonette. This sprightly Canadian duo is making waves internationally with their infectious (of the good kind) smut-pop. With songs like “Take It Like A Man” and “Jesus Doesn’t Love Me Anymore”, you can’t help but feel a little bit of dirty down in your soul.

For even more lubricity or simply to increase your heart-rate, check out their sizzlin’ video for “I Get Around”.



[read] Eat, Love, Pray (Elizabeth Gilbert). Ms. Gilbert has essentially done what so many of us dream of doing – she packed her bags, traveled the world for a year, and then wrote a soulful (and bestselling) memoir of her trials, tribulations, and learning experiences. She had three main stops on her quest: pleasure in Italy, devotion in India, and balance in Indonesia. It is full of heart and humour, and might just be the catalyst you need to plan an adventure…







[seen] The Danish Poet (Torill Kove). This darling 15-minute tale took home the Oscar for Best Animated Short Film at this year’s Academy Awards last February. It was a joint venture between National Film Board of Canada and a Norwegian film company, but more aptly a joint venture between existentialism and adorable animation. It is a tale of happenstance, told by a young woman describing the meeting of her parents…

“But had it not been for the Danish poet and Sigrid Undset, a rainy summer in Norway, a slippery barn plank, a careless mailman, a hungry goat, a broken thumb, and a crowded train, my parents might never have met and who knows I might still be a little seed floating around in the sky waiting for someone to come and get me.”



[experienced] Alaska. I recently spent 4 weeks leading a group of teenagers on a community service tour up in “The Last Frontier” and I discovered that it’s true what they say - the summer sun doesn’t sleep in the north. The downside of the trip was that the northern lights were nowhere to be seen (due to all the daylight), the upside was the breathtakingly beautiful scenery: mountains, fjords, glaciers, rivers… and fish heads.

But Alaska was just a backdrop. The true experience was spending a month with 18 kick-ass teenagers who will undoubtedly continue to develop into honourable, wise, sensitive and humourous individuals that will have great impact on the world. It was a month of remembering the sensitivity, awkwardness, and potential of adolescence.

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Return to Innocence

Since we're all too special for words these days, maybe it's time we go back...




Should we return to a simpler, stone age lifestyle?

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I'm Special

Hello, my name is Daniel and I am special.

“And what makes you so frickin’ special?” you ask.

Well, I have countless reasons, really. For instance, I’ve these really hot sunglasses that make me look like a rockstar and, like, 200 friends on Facebook. Also, I’ve traveled to a bazillion countries and read, like, a jillion books. Plus, I can do this really freaky thing with my tongue and the guy that invented gobstoppers is my great uncle twice removed.

So obviously, I am precious.

Welcome to modern day North American culture where we are all so fucking special. We have (fake) designer hand bags and asymmetrical hairdos and cell-phones on which we loudly jabber away in public spaces. We are the starlets of reality television and the celebs of YouTube. We have coffee orders more complex than strands of DNA and personalized exercise regiments that involve “special” shakes, crunches, and lycra shorts. We have become embedded with the notion that we can do anything, have anything, and want everything. We have special needs created for us, and then have a special sense of entitlement to have them specially met.

We are in an era of Me-ism, where “specialness” is virtually synonymous with individuality or individualism. To achieve greatness in this culture, all we have to do is worship three important deities: me, myself, and I. Scholars have noted that persons in individualistic cultures are primarily motivated to serve their own interests. As such, personal success and achievement often trump societal or communal goals. But this little tidbit of information is more intrinsic than ground-breakingly academic.

Our post-modern thought processes might include many rationalizations of our actions: “Family? Are you kidding? I have a career to build” or “I can have that SUV because I deserve it (and because public transit is just so tedious)”. We are bombarded with choice and consumer “power”, and smart marketing strategies give the illusion that we are special. But are we?

In days of yore, it was a bit easier to be truly special. If you were literate, voila, you were special. If you were a woman with a beard, if you owned a parrot, or if you added a new element to the periodic table, then chances are you were pretty damn special. In fact, a couple of hundred years ago, one didn’t want to be too special or you might just be burnt as a witch. In current times, however, it’s pretty hot to be special.

So what makes people actually special these days?

It’s a tough question, but I have come up with some preliminary guesses. Courtesy, generosity and valor are special. People who hold doors open and give up seats on the bus are top notch in my books. In a world of glossy pop radio, Starbuck’s up sales, and botox expressions, I feel minor pulses of electricity surge through me when someone is sincerely pleasant with me. Initiative is pretty special. Those people who are actually engaged in doing what they love, whether it’s for themselves or their communities, have something uncommon going on. Finally, having a trade is special. A person who can make furniture or tailor clothes or fix an engine impresses me. It seems counter-intuitive how simple things have suddenly become special.

I think simplicity is the new special.

Of course, these are all my ideas of what is special, and the list is certainly not exhaustive. You may think my ideas to be boring or antiquated (and I might not disagree), but for each humanoid the concept of what is “special” is going to be personal. And, yes, I try to fit myself into that list whenever possible.

The truth is that I’m just your average university student trying to figure out what he’s doing with his life. Sometimes it helps to believe that I’m special, simply to ease an overwhelming message which is a byproduct of living in an individualist culture. The message reads like this: YOU are responsible for actualizing your own human potential and finding your own happiness. (Woah… why’d you have go all “Doctor Phil” on me?) Perhaps this sounds profound or sad or tiresome or even misinterpreted, but this is what I have learned - if it’s an individualistic culture, then I am individually responsible.

Yet whether you belief that or not, I still think we all want to feel special. Perhaps we even have a right to be special. So whether it’s your single-shot, decaf, tall, hazelnut latte or the fact that you can sing like Pavarotti, I guess we just need to choose carefully what will make us individuals… what will make us “special”.

Thanks for the music, Pavarotti... you were indeed special.

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[the little spruce tree]... teaser

[the little spruce tree] begins a new season in a matter of days.
Stay tuned for more introspective ramblings
and questionable attempts at humour.


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Where the hell is...?

Well summer has officially arrived (as of yesterday). Happy Solstice!

In regular Daniel fashion, summer brings a bit of travel, adventure, and work for me... currently, I'm over on the left coast getting ready to start a work contract in Alaska with a teen travel company.

In honour of adventure, here's a little clip of a man named Matt Harding who has made a name for himself as an adventurer, humourist, and jigger. Watching the video always makes me smile.



If you liked the clip, you can visit his website (wherethehellismatt.com) to find out more information on where he's been, how he's traveled, and where the hell he might be at the moment.

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Unfortunately, due to work commitments, I am not going to be able to provide a lot of new content for [the little spruce tree] in the coming weeks. So, I wanted to open the blog up to submissions from you! If you'd like to contribute something (a love song, a video, a story, a poem, a rant, whatever!), send it to me and I will post it as I go.

I would be honoured to receive your stuff!

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Virus

Here's a little something that I wrote a few years ago, and recently updated. It is interesting to go back to old things with fresh eyes. Perhaps I will come back to this in a few years and decide it needs updating.

One can hope.



Virus

We are an entertaining virus

We have taboos and hairdos
and plant trees in concrete spaces

We drink caffeine and paint our faces
and take ourselves too seriously

We speak in dialects and hand gestures
and hope that someone else will
spare some change

We bruise easily and forgive slowly
We want greatly and consume quickly

We are a productive plague.

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Yet I sit back and watch us eat away,
watch us spread.

And I try not to despair.

Instead I sit on benches
and observe
and hope
that by watching and learning

I could be part of a reparation.

Stretching out on a rock...

Hey spruce tree readers... I apologize for the lack of content lately. I was recently on vacation, and have since returned with a bit of a cold. Thus creative energies have been at a minimum. Feel free to send out some good vibes my way.

Anyway, in my attempt to get myself a bit more grounded, I decided to do some yoga at home. I was looking for some videos to inspire me. This one was lovely...





(inhale, exhale... this will keep me grounded)

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Literary Portrait #1: Alfred's Secret

I have decided to introduce a new feature to [the little spruce tree], it's called "Literary Portrait". One of life's simple pleasures is to sit and watch people, and I wanted to incorporate that experience of inquisitive observation into this space - to simulate the moment through words. I simply write what I am experiencing (thoughts, emotions, questions,etc) which is influenced by the interactions of the social space.

Let me know if you have any thoughts/reactions to it.



I have been here for nearly an hour. Sipping scalding Earl Grey, picking at a buttery croissant, and doing my best to absorb the information that my textbook dangles before me.

Then he enters.

A man of 80 years, perhaps. He looks like an "Alfred".

Alfred whistles along to the sad jazz music that plays as he takes of his snow covered boots and places on indoor shoes. He wears a gold watch and a ring on the right finger. There is something right about him. On his head sits a wool cap that is removed to reveal whispy white hair and a small bald area.

He is old, but seems joyful... and I am mesmerized by this.

Alfred speaks to me briefly in French, and I reply shyly with my limited skills, wishing that I could better honour his willingness to engage me. He tells me how lovely this space is; this cafe where funeral home and art gallery and library softly find a meeting point. Often there is death in the air, but Alfred seems to keep it at bay with unabashed life.

He walks to the back to speak with the girls who work here. The seem happy to humour him and exchange French words like free flowing traffic moving in opposite directions. He hovers there longer than socially appropriate, perhaps wanting to savour the interactions.

One of the girls brings a coffee to his seat, and he commences to hum again. The music from the stereo has stopped in the cafe and his quick tune fills the space. He sits, coffee sipping and flipping through his newspaper.

Alfred's face is long; time has pulled on his cheeks with indifference to any aspiration of maintaining youth.

The music recommences and Alfred adds more hot milk to his espresso. He sips and says, "C'est bon, le café". The newspaper rests at the crossword and he holds a pencil in his right hand while humming once more at the music.

I do my best not to stare, but I want to witness his moves. I want to soak in his ability to be alive. I want to ask him how he has maintained his spirit.

Alfred holds a secret.

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tree/plugs

Here´s what´s good in the world:


[heard] Mika. If you haven’t heard (and loved) Grace Kelly on the radio by now, then you are officially being diagnosed with the boring bug. Mika’s debut album, Life in Cartoon Motion, is sweeping through the land faster than herpes at a whorehouse.

In Billy Brown he sings about a married man falling “victim of the times”, poor Billy falls in love with another man. Mika gives a nod to fat girls everywhere in Big Girl (You are Beautiful), saying that ya’ll have “curves in all the right places”. He even gets a bit sentimental in Happy Ending, calling for a “little bit of love” for all of those who have been burnt by love. It’s campy, it’s light, it’s sassy, it’s fun, and it’s sugary pop perfection… just in time for summer.

I just want to pinch his cheek(s).


[read] Dwell. A magazine subscription is great because it guarantees that I will get at least one thing in the mail per month that is not a bill. A Dwell subscription is great because I get 100 pages of beautiful design (homes, appliances, art, and more), reviews of household products, and sustainable ideas to make my life functional and fabulous. The magazine is for those who appreciate good design but haven’t yet had the opportunity to go to art school; it is accessible, but tasteful.

Core values of the magazine include creating spaces and objects that are environmentally sustainable, that build community, and that are beautiful. I am converted. It’s time to start accepting the fact that we don’t have to compromise form and function… everything we buy should work wonderfully and look beautiful.

Now it’s up to us as consumers to demand this.



[seen] Shut Up and Sing. There is something about a sharp-tongued southern gal that makes my heart go pitter-patter. In the spring of 2003, Natalie Maines spitted out a phrase that would cause years of turmoil for The Dixie Chicks… “We’re ashamed that George Bush is from Texas”.

The filmmakers take us along a journey of intense pro-American backlash and the impact that Maines’ words had. Shown are three intelligent women who understand the music industry game they are playing, who have a sense of humour about their scenario, and who are willing to speak out for freedom of speech. It’s more than a documentary about a country band; it’s about standing up for what you believe in.

The Dixie Chicks, I believe in.



[experienced] Hedonism - the philosophy that focuses on increasing pleasure.

For the past month, I have been lucky to have some down time to recover from a hectic school year and enjoy a slower pace of life. I have watched movies, read a novel, practiced yoga, made a video, and spent leisurely hours with friends. It was basically about enjoying life and being good to myself.

Is it okay to pause? To take extended time for self? Is it a privilege or a right? Could we go as far as saying that self-indulgence could lead to enlightenment?

You tell me.

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"Society better get used to..."

Speaking of "deviant" sexual behaviour, the CBC Archives has some really amazing footage of a 1950's television special on homosexuality, as well as other footage throughout the past 50 years.

It is quite the marker of a cultural shift.

From the CBC Archives:

"It's 1959, and homosexuality is a topic few are willing to discuss. Like some of the people interviewed on the street in this CBC Television clip, many believe that homosexuals should be locked up. Most in the medical profession believe homosexuality is, at best, a psychiatric problem. But a gay man — interviewed in silhouette to protect his identity — says society has to get used to homosexuals, and not the other way around..."

Take me to the archives...

May is Masterbation Month!

Don't believe what you read!!! Every time you masterbate this month,
God will reduce a vote from the Conservative Party for the next Federal election!

So May is Masterbation Month! (but as if you need ME to tell you that..) And in honour of hairy palms and being thrown in insane asylums (see below), I have decided to share an article from one of my favourite columnists, Ms. Josey Vogels. Enjoy!



Self Reflection

It was viewed as the crack cocaine of sexuality, writes Thomas W. Laqueur about masturbation in the 18th century.

“It was prone to excess as no other kind of venery was […] it had no bounds in reality, because it was a creature of the imagination,” Laqueur writes of the beliefs surrounding onanism, in his exhaustive history of the practice Solitary Sex: A Cultural History of Masturbation (Zone Books).

So much for the Age of Enlightment...

Take me to the rest of the article!

Throughout the ages, Ken has always been a classic wanker...

Space for Growth

To live is to change: our bodies change, our perspectives develop, our knowledge levels grow, our relationships evolve. Change is the only constant that I know. It is unavoidable, unpredictable, and, at times, uncontrollable. What is here today may be gone tomorrow, and what is currently absent in our lives may appear over time.

Change can force a reaction. Often we counterpoise to limit the impact of events or losses or moves; we struggle to maintain our equilibriums. At times we fear change because we don't know what will happen to our balance. The unknown is scary.

But change can also be proactive. To a certain degree, we have the abilities to define what changes we would like and what we can avoid. We can author our own plot twists.

As such, I have made a video to honour the process of welcoming change.

Happy 100th!

Guess what? This is the 100th post of [the little spruce tree]! Can you believe it?

"Actually... yes", says you.

"Well thanks for raining on my parade", I say.

"Shut up and write", you say.

"Oh... okay"

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So with out further adieu, I will present five of my favourite posts from the archives. Perhaps you've read them before, perhaps not. Either way, I wanted to take the opportunity to look back and revisit some of the highlights. This is [the little spruce tree] at its best...

• Professional Crastinator (April 06). This was one of my earliest posts. Because I try to post something every 3 or 4 days, I was feeling pressured to post something, but I had no idea what to write about (creative block)... so I wrote about nothing. Definitely one of my funnier moments.

• On Romanticism (June 06). Without expecting it, this simple "ode to romanticism" became one of my most controversial posts with some interesting comments. I was so stoked that someone had chosen to engage/challenge me that I devoted a whole post to responding (see July 06 archives).

• Graphing the Glory (September 06). A good image can take a post to a higher level. This was a great example where I found the perfect image to accompany what I was writing about. Looking back, I crack up at the thought of my "motley theory of karmatic emotional equilibrium"... vintage Baylis ramblings.

• Urgent Resolutions! (January 07). I feel confident with a post if I laugh out loud when I write it. I was in the library giggling as I imagined myself "dry-humping bar stools"... [the little spruce tree] aspires to mix introspection and humour, I felt like I succeeded here.

• Let's Talk about Sex (February 07). I love to talk about sex. It was a pleasure to sit down with my friend, Mylene, and chat about what is sexy and why. Plus, I interviewed International Mr. Leather! It was all very satisfying for me... tee-hee.

So thanks for reading... and remember that your feedback is always welcome.

Please stick around to see what the next 100 will look like!

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Carbon Neutral...

[from the David Suzuki Foundation Website]

Climate change is a serious problem, caused primarily by the carbon dioxide released from burning fossil fuels like oil, coal, and gas. But there are things we can do about it - like choosing to go carbon neutral.

Going carbon neutral is an easy way to take responsibility for the greenhouse gas emissions we create every time we drive our cars, take a plane, or turn on our computers. It's based on the principle that, since climate change is a global problem, an emission reduction made elsewhere has the same positive effect as one made locally.

Here's how it works: if you add polluting emissions to the atmosphere, you can effectively subtract them by purchasing 'carbon offsets'. Carbon offsets are simply credits for emission reductions achieved by projects elsewhere, such as wind farms, solar installations, or energy efficiency projects. By purchasing these credits, you can apply them to your own emissions and reduce your net climate impact.


Why Go Carbon Neutral?

Keep reading to find out...

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Moments II

You have beautiful moments layered in your memory… I know you do. In fact, you probably have too many to count. You may have lost some with the passage of time, but you have the ability to recall a moment when you were at your most significant. It was when you were sitting around with your friends and you suddenly realized that you were surrounded by goodness. It was when you committed to a partner to stick with them through thick or thin. It was when you felt the white sand beach between your toes. It was something else that I cannot put into words for you because it is so personal or intimate, or it simply lacks sufficient literary expression.

Your moments are when you were filled with contentedness or joy or gratitude or wonder or peacefulness. Perhaps you felt like the world “stood still”. They are the good times, however you may chose to define them. And, to put it bluntly, they make life worth living.

Often we try to capture the essence of the moment, so that we can return to re-live the goodness. Yet how exactly do we capture these moments?

In earlier times, we committed them to memory by the retelling of significant events. Our wondrous moments became stories that were told with animation around mid-night fires. Each time the story was told with different flavour, with emphasis on various words or points in the narration. The memory of our moments would evolve.

We then learned how to draw and paint. We drew basic representations of objects and ideas, and slowly these evolved to life-like paintings of complete scenes and people with facial expressions that added new depth and texture to the re-creation of moments. As we became more precise in our representations, so did the precision of returning to the core emotions of a moment.

As we drew, we created a system of little symbols that represented sounds. When arranged in certain ways, these little symbols would form words, which in term represented various concepts or objects. The words would come together to form sentences, and then sentences to form paragraphs, and paragraphs to stories. We began to write our moments out with ink and paper, so that we could go back and re-experience their magic. Words became a way to travel back in time.

Now our primary mode of returning to our most contented moments is through photography. We click away endlessly with hopes that we will somehow capture the goodness of the moment, so that we can return and re-experience the emotion. With digital photography and video recording, the amount that we can now document is stifling. We are able to capture the landscapes and events of a moment with ease, but even these tools have their limitations.

Perhaps there is a greater reason why we cannot ever fully experience a moment again. Perhaps it is in the best interest of human survival if we are forced to continually seek new joy, rather than re-live older pleasures. Maybe this is what keeps us going – the quest for good feelings and the hope that we will experience pleasant moments again.

Yet despite our inabilities to completely return to a moment, most of us still try to document our times of joy, laughter, achievement, and togetherness. I suppose there is something comforting in taking a photograph or writing a journal; these recorded moments give us something to hold on to. A photo album is a collection of roots, in the sense that it can ground us and give order or connectedness within chaos.

I guess that we try to hold onto moments to create meaning – so that we are not simply random organisms living a series of random events. In capturing our moments, we are able to assemble them into our life’s greatest work… our own life stories. It is a powerful thought to imagine that we can be our own authors.

Who doesn’t want to write a beautiful story filled with beautiful moments?

Your story is coming together.


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Moments

Talent (for caring)

Happy Earth Day!

Isn't it funny that we need a day to celebrate and care about the earth? It's like having "oxygen day" or "brain appreciation day", why would we not be celebratory everyday for that which gives us life?

Anyway, I'll save the rant.

Instead, here's a little earth-lovin' tune by one of Canada's finest singer/songwriters... Sarah Harmer.

Enjoy!

Talent

This illustration was done by a man near and dear to my heart... Mr. Leonard Cohen. For me, it sums up the never-ending process of our individual evolution. No matter how accomplished we may become, there is always the next level to attain.

And sometimes we just wish we could have a special skill or talent (that we might not ever attain), such as playing the violin or taking beautiful photos or running a 3-hour marathon or being clairvoyant.

What is your hidden, under-developed talent?

tree/plugs

Here's the second installation of "tree/plugs". These are some simple recommendations based on the best of what life has offered up recently. Keep me posted if you have suggestions!

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[heard] Lucinda Williams. Named as “America’s Best Songwriter” by Time Magazine in 2002, Lucinda released a new album in February entitled WEST, it follows a similar format to her other albums, however this one perhaps a bit more grittier than recent works. She knows how to take a subject, find minimal (yet succinct) lyrics, and inject it with delicate wisdom. It’s the kind of music that you return to and keep finding layers.

In WEST, Lucinda starts out strong with Are You Alright, a medium paced “drivin’ in the country” song where she simply asks about the wellbeing of a friend who has drifted off. It is an anthem to the folks with whom we’ve lost touch. Another favourite is What if… a song that explores an alternative world where things are turned upside down, “I shudder to think/ what it would mean/ if the president wore pink/ or if a prostitute was queen.” Finally, in classic Lucinda fashion, she finishes with a song that could soften the Rocky Mountains. The title track, West, is an ode to openness; it is stretching out in the sun and letting yourself be warmed. We could all use a bit of that.

I’ll be on the next plane… heading west.



[read] The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho). After a recent craving for inspiration, I picked up this fable for the second time. It was a much needed refresher – although it might not be for everyone. I hover between writing it off for its religious undertones to proclaiming it as one of the best pieces of literature ever written. It appeals to certain beliefs that I hold: we speak a single language (we are one) and that, by following our dreams, we help the world become better. It is a story for our souls.

Read it. Tell me what you think.




[seen] Microcosmos. Warning, seeing this movie may cause you to give up escargots forever. Never have snails been so… oh I don’t know… sensual and erotic? The filmmakers take us inside the purposeful world of insects, a world that most of us never actually witness at this level of intimacy. The entire film is set to classical music draped over colourful insect images. It goes beyond bug fornication, to unveil the mini-realities of the heroes of our ecosystems. You really have to see it to believe it.

It is almost enough to make me forgive all the blackflies in the world… almost.



[experienced] Facebook. The age of anonymity is officially over. The world’s hottest online profiling website, Facebook, now offers us the opportunity to reconnect with everyone from our pasts… even those folks that you spent a decade trying to forget. It becomes an addiction. Suddenly you are having disjointed conversations with people who you haven’t seen in years… hmmm, can I sum up the past 10 years in three sentences?

"Acquired some wisdom via post-secondary education, dead-end jobs, and humbling backpacking trips. Lines around the eyes indicate an attempt to look deeper into things. Blundered at love (multiple times over)… but still going back for more. Daniel = gratified."

Shit. Well I guess 3.5 sentences will work.