Perspective

From dreams to reality...

Speaking of dreams, I awoke the other day from lovely dreams to this email from my mother.


Hi Love,
I gave blood today and while I was waiting I read a magazine article (I had my glasses with me!!) about hair loss. It suggested seeing a doctor about your thyroid. Because thyroid problems are in the family - grandma and me - it sure wouldn't hurt to have it checked out. There's medication you can take to help with hair loss...
Love you....
MOM xoxoxox

It's great to know that someone is thinking about me (and my receding hairline).

Rampaging Elephants and Epiphanies

I have been thinking more about my dreams lately. The kind I have when I sleep; not to be mistaken with my other dreams (also known as aspirations), like to run off with the circus and finally experience life as a carny. No, I have been thinking about all the crazy movies that play in my head while I am deep in REM sleep.

What if it all means something?

Despite often feeling sleep deprived, most of us will spend about one-third of our lives curled up in our beds. I have begun to ask myself some serious dream-related questions. Why do I often dream of grinding my teeth, and then spiting them out into the sink? Should I be concerned about my dead baby dreams? What was the significance of that rampaging elephant with its head of fire? If this is my subconscious speaking to me, then perhaps I need more help then I thought.

The process of attributing meaning to dreams has been around for thousands of years. In the ancient cultures of Egypt and Greece, for example, dreams were considered prophetic and those with special powers unraveled the messages. Anthropologists will attest to most cultures having some sort of explanation to why we dream.

In current western cultures, dream analysis was made famous by Dr. Sigmund Freud. Everyone’s favourite psychoanalytical zealot took dream analysis to a whole new level with his book “The Interpretation of Dreams”. Freud believed that dreams were the royal road to the unconscious. Ladders, trains, tulips, and even fluffy kittens become symbols of frustrated desires, essentially indicating how badly you need to get laid. Anecdotally, I wonder what old Sigs would have to say about rampaging, flaming elephants.

Since September, I have been taking a six-credit course on Counseling Skills and Theories, which has given me insight into the process of the counseling relationship. The fieldwork for this course is to get counseling; it has been much appreciated as I enjoy the process of self-exploration. In fact, in September, my boyfriend said that I was self-centered. I became slightly confused, I turned and questioned, “You say that like it’s a bad thing?” (And incidentally we are not together anymore). The point is that I am a fan of self-analysis.

But I digress.

Last week in my counseling class, we had dream analyst Layne Dalfen facilitate a workshop on dream analysis. After having studied Freudian, Adlerian, and Gestalt theory, Dalfen has become a bit of a McDreamy celebrity with analytical appearances on various morning TV shows with FOX, NBC, and Global to name a few. She runs a dream interpretation center in Montreal and has penned her own book entitled Dreams Do Come True: Decoding Your Dreams to Discover Your Full Potential. I thought for sure that Dalfen could provide me with all the answers I desired.

But as I sat through the lecture, the light bulbs that I had hoped would go off in my head, sat dormant. “Tell me what it all means!” I wanted to yell, “Spoon feed me my epiphany!” I began to realize that ultimately the only person with the answers would be me. If I wanted to find meaning in my dreams, it would be up to me to place it there. That elephant could mean whatever I wanted it to… I put it there and god dammit I will do with it what I choose!

I think that, in analyzing dreams, there are no wrong answers; it is an individualized process. So I won’t fear becoming a bit self-centered, to think about those messed up dreams and find a bit of meaning within the carnival of REM sleep.

And in reference to Dalfen’s book title, maybe dreams do come true, but thankfully, not all of them. As much as I do enjoy a good rampage, I prefer to keep the flaming elephants in my dreams.

* * *

If you are looking for some dream diagnosis, you can check out Layne Dalfen’s website at: www.dreamsdocometrue.ca. She is available for private consultation.

Sigmund Freud, analyze this...

Dreams, Dreams, Dreams...

Everybody is having them, but why? Are we processing events? Receiving messages from a greater power? Or is our brain just trying to humour us?

However you slice it, dreams are usually pretty interesting. I have been trying to remember mine in order to see what is going on up there... here are the results of some highly scientific research done by the folks at "The Little Spruce Tree".

What Your Dreams Mean...

Your dreams seem to show that you're a very well adjusted and happy little spruce tree. Overall, you are very content in your life. You tend to be a very productive thinker. Your dreams tend to reflect your insecurities. You have a very vivid imagination, a rich creative mind, and strong root development.

What Do Your Dreams Mean?

Urgent Resolutions!

Hello 2007!

But wait… what happened to 1999? If you are anything like me, you are a bit stunned at the rate that we seem to be warping through this decade. It felt like just yesterday that I was hiding in my basement with a year’s supply of bottled water, a wheelbarrow full of tinned beans, and a loaded shotgun, waiting for the world to implode with the turn of the century.

Yet here we are seven years wiser. We now have pocket size polar ice caps, disturbing music coming from Paris (and I’m not talking France), and a measly $379 billion (US) spent on freeing the world of “terrorism”. Thank God for the evolution of time!

As with reflection, January also brings the inevitable question of resolutions. These are the promises we make to ourselves that we will change a habit, somehow improve our behaviour, or implement some sort of lifestyle makeover. We aspire to lose our spare tires, stop chain-smoking, and stick to stringent budgets. We love to make’em and love to break’em.

Not to pooh in your cheerios here, but most people fail miserably at maintaining their New Year’s resolutions. Usually, it’s not because they don’t give their change a valiant effort, but because their environment simply does not support this desired change. It is hard to quit smoking if all your friends are smokers. It is hard to eat healthy when you are living in the nation of Fastfoodistan.

There is no denying it – change is tough.

Many years ago, when I was 8 years old, I resolved to become a child prodigy. When that failed, I resolved to never make another resolution again. Yet not one to recoil when the odds are stacked against him, this year I have decided to break the no-resolution policy and prove that I am capable of changing myself. I am going to look adversity in the eye and say, “I will quit heroin this year!”

But seriously, my resolution is to be a bit more “pro-social”. I often find myself locked up in my own private tower, watching the world go by, but perhaps not fully participating in it. I want to drink more martinis, to explore my flirtatious side, and to open doors for the simple sake of seeing what is on the other side. 2007 will be the year of saying to myself, “Yes!”

Because change requires support, I did a quick Internet search to see what sort of help I could get. What I found was www.goalsguy.com - the brainchild of a Mr. G. R. Blair. I was thoroughly amused by the copious amounts of self-help products that were being marketed to me. With winning titles such as “Create Your Own Big-Bang!” and “Goal Setting for Knuckleheads”, it began to seem like failure was no longer an option; not only could I succeed in my resolution, but I could conquer the world! I couldn’t help but feel a little Gandhi stirring in my gut (or perhaps that was the lentil curry I had for lunch).

According to the omnipotence of Mr. Blair, your ability “to create a sense of urgency will have a far-reaching impact throughout all areas of your life.”

(Insert screeching wheel sound)

So essentially I have to panic to get anything done? This can’t be true. If I am trying to be more “social”, won’t a sense of urgency make me appear desperate? I don’t want to be “that guy”, you know the one who is obviously so indeed of social exchange that he ends up with a twitch and is found dry-humping barstools. Should urgency be my new game plan?

But then again, there is truth to the value of urgency. If we had a dollar for every time we rushed to meet a deadline, the budget to fight “terrorism” would look like the weekly allowance of a toddler. Maybe I need to step it up.

Perhaps a bit of tension would help me, but ultimately I think I am going to play it cool for now and save the urgency strategy for when I am a single, bald alcoholic, and toying with the idea of a mid-life crisis.

But for everyone else, feel free to get “urgent”. If you are one of the many who has resolved to “self improve” this New Year, I’m wishing you all the strength in the world. I hope you are able to create so much urgency that you freak the hell out. Then when you are picking up the pieces of your shattered life, you will glue it back together in a lovelier and shinier version.

Happy 2007!