Urgent Resolutions!

Hello 2007!

But wait… what happened to 1999? If you are anything like me, you are a bit stunned at the rate that we seem to be warping through this decade. It felt like just yesterday that I was hiding in my basement with a year’s supply of bottled water, a wheelbarrow full of tinned beans, and a loaded shotgun, waiting for the world to implode with the turn of the century.

Yet here we are seven years wiser. We now have pocket size polar ice caps, disturbing music coming from Paris (and I’m not talking France), and a measly $379 billion (US) spent on freeing the world of “terrorism”. Thank God for the evolution of time!

As with reflection, January also brings the inevitable question of resolutions. These are the promises we make to ourselves that we will change a habit, somehow improve our behaviour, or implement some sort of lifestyle makeover. We aspire to lose our spare tires, stop chain-smoking, and stick to stringent budgets. We love to make’em and love to break’em.

Not to pooh in your cheerios here, but most people fail miserably at maintaining their New Year’s resolutions. Usually, it’s not because they don’t give their change a valiant effort, but because their environment simply does not support this desired change. It is hard to quit smoking if all your friends are smokers. It is hard to eat healthy when you are living in the nation of Fastfoodistan.

There is no denying it – change is tough.

Many years ago, when I was 8 years old, I resolved to become a child prodigy. When that failed, I resolved to never make another resolution again. Yet not one to recoil when the odds are stacked against him, this year I have decided to break the no-resolution policy and prove that I am capable of changing myself. I am going to look adversity in the eye and say, “I will quit heroin this year!”

But seriously, my resolution is to be a bit more “pro-social”. I often find myself locked up in my own private tower, watching the world go by, but perhaps not fully participating in it. I want to drink more martinis, to explore my flirtatious side, and to open doors for the simple sake of seeing what is on the other side. 2007 will be the year of saying to myself, “Yes!”

Because change requires support, I did a quick Internet search to see what sort of help I could get. What I found was www.goalsguy.com - the brainchild of a Mr. G. R. Blair. I was thoroughly amused by the copious amounts of self-help products that were being marketed to me. With winning titles such as “Create Your Own Big-Bang!” and “Goal Setting for Knuckleheads”, it began to seem like failure was no longer an option; not only could I succeed in my resolution, but I could conquer the world! I couldn’t help but feel a little Gandhi stirring in my gut (or perhaps that was the lentil curry I had for lunch).

According to the omnipotence of Mr. Blair, your ability “to create a sense of urgency will have a far-reaching impact throughout all areas of your life.”

(Insert screeching wheel sound)

So essentially I have to panic to get anything done? This can’t be true. If I am trying to be more “social”, won’t a sense of urgency make me appear desperate? I don’t want to be “that guy”, you know the one who is obviously so indeed of social exchange that he ends up with a twitch and is found dry-humping barstools. Should urgency be my new game plan?

But then again, there is truth to the value of urgency. If we had a dollar for every time we rushed to meet a deadline, the budget to fight “terrorism” would look like the weekly allowance of a toddler. Maybe I need to step it up.

Perhaps a bit of tension would help me, but ultimately I think I am going to play it cool for now and save the urgency strategy for when I am a single, bald alcoholic, and toying with the idea of a mid-life crisis.

But for everyone else, feel free to get “urgent”. If you are one of the many who has resolved to “self improve” this New Year, I’m wishing you all the strength in the world. I hope you are able to create so much urgency that you freak the hell out. Then when you are picking up the pieces of your shattered life, you will glue it back together in a lovelier and shinier version.

Happy 2007!