June Callwood (1924-2007)

June Rose Callwood, (June 2, 1924 – April 14, 2007) was a Canadian journalist, author and social activist. Her life was unique, as was her death. Check out an article that she wrote for The Walrus entitled "Forgiveness". Even more impressive was her interview on CBC's The Hour just shortly before her death.



Forgiveness
By June Callwood


A small boy in an industrial city in Ontario was beaten severely many times by his father, to the extent that the boy not infrequently required a doctor to stitch up the wounds. His father, a policeman, sincerely believed that if he beat his son with chains, belts, sticks, and his fists, the boy would not grow up to be gay. That boy, now in his thirties and indelibly a gay man, says he will never forgive his father.

“What he did is not forgivable,” the man says with composure. “How can it ever be all right to abuse a child? But I have let it go.”

And a woman, raised on the Prairies in a Finnish home, married a black man and had a son. She showed the infant proudly to her mother, whose reaction was a look of naked disgust. Her mother and that son, now a charming and successful adult, have since developed an affectionate relationship, but the daughter has not forgotten or forgiven the expression on her mother’s face. "The best I can do,” she says, “is that I have stopped hating her.”

The ability to forgive is a central tenet of every major religion in the world — Christian, Judaic, Hindu, Buddhist, and Islamic. Those faiths urge followers to forgive their enemies and, indeed, even to find a way to love those who wrong them. As the twenty-first century dawns, however, the world is making a spectacular mess of such pious admonitions. Instead of goodwill, this is the age of anger, the polar opposite of forgiveness. Merciless ethnic, tribal, and religious conflicts dominate every corner of the planet, and in North America individuals live with high levels of wrath that explode as domestic brutality, road rage, vile epithets, and acts of random slaughter.

Many people, like the gay man or the woman in a biracial marriage, find forgiveness an unreasonable dictate. Some assaults on the body or soul are unconscionable, they feel, and forgiveness is simply out of the question. It satisfies the requirements of their humanity that they gradually ease away from the primitive thoughts of revenge that once obsessed them...


Keep reading...

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In 2004, June Callwood was diagnosed with inoperable cancer and refused chemotherapy. "I'm in good shape," she said at the time, "I've lived a long time..."

Click here to watch the heartfelt CBC inverview

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Pretty Big Dig

This is an exquisite treat. Filmmaker, Anne Troake, has created a short piece that blends the lines of dance, choreography, music, and industrialism. You have to see it to believe it.

Take me there...

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ascent magazine

Check out the latest issue of ascent magazine (issue 35) for some interesting articles on gender & sexuality. The following links have excerpts from the articles of the print edition... if you like what you seen, then I definitely recommend getting yourself a copy!


being present with desire
In his struggles with the Buddha’s teachings on celibacy, Noah Levine explores how sexuality can be a teacher rather than a tormentor.

opening out
Lesbian-feminist author & Tibetan Buddhist Daphne Marlatt shares her thoughts about transcending gender in spiritual life. Interview by Roseanne Harvey.

something about Mary
Joanna Manning is a former Catholic nun whose opinions about Mary Magdalene, the Church & sexuality are both inspiring & controversial. Talya Rubin investigates.

flights of pleasure
Eileen Delehanty Pearkes takes brahmacarya out of the ashram & into the world

the union of heaven & earth
Can a hatha yoga practice teach us about intimacy & relationships? By Mark Whitwell

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Re: Drag queens not included... or why I'm sort of a bastard

A friend (and mentor), Terry Kyle, had an ambitious and personal response to the last article. Here's what she had to say:

Understanding parts of who I am doesn’t mean changing who I am….. in more than one sentence:-}

There is something ultimately self arrogant and self-pitying for me in this whole process that defies me. I am a bit sick of, or rather from it. The desire to change is one thing, but my image of what I thought I wanted to ultimately ‘turn into’, makes me ill to discover. Do I really think I have to measure up to something? Something that is out there outside of me? Do I really think that just being a mortal and doing my best is not enough? Yes, I want to be the best "I", and I mean capital "I", can be. Not some image of perfection that I have assumed through socialization. So, I feel like telling myself, “Get over it, get real”. This is you woman so get on with it.

Be real! Fuck up, get up, and get on with it.

This is easily said, but some yucky truth embedded in this analysis is the whiny voice, ‘poor me, come please, Prince(ss) What-Ever, please save me for I try so hard!”. Pouff, back to the fairytale I am led… "Well, who makes me poorer than me?", I ask of this image I take on. I am weighted by this self-centered image and welcome ideas of empathy, support, caring, and compassion, community, or so I hope…

There goes the discovery of my mental models. They do not charm me, but yet I am attached. Without knowing, I somehow transformed my outward defensiveness towards inward defensiveness about maintaining those ugly things! Oh no, they are part of who I am – Hello Terry, gulp, and that is okay. Acceptance, I ask? Well, trying to murder or disassociate myself from them has not worked well in the past.

I guess, well [actually I] know, that I must give my lovely funky gifted, imperfect soul a break and say hurray for where I am and where I have come and cheers to all the hope, faith, hard work and compassion I can muster in the world on the rest of my journey with us.

Gosh, it is hard to see the ground or the sky from such a self-centered position.

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Drag queens not included... or why I'm sort of a bastard

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For someone who’s supposed to be benevolent, I’m sort of a bastard.

The thing is, I am a judger. I am constantly forming opinions of people upon superficial qualities. I am assessing, deliberating, and drawing conclusions based on limited information. I wield these personal opinions and evaluations like a samurai fighting a gaggle of military aristocracy – sometimes stealth and subversive, sometimes explicit and confrontational. My judgments are often deadly, and sometimes the innocent fall victim to my condemning sword. But I was not always like this.

As a youngster I received many messages saying, “Never judge a book by its cover” and “Walk a mile in another person’s shoes”, and for years I aspired to embody nonjudgmental behaviour. I would scold my parents anything remotely resembling a generalization, and I would play devils advocate whenever I heard friends make unfair comments. For instance, “Maybe the guy driving the Hummer cut you off because he’s racing to the hospital to see his mother who only has minutes left to live after impaling herself during a freaky quilting accident. Did you ever consider that?”

In my quest to exemplify “nonjudgmentalism”, I would challenge and argue and advocate for the person who (for whichever reason) could not be there to defend for his or her self. How did I become such an eager ally to people I did not know? How did I not end up in Law School? Or more importantly, how the hell did I get so self-righteous?

As I transferred into my twenties, I increasingly became involved in my communities, where the primary prerequisite to any volunteer positions was the art of nonjudgmentalism. I would align myself with an organization (and its mission) to provide a service that improves the livelihoods of clients. The “Harm-Reduction” model implies (amoung other things) that I can’t reduce the transmission of HIV if I judge the choices of injection drug users. I can’t help single, teenage mothers if I am criticizing their behaviour. I learned that if I wanted to be of service to my world, I’d have to retire my judgments.

But I’ve come out of retirement.

Although I still enjoy a good argument (as I did when I was a kid) and I definitely believe in a Harm-Reduction model of prevention, these days I often catch myself making potentially dangerous judgments that teeter between careful consideration and uninformed opinion. It is a very thin line, I’ve discovered.

For example, we had a guest speaker recently in one of my classes. Within seconds I had dismissed the credibility of this person based primarily upon the way she presented herself stylistically. She wore a purple dress suit, cut high above her knees, with shoulder pads and gold jewelry (circa 1983). Her face was painted thick with make-up, while her hair was dyed and spiked, like she had stepped out of a wind tunnel. Plainly stated, I thought she was tacky and out of touch with any sort of reality of which I was familiar. I quickly inferred that we would have conflicting values; it was a judgment based upon superficial attributes.

In theory, I would be open to what she was saying. Instead I found myself blocked by my own perceptions and proceeded to tune out completely. The voice of a younger version of myself now creeps into my head and says, “Daniel, perhaps this woman could have taught you something, if only you would have paid attention”. At which point I respond and say, “But did you see her eye-shadow? How could I possibly trust someone like that (Drag queens not included)?” Perhaps I could have learned something from this woman, but now I’ll never know.

Although I still value a nonjudgmental approach to living my life, I also believe in the importance of critical thinking. Yet these concepts border on being conflicting values. Don’t I need to make some basic judgments if I am going to be critical? How would I critique art or society (or beer) if I did not make basic judgments? How does being evaluative or critical differ from being judgmental?

I guess the most important thing for me is to consider, is how much information I have for my judgments or evaluations. What is the basis of my judgments before I start getting all Zatoichi on friends and family? Do I have enough data to form a fair opinion on the strangers I meet everyday? Recognizing my levels of information, and making them explicit, before I unleash a judgment is a good place to start.

So heck, maybe I’m not such a bastard even if I do make judgments. Still, I think I’ll keep working on that “self-righteous” thing.

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What is "Canadian Cuisine"?

In honour of Thanksgiving, the CBC has posted some interesting video clips, compiled from over the years, all around the theme of Canadian Cuisine. Videos which explore foods such as poutine, doughnuts, fiddleheads, Nanaimo bars, Saskatoon Berry Pie, Canadian cheddar cheese, and maple syrup will leave you scratching your head in a national identity crisis. What is our culinary identity?

From the CBC Archives...

Is there such a thing as Canadian cuisine? The idea of ordering "Canadian" may have some scratching their heads. But Canada has given the world its share of gastronomic delights. From peameal bacon to poutine to pemmican, CBC Archives digs in to some distinctly homegrown fare.

See the videos...

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Clarifying a misconception...

Finally, the truth about the military's policy on homosexuals...


'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat,' Says General

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