Family is a universal human experience. For some, family is a safe zone, a place where solutions exist in a complex world. For others, family is a process, a source of continuing conflict and negotiation. For others, it’s all about compromise (wearing that purple and brown sweater for the sake of your Great Aunt… see last blog).
I have been thinking a lot about family these days, catalyzed by a course that I’m taking (Family Communications); also by a realization that families evolve, and that in the next decade, I will probably begin to create a family of my own. Hopefully, by thinking about it now, I will somehow minimize the trauma that I am sure to inflict upon any potential offspring.
For starters, I think I need a good definition of family. Everyone knows what family is… right? I mean we all come from them, so it should not be too hard to define them. But then after contemplating the question for the past couple weeks, I’ve found myself struggling to come up with a good definition.
I am reading a textbook that defines family as:
“networks of people who share their lives over long periods of time bound by ties of marriage, blood, or commitment, legal or otherwise, who consider themselves as family and who share a significant history and anticipated future of functioning in a family relationship”
Wow, if you are still reading, I am impressed. Doesn’t that seem vague and longwinded? Shouldn’t this be a bit simpler? Didn’t family used to be one or two parents, some kids, a dog, and a huge therapy bill? How the heck am I supposed to learn about something that can’t even really be defined?
So I have decided to simplify. I have decided to let people define family for themselves. If you wanted to live alone with seventeen cats and call yourself a family, I am all for it. Just don’t be knittin’ me any purple and brown sweaters.
In the end, for me, family is whatever the heck you want it to be…
What’s your definition?
2 comments:
Families are scary!
people you can always feel safe with...
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