A Letter

Re: Comments left on the most recent post "On Romanticism"


Dear Non-Gender Identified Anonymous Commentator,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You are obviously well versed in critical thinking, and I have a deep respect for that. It is my hope that the readers of this blog were not offended by me attaching a gender to romance.

I chose a feminine gender because, for myself, romance has been soft, graceful, and beautiful. In the context of my life, these traits have come more frequently from women. I also chose to gender romance because it simply sounds more poetic, and helped to create a romantic tone to the blog in which I was writing. My goal was to elict romantic notions from my readers, and to a certain degree I felt like I had failed when reading your comments. Romance is something that I value and I wanted to share this with those who I care about.

I realize some implications of attaching gender to concepts and ideas (example: perpetuating a problematic bianary system), and I accept full implications of this. To me, romance is indeed practical in many ways, for instance, it helps me enjoy life.

As for my suggestions on how to lead a romantic life being "intrenched in privilege", in some ways I agree with you and in other ways I am surprised that these suggestions were not interpreted as the metaphors in which they were intended. To "get new stamps on your passport" is simply a way of advising one to travel, to step out of familiar territory, to observe other ways of life. This could mean having lunch in a different part of town or walking a different way home from work/school.

Also, I think that you have interpreted the word "home" as simply as structure with walls and a roof. For myself, "home" includes all the people that share the space, the emotions that are elicited, and the experiences that are created. To be able to think about ideas of romance, creating a home and traveling is indeed a privilege, I agree with you. I also believe that dreaming beyond my current socioeconomic status, academic limitations, or spiritual plains will help me, not only be romantic, but also to envision a future of growth and actualization on various personal levels.

It felt like your comments were coming from a discourse that is a part of why romance seems so distant in my culture. Personally, I am torn between the value of critical thinking and dissection versus the value of letting myself be un-analytical and being more present. At what point do I allow myself to be romantic? to be analytical? Is it possible to do both at the same time? I felt like your comments had succeeded to un-romanticize that which I had just written.

I am a bit disappointed that you chose to remain anonymous, however grateful that you took the time to challenge and share your thoughts. I love the suggestion of "enjoying what you have", for me, it is a romantic notion to see myself one day feeling completely balanced and needless. Enjoying what I have now is a great place to start.

So thanks, it was refreshing to be stimulated :)

Sincerely,


Daniel