It is an unassuming Tuesday afternoon, and you are sitting in your new Philosophy class: Introduction to Ethics. The professor has the class in the palm of her hand as she elicits existential questions from deep within your brain. She pauses for a moment to let you think about moral principles, when suddenly an invasive melody springs from the purse of the Nicole-Ritchie-look-alike in the back row.
The air is filled with a synthesized ringing of “Don’t Cha” by the Pussycat Dolls, followed by “yeah, I’m in class right now… I’ll meet you at Starbucks in 20 minutes”. Meanwhile, the whole class has turned to look, the professor has lost her train of thought, and cell-phone girl is applying her lip-gloss as if nothing has happened.
Am I the only person who wants to rip the blonde hair extensions off this girl and force a milkshake down her fake-tan-face so that she’ll have enough calories to comprehend that her cell-phone is completely obnoxious?
This is the ugly side of the cellular era. When owning a portable phone, we suddenly become accessible virtually everywhere - which leaves many people mistakenly thinking that they are somehow important. Talking to your mom or boyfriend does not make you the Dalai Lama.
One reason that cell-phones are problematic is that our culture has yet to establish concrete and appropriate norms when it comes to usage. Is it okay to use a cellular while in a public bathroom? Is it safe to drive and talk? Is it rude to be chatting on a cell-phone while ordering a latte? Is it really that wrong to send a quick text-message while sitting in class? If you have ever wondered if your cellular behaviour is questionable, then chances are it is.
Yet despite my obvious distaste for cellular culture, the time has come for me to consider the benefits of a cellular lifestyle. I am a busy guy with school, work, projects, and relationships to tend to; at times, a cell-phone would simplify communication and overall efficiency. But don’t get me wrong, I have no delusions of grandeur… I realize how highly unimportant I am.
So if I choose to sign my life away to some corporate contract, how do I remain as un-repugnant as possible? Is there some cellular code-of-conduct out there that I can use as a moral beacon? Unfortunately, I am afraid that I will be walking unguided through the mobile maze. But remembering to turn off the cell phone while in a lecture, lab, or tutorial will be a good place to start.
And as for those repeated classroom cell-phone offenders, I think Professors should start implementing stricter cell-phone policy. For example, they could propose that those individuals who have “cellular episodes” in class should be responsible for buying beer for the entire class at the end of the semester. Classmates would be sure to hold the guilty people accountable for their air-headed actions.
I just hope that I won’t be the schmuck buying beer for his class.
2 comments:
Unrelated, but someone has succesfully sold his (cold) soul on ebay.
I suggest the pay as you go route. We have a cell phone but no one knows the number and it is rarely on and it is cheap to do the pay as you go. We just use it when we want to. That's my recommendation!
Kyla
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