To Montrealers...

“Where were you when…?”

This is often the question that surfaces when shocking events strike our lives – when the planes crashed into the twin towers, when the tsunami wrecked havoc on south east Asia, when the London Tube was bombed. What were you doing? How did you find out? What was your reaction? Large-scale events have haunting implications, and many of us are now suddenly connected in a way that we previously were not. If you were in Montreal on the 13th of September 2006, whether you are my friend or if we are strangers, we now share a similar experience. Often we create or maintain these connections through a process of sharing personal accounts and experiences.

If you could be so patient as to grant me a moment to briefly share my story, perhaps you will echo some of the sentiments…

* * *

I was sitting a home, typing up a cheeky article for The Link when my friend called me from Vancouver to make sure that I was okay. At first I was confused, but she quickly informed me about the news that she had heard, and I was on the CBC website within seconds. I was shocked. The first report that I accessed told me that six people were dead, with countless wounded. I immediately thought of my friend who studies nursing at Dawson, and I dialed his cell-phone to check in.

Fuck, no answer.

I turned on the radio, hooked up the dusty TV, and refreshed the news websites every minute to get more information. I wanted to go down to Dawson, but all reports told me to stay away. I felt powerless; there never seemed to be enough information. Finally, an email arrived from my friend telling me that he was okay. He was in the cafeteria when the shootings happened, but managed to hideout in a classroom until police came to assist in an evacuation.

I had a surge of emotion – mostly tears of relief, but also laced with anger that a friend was forced to experience such violence at a close proximity. There was also a knowledge that, despite the fact that my friend was safe, the reality of what had happened was still unchanged.

The day continued with minor news updates and a resonating sense of confusion. Friends and family from different parts of Canada called and emailed to check in, less out of fear that I had been physically harmed, but more to get a sense of the chaos in Montreal. I gave them what information I had – I told them that we were shocked and saddened and would need time to process.

* * *

Days later, I think I am still confused, but much of my anger is beginning to change into forms of compassion and/or sympathy. Like so many of us, I have wondered what could possibly motivate someone to act in such a horrific way. Yet, I am also sad for this young, violent man, who apparently slipped through the cracks of our communal ability to care for one another. I grieve for our disconnected cultural system, a system that often isolates instead of includes. I wonder what our process would look like, as a human race, to be able to prevent such events before they occur.

But before we can analyze, first we must grieve: as individuals, as a student body, as a city, and as a society. I hope we are able to go through this recovery process completely - if we felt fear, then to feel safe again; if we are angry, then a chance to express; if we are confused, then perhaps some frame of resolution. When we have returned to a sense of normalcy, it will be time to be critical about what has occurred.

So as we recover, I hope that you get the chance to share, to tell your story. Where were you when you found out about the shootings? How did you react? What sort of impact will this event have on you? Keep speaking of your truths - and let’s move forward as a system that is connected and that cares for each of its irreplaceable parts.