Dansexperience™

So last night I went to a rave. My friend, Sam, had been organizing this event for the past couple of months and I wanted to go out there and support him (as well as the benefactor of the event- Montreal Native Friendship Center). There were all the elements of a typical rave: fluorescent glow sticks, sugary lolipops, and drug-induced smiles painted on the faces of young girls enthralled with blowing bubbles.

I felt a bit like a fish out of water. This could have something to do with opting out of consuming any designer drugs. But also the realization that my party scene lays elsewhere.



The truth is that I am a big old-school'er when it comes to partying. Give me cheesy, 80's bass lines and sappy choruses over the thump-thump of house or trance. Give me a dance floor with a mirror ball, a DJ who knows the joys of retro, and fellow party-ers who aren't afraid to belt out the lyrics to 'YMCA'.

I miss the old days where you'd have to tie me to my bar stool to stop me from busting out when 'Billie Jean' came creeping through the speakers. There were many a time when I lost all pelvis control at the very whisper of 'Sweet Dreams'. I have had many religious experiences grooving to 'Like a Prayer'.

My partying drug of choice is tried and true- nothing does it for me quite like alcohol. It has enabled me to share with the world the truly talented dancer that I really am (it's a shame that I'm wasting all this time in university when my true calling is to be a break dancer in MTV music videos). A couple of gin & tonic supersonics and people start watching me dance because of my skill, some even point their fingers at me.

Beer has been the catalyst to numerous first kisses. Without these alcohol lubricated make-out sessions, I might still be the sexually frustrated adolescent that I was... ready to go postal on the soft-core couple ramming their tongues down each others throats infront of me in the check-out line at IGA. Thus, alcohol has not only allowed myself to relax, but has allowed me to spare the lives of innocent people.

So, chances are I will never fully comprehend the whole 'rave' thing. I think that ship sailed and left without me while I was busy learning the moves to 'Backstreet's Back'. But I think I am coming to peace with it. Besides, the world needs me to have a beer, relax, and share my god-given gift of dancing to retro.