I have been thinking a lot about romance lately, and the various forms in which she exists. When thinking about romance, we often imagine candle-lit dinners, long-stemmed red roses, making love on a beach, and poetry dripping with intergalactic grandeur. These romantic notions are based on love, sensuality, and sexuality.But what are the other ways that one can be romantic?
For myself, I am highly romantic about my life, about the way I desire my time on this planet to unfold, and all the things that I hope to accomplish. This indeed does include falling in love (and all the gushy things listed above), but also many romantic notions of adventure, lifestyle, and community.
I want to write poetry in a Paris café, I want to watch the sunrise from the top of Mount Kilimanjaro, I want to buy a boat and live on it, I want to run a marathon, I want to record an album, I want to plant a garden, I want to watch children grow, I want to bake bread, I want grey hair, I want to die knowing that I have lived.For a long time, I was hesitant to admit to the true extent of my romanticism. I think this was a response to the fact that we are living in fairly un-romantic times. These are the days of Wal-mart, the 6 o’clock news, suburban isolation, and institutionalized aging. It is tragically easy to live an un-romantic life. We have jobs that tell us to be more efficient, schools that tell us to be more logical, and a society that tells us to be unoriginal.
I, for one, feel a need to fight against the dying of romance. And as such, I have chosen to be an ally to romance, because I think she has seen better days.
So what is being an ally to romance?
It means stating loud and clear that I AM A ROMANTIC and that I am pretty damn proud of it. In doing this I hope you are able to think about your own romantic tendencies and divulge in them from time to time. You may just find yourself smiling a bit more.
Tips on living a romantic life (from a self appointed expert):
• Get new stamps on your passport regularly
• Write letters and postcards (not just e-mails)
• Take time to daydream
• Keep a journal
• Build/design a home
• Be bold (…I’m still learning this one)
• Become comfortable with tears
5 comments:
It's interesting that you gender romance - perhaps this is also a cultural trap where everything of a less practical nature is connected to the female gender.
Perhaps one needs to be in a position earning a substantial income to do things like travel the world to regularly put stamps in our passports, write poetry in Paris (unless you're from Paris) and designing or building a home. The luxury to do this things, and even to engage in thinking about things can be considered a very privileged thing.
Other ways to be romantic? Being comfortable in your mind, body and surroundings, looking for the beauty in everything around you, enjoying what you have - and maybe a walk in a nicer part (or outskirts) of town, sharing some food with friends, or loving the intimate connections you develop. I'm all for dreaming, but some of your suggestions seemed intrenched in privilege. Accepting aspects of our psyche goes deeper than grand gestures or plans (is this being a romantic, dreamer or escapist?), perhaps being a romantic, or excepting this part of one's personality has many manifestations that might not require money or cultural assumptions of romance. Isn't being poor romantic for some? - It would go well with the poetry.
Just another perspective.
I love your blog and am so happy to count you as a close friend, Dan. I also really appreciate the previous post and their analysis and chanllenges.
Being romantic has alot to do with allowing yourself to dream big (example, watch the sun rise from Mnt. Kilimanjaro) and making them realistic to your present limitations (example, going to a local natural space that is accessible and affordable to you to watch the sun rise).
Ahhh, life. Such exciting challenges. I'm all for embracing aspects of ourselves that are not necissarily acceptable and mainstream. I'm happy for the reminder to celebrate my own romanticism and get right down deep into the everyday beauty of my life.
Hope you are enjoying our home town of PG, Dan, and that you've gone to say hello to Joey :)
xo H
I have read your blogs several times and the topic has forced me to write my views..
Every human see dreams and I guess they find romantic dreams very fascinating....They want to love someone and get love..Without love they find something missing in themselves..To the outer world they show that they are very happy but deep inside they always feel some loneliness and hence they seek someone who will help them to get away from their loneliness..who will share something with them..But in this way most of us forget about our being..our true nature..
You have defined romanticism in a new manner and I agree with you that if people can follow your suggestions about feeling romanticism..they will never miss themself in this world..their inner world will never be lonely..and they will live happy and fulfilled ever...actually what we seek outside is already their within us..just we have to realise the power and essence of our self to get what we want.:)
Hi! Just want to say what a nice site. Bye, see you soon.
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