Moments II

You have beautiful moments layered in your memory… I know you do. In fact, you probably have too many to count. You may have lost some with the passage of time, but you have the ability to recall a moment when you were at your most significant. It was when you were sitting around with your friends and you suddenly realized that you were surrounded by goodness. It was when you committed to a partner to stick with them through thick or thin. It was when you felt the white sand beach between your toes. It was something else that I cannot put into words for you because it is so personal or intimate, or it simply lacks sufficient literary expression.

Your moments are when you were filled with contentedness or joy or gratitude or wonder or peacefulness. Perhaps you felt like the world “stood still”. They are the good times, however you may chose to define them. And, to put it bluntly, they make life worth living.

Often we try to capture the essence of the moment, so that we can return to re-live the goodness. Yet how exactly do we capture these moments?

In earlier times, we committed them to memory by the retelling of significant events. Our wondrous moments became stories that were told with animation around mid-night fires. Each time the story was told with different flavour, with emphasis on various words or points in the narration. The memory of our moments would evolve.

We then learned how to draw and paint. We drew basic representations of objects and ideas, and slowly these evolved to life-like paintings of complete scenes and people with facial expressions that added new depth and texture to the re-creation of moments. As we became more precise in our representations, so did the precision of returning to the core emotions of a moment.

As we drew, we created a system of little symbols that represented sounds. When arranged in certain ways, these little symbols would form words, which in term represented various concepts or objects. The words would come together to form sentences, and then sentences to form paragraphs, and paragraphs to stories. We began to write our moments out with ink and paper, so that we could go back and re-experience their magic. Words became a way to travel back in time.

Now our primary mode of returning to our most contented moments is through photography. We click away endlessly with hopes that we will somehow capture the goodness of the moment, so that we can return and re-experience the emotion. With digital photography and video recording, the amount that we can now document is stifling. We are able to capture the landscapes and events of a moment with ease, but even these tools have their limitations.

Perhaps there is a greater reason why we cannot ever fully experience a moment again. Perhaps it is in the best interest of human survival if we are forced to continually seek new joy, rather than re-live older pleasures. Maybe this is what keeps us going – the quest for good feelings and the hope that we will experience pleasant moments again.

Yet despite our inabilities to completely return to a moment, most of us still try to document our times of joy, laughter, achievement, and togetherness. I suppose there is something comforting in taking a photograph or writing a journal; these recorded moments give us something to hold on to. A photo album is a collection of roots, in the sense that it can ground us and give order or connectedness within chaos.

I guess that we try to hold onto moments to create meaning – so that we are not simply random organisms living a series of random events. In capturing our moments, we are able to assemble them into our life’s greatest work… our own life stories. It is a powerful thought to imagine that we can be our own authors.

Who doesn’t want to write a beautiful story filled with beautiful moments?

Your story is coming together.


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Moments

Talent (for caring)

Happy Earth Day!

Isn't it funny that we need a day to celebrate and care about the earth? It's like having "oxygen day" or "brain appreciation day", why would we not be celebratory everyday for that which gives us life?

Anyway, I'll save the rant.

Instead, here's a little earth-lovin' tune by one of Canada's finest singer/songwriters... Sarah Harmer.

Enjoy!

Talent

This illustration was done by a man near and dear to my heart... Mr. Leonard Cohen. For me, it sums up the never-ending process of our individual evolution. No matter how accomplished we may become, there is always the next level to attain.

And sometimes we just wish we could have a special skill or talent (that we might not ever attain), such as playing the violin or taking beautiful photos or running a 3-hour marathon or being clairvoyant.

What is your hidden, under-developed talent?

tree/plugs

Here's the second installation of "tree/plugs". These are some simple recommendations based on the best of what life has offered up recently. Keep me posted if you have suggestions!

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[heard] Lucinda Williams. Named as “America’s Best Songwriter” by Time Magazine in 2002, Lucinda released a new album in February entitled WEST, it follows a similar format to her other albums, however this one perhaps a bit more grittier than recent works. She knows how to take a subject, find minimal (yet succinct) lyrics, and inject it with delicate wisdom. It’s the kind of music that you return to and keep finding layers.

In WEST, Lucinda starts out strong with Are You Alright, a medium paced “drivin’ in the country” song where she simply asks about the wellbeing of a friend who has drifted off. It is an anthem to the folks with whom we’ve lost touch. Another favourite is What if… a song that explores an alternative world where things are turned upside down, “I shudder to think/ what it would mean/ if the president wore pink/ or if a prostitute was queen.” Finally, in classic Lucinda fashion, she finishes with a song that could soften the Rocky Mountains. The title track, West, is an ode to openness; it is stretching out in the sun and letting yourself be warmed. We could all use a bit of that.

I’ll be on the next plane… heading west.



[read] The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho). After a recent craving for inspiration, I picked up this fable for the second time. It was a much needed refresher – although it might not be for everyone. I hover between writing it off for its religious undertones to proclaiming it as one of the best pieces of literature ever written. It appeals to certain beliefs that I hold: we speak a single language (we are one) and that, by following our dreams, we help the world become better. It is a story for our souls.

Read it. Tell me what you think.




[seen] Microcosmos. Warning, seeing this movie may cause you to give up escargots forever. Never have snails been so… oh I don’t know… sensual and erotic? The filmmakers take us inside the purposeful world of insects, a world that most of us never actually witness at this level of intimacy. The entire film is set to classical music draped over colourful insect images. It goes beyond bug fornication, to unveil the mini-realities of the heroes of our ecosystems. You really have to see it to believe it.

It is almost enough to make me forgive all the blackflies in the world… almost.



[experienced] Facebook. The age of anonymity is officially over. The world’s hottest online profiling website, Facebook, now offers us the opportunity to reconnect with everyone from our pasts… even those folks that you spent a decade trying to forget. It becomes an addiction. Suddenly you are having disjointed conversations with people who you haven’t seen in years… hmmm, can I sum up the past 10 years in three sentences?

"Acquired some wisdom via post-secondary education, dead-end jobs, and humbling backpacking trips. Lines around the eyes indicate an attempt to look deeper into things. Blundered at love (multiple times over)… but still going back for more. Daniel = gratified."

Shit. Well I guess 3.5 sentences will work.

Reginald's Law of Realization

This column is dedicated to two individuals: Terry Kyle (for your warmth and energy) and to my father (for teaching me adventure).

* * *

The semester is wrapping up quickly. After exams are conquered, some of us will keep trudging away through spring classes, some of us will commence our summer employment, and some of us will be closing a chapter of our lives, with university degrees completed.

For those who are not returning, it can be tough to say goodbye to school… heck, it can be tough to say goodbye to a lot of things. But university is an especially formative time for many people. I know that when I finish (next April), I will leave deeply impacted by my university years. How will I make the transition from school to “the next phase”? I often wonder how will my life be different when I finish. Where will I be in 5 years?

Life is pretty random; we don’t always know where we’ll end up.

For instance, as I write this, my father (Reginald) is just north of Nowheresville, Ontario in an 18-wheel cargo truck heading east with a random man named “Oscar”.

For this little anecdote to make sense, allow me to take you back a couple of months…

On one snowy day in February, I returned to my computer (after a procrastinating pause to pluck my nose hairs) to find a slew of MSN messages from my father (who lives in Prince George, BC) telling me about his highlight of the day (usually this involves walking to get the mail). This particular message was not unlike any of the other rambling messages that I have received… until I got to the end.

“By the way, Dan, I think I’ll hitchhike across Canada to visit you in April.”

“Sure Dad”, I thought, “I’ll just paddle my canoe to Winnipeg to meet you. Then for shits and giggles, we’ll build a hot-air balloon from corncobs and fly to the Galapagos Islands to observe endangered albino dingbats.” My father… what a kook!

But not one to scoff at adventure, Reginald decided that his thumb could (and would) get him to Montreal. He hit the highway last Monday with a brown bag lunch, a backpack, and a faith that humanity would get him where he wanted to go.

Well, “humanity” took him to Red Deer, Alberta that day. But then it carried him through the prairies, north across the Great Lakes, and soon he will arrive into Toronto.

My father’s trip is becoming a learning experience for all of us. It turns out that hitchhiking in the snow kind of sucks, but that truckers are generally pretty nice (if not desperately in need of social interaction). Shortly into his trip, a talkative trucker from El Salvador picked up my snow-covered father from the side of the road. The two have become “Highway One” buddies for a couple thousand kilometers now.

Once in Toronto, Reginald plans to take the train up to Montreal. He left me a weary sounding phone message last night, “After 4000 kilometers of keeping people company, I can’t wait to get a seat to myself and to not talk to anyone.” Fair enough, I say.

I must admit that I admire my father’s sense of adventure. He has a deep-rooted theory that everything he needs in life will somehow be provided. I think Reginald’s theory shall soon be declared as “Reginald’s Law of Realization” – ask what you need, and it shall be realized.

So if you are saying “au revoir” to a certain stage in your life, good luck with transitioning into work or travels or whatever is next for you. Endings are also beginnings (but it’s okay to get sad anyway). I hope you go forth with a couple of lessons. I’ve learned a few things myself recently…

Sometimes a good ride will cost us nothing. Sometimes a willingness to talk to people will get us far. And sometimes we simply need space to be alone.

I guess it just takes a bit of courage to put your thumb out and hope that there might be a few good souls to help you get where you want to go.

May your next chapter be filled with good people and a bit of adventure…

Chocolate

This is a delicious little article from CBC...


Wondering whether you can indulge in that chocolate bunny staring at you from the box without compromising your healthy diet?

Well, if you're a lover of chocolate, you may be in luck. There is increasing evidence that chocolate can be part of a healthy diet - and that it may even offer some specific health benefits.

However, not all chocolate is created equal. Read on to find out how to incorporate this treat into your diet and get the most of what it has to offer.


mmmm... take me there!

Junk

All this talk of global warming has created a need for an introspective piano ballad.

We've torn forests apart, stripped the oceans of fish, and created so much junk in landfills.

What are we going to do with all this junk?

Smilin' with Suzuki

Canadians are finally reaching a state where climate change is no longer some lamented, bleeding-hearted battle cry from scheming leftist hippies. Instead, skeptics are finding it tough to argue against the mountains of scientific consensus that says we are indeed heading up “shit creek” without a paddle (and soon without water because the glacial sources are almost gone).

An Angus Reid poll released last week states that 77 percent of Canadians think climate change is real.

Well… duh.

What is going on in the heads of the other half-witted 23 percent? Oh right, they’re from Alberta (Zing! Sorry Albertans, roasting ya’ll is becoming clichéd. You guys deserve more credit… I know ya’ll are doing yer best to find “environmentally friendly” oil out there!)

Issues of sustainability and the environment are on my mind as I recently attended the youth summit Less Talk, More Action featuring keynote speakers David Suzuki and Al Gore.

The afternoon of speeches was inspiring and disturbing; we were beaten over the head with statistics and research on the reality of climate change. Do we need any more reason to act? Do we really need more convincing?

I left the event feeling content to have heard such amazing lectures, but with a big acid rain cloud of bleakness above my head. It is easy to feel discouraged with the current state of the environment and even more so with inept political policy.

Fortunately I have David Suzuki to bring me joy.

It is hard for me to be nonbiased or objective about David Suzuki…. he’s just so darn lovable (in an appreciative Guru sort of way). My (not so) secret fantasy is for us to grab an old, converted bio-diesel VW Westfalia and hit the highway for a two-week, cross-Canada road trip. We sleep under the northern lights, eat breakfasts at small town diners, and he bestows upon me the wisdom that he has acquired over the years. He teaches me the nature of things; I attempt to make him laugh with impersonations of George Bush and Stephen Harper. We’re modern day eco-warriors.

Al Gore can come too, but the minute he has a few shots of corn whiskey and starts talking about “Cow Tipp(er)ing” during his early days in Tennessee, he’ll be hitching his sorry ass back to America.

Speaking of Al Gore, I was actually surprised by the man. I have not yet seen “An Inconvenient Truth” (is that shameful?) and for some reason, I had really expected him to not have an actual personality; his address to the crowd was a mix of comedy act, science lecture, pep talk, and Baptist sermon. I give him kudos for his passion and knowledge, and for generating a movie that has educated the masses. He has taken election-loss-lemons and made organic lemonade.

So after attending Less Talk, More Action, I had the intention to write a passionate column about climate change and individual responsibility, filled with hard hitting statistics and inspiring prose, but I find that the message of environmental decay is becoming tiresome and laced with fear. Do I really need to motivate you to care about climate change?

No. And thank god, the “inspiring prose” idea was a long shot.

Understandably there is reason to be afraid, Suzuki and Gore attested to that; we need to change and we need to change quickly. Fast change requires that we challenge our communities and ourselves.

But how do we deal with the challenge?

When I am sweating in yoga class, trying to twist myself into some unnatural human pretzel, my instructor often says, “When it becomes really uncomfortable, curl up the sides of your mouth”. At that point I remember to breathe and usually release an awkward expression that is somewhere between a smile and a grimace.

When it comes to ecological and economic issues, we need to challenge in order to change. This means challenging our notions of what is a "healthy society", which currently is heavily defined through financial capital. Healthy societies are those where the citizens are physically, financially, spiritually, and socially content.

It will be a beautiful day when we have reestablished a sense of ecological balance, and it will be even greater if we are able to keep our abilities to smile as we go through the inevitable challenges required.

I know that I’ll be smiling because I’ve got David Suzuki on my side.


* * * *

You can access the David Suzuki Foundation from the link on the side of this page.

Is it getting hot in here?

A recent Angus Reid poll stated that 77% of Canadians belief that Global Warming is occurring (see article).

Where do you stand on this issue? What advice do you have for Canadians?


The content of this post is your comments.

Finally, a cure...

People have problems. Let's face it, whether it's the nagging pain in your back or your dreaded mother-in-law or the negative balance in your bank account, there's usually something that needs fixing.

For some people the problem is all in their heads. This is a fascinating video glimpse into an intervention that could provide a cure for millions of people. Never give up hope on a cure.

Re: Please do not excuse/exclude yourself...

I appreciate when people leave comments and engage with the subject that has been brought to the table (whether you agree with what I have to say, or not).

Kudos for speaking from the heart...

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I think the notion of 'not seeing skin color' comes from a couple of places, one is as you are suggesting-an inherent part of unexplored/unacknowledged racism, the other comes from people wanting to come from a place of respecting and valuing everyone regardless of the color of skin.

However, I personally feel that if people aren't noticing that my skin is a bit darker than theirs perhaps, then they are not really seeing me for who I am and that doesn't feel good or respectful. Racism has become such an ugly word in our society that as people we become afraid to talk about it.

Let's just acknowledge that we live in a world where skin color comes with a multitude of assumptions/biases and lets look at our assumptions and how we enact those and then perpetuate this thing we call 'racism', and then do as you are suggesting-take some responsibility for changing this.

-Cathy Baylis
[Community worker, painter, healer, aboriginal woman, grandmother]

Please do not excuse/exclude yourself...

“I am not racist.”

I have heard this self-serving proclamation too many times. Each time I question why people feel a need to tell me this. Each time I wonder if people know they are wasting their words with me. Each time I am break into my “actually-you-are-probably-more-racist-than-you-think” rant and attempt to explain why racism is not so black & white (pun definitely intended).

And here I go again.

Despite an increasing cultural sensitivity towards human diversity, racism is a social virus that continues to eat at the spine of our collective human body. Yet I often hear people proclaiming “racist innocence”. There are several reasons why it is pointless to say, “I am not racist”, and why the statement does more damage than good.

Firstly, to say that one is not racist, under the seemingly innocent claim of “I don’t see skin colour”, is a blatant lie (unless of course you are actually blind). When we pretend not to see skin colour, we refuse to acknowledge the realities that individuals experience. To be “colour-blind” denies the lived experiences of people who have actually been marginalized by racist beliefs and policy. We see skin colour. Don’t lie.

Secondly, in our current cultural climate, racist beliefs are increasingly socially unacceptable. Thus to proclaim innocence from any racist beliefs could simply be an individual’s attempt to adhere to social norms. If you tell me you are not racist, I have no idea if you are simply trying to be likeable or if you actually have a deep appreciation for diversity. In trying to create a positive social image for oneself, the statement is as effective as saying, “I don’t kill babies”. My response is, “That’s great, yet it doesn’t actually tell me anything about you.”

Thirdly, despite our movement towards the social unacceptability of racism, it is a prevalent issue in our cultural and political systems. Any claims of non-racism are negated by the fact that we buy into these systems all the time. Whether you are placing an electoral vote, purchasing cheap-labour produced goods, or paying your taxes, you are perpetuating the system – a system that ranks people according to their gender, age, physical abilities and, most definitely, the colour of their skin.

Need more proof? Systemic or “institutional” racism is evident in our primarily “white” parliament, in discriminatory immigration policies, and in the vulnerabilities of aboriginal and other ethnic populations to HIV infection, drug addiction, and suicide rates. We are all part of a system that perpetuates racism, thus we are not individually free of racism.

Finally (and a tangent of my previous point), there is a direct link between consumerism and racism. Why is there a tendency to fill minimum wage jobs with immigrant workers of colour? Why do we out-source so much of our production to overseas nations? Before you drop your next paycheck at your local Wal-Mart, think about how food, clothing, and other goods are produced. Can a person claim to be “un-racist” while supporting businesses that perpetuate poverty through impossibly low wages? Poverty and racism exist inseparably.

The underlying idea that I am hammering home is that we live in a culture with racism engrained into its framework. To say, “I am not racist” is to excuse oneself from acknowledging that systemic racial problems exist. It is not only pointless to proclaim, “I am not racist”, but also damaging. By refusing to recognize one’s individual role and responsibility in adjusting the system, we in turn perpetuate the status quo. We are each a part of the problem, and we can each chose to be part of the solution.

So what can we do? An appreciation for human diversity is communicated through words, but more importantly through actions. Here are some places to start:

• Think about whom you vote and the values of this individual or political party. Will your local representative reflect and honour the diversity of your riding?

• Educate yourself on Canada’s racist history: we have exploited, institutionalized, displaced, and colonized. Don’t deny people of their past; it has huge impact on their realities today (this starts with seeing colour).

• Think about what you buy. Our greatest power is that of a consumer. Who is impacted by my need to have the absolute lowest prices? Move towards responsible and critical consuming.

• Watch what comes out of your mouth (and the mouths of those around you). Are there ways to be humourous without targeting someone’s culture or skin colour?

Instead of wasting words on proclamations of innocence from racism, let’s think about the ways that we can foster inclusion, respect, and appreciation. Change comes slowly, but it starts at the individual level. Your actions will echo.

March 21 is the International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination.

I'm different, you're different

In Montreal, and in other places across Canada, Action Week Against Racism has just begun. Various events can be found at inforacisme.com. I'll be checking out the Human Rights Film Festival.

Film can be a powerful way to send a message.

This is a video submitted for the national March 21 Stop Racism campaign. It's from Archwood School in Winnipeg, Manitoba. You can watch more of the videos and get more information about submitting on the Canadian Heritage Website.

Spirituality 101

Warriors (are appreciated)

Interesting, and slightly disturbing, article on cbc.ca this morning which relates to a previous posting on [the little spruce tree]. It is evidence of a current cultural tendency to create shame surrounding female sexuality.

What do you think?

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Vagina Monologues author to address school board over suspension issue

Eve Ensler, writer of The Vagina Monologues, will speak to the school district in New York state where three girls were suspended for using the word "vagina" while performing a section of the play.

Susan Celia Swan, Ensler's assistant, confirmed Friday the writer will speak on Tuesday at a school theatre in the New York city suburb of Cross River just before a meeting of the board of education.

She will appear with the 16-year-old girls who uttered the word — Hannah Levinson, Megan Reback and Elan Stahl — according to school board member Peter Breslin.

John Jay High School Principal Richard Leprine said the three had agreed not to use the word but included it in an excerpt from the play they recited at a school event last week. Leprine suspended the girls for a day each.

Leprine said they had promised not to use the word because there might be young children in the audience. The three say they never made such an agreement and have had an outpouring of support from fellow students and parents.

Ensler responded to news of the suspensions by calling it "a throwback to the Dark Ages" and hailed the girls as "Vagina Warriors."

District Superintendent Bob Lichtenfeld then postponed the suspensions.

Since news broke earlier in the week about the situation, the teens have become anti-censorship icons.

"We did it because we believe in the word vagina, and because we believe it's not a bad word. It shouldn't be a word that is ever censored, and the way in which we used it was respectable," Reback told the New York Times.

(taken from cbc.ca)

plug for this tree

In a lovely twist of fate, after having recently plugged some of my favourite things, a mysterious fellow blogger has written a review of [the little spruce tree]... and I didn't even pay for it!

Check it out on Puck's Prattle.

tree/plugs

The Little Spruce Tree, in many ways, is more an online magazine than an actual blog. As such, I have decided to introduce a regular "Review" section (as you find in most 'zines) where I will share some of the good stuff I have found. If you have suggestions, please feel free to share the good things that you have found.

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[heard] Ray Lamontagne. Every so often I stumble across an album that provides me with the soundtrack to my life (I know it sounds cliché, but it's true). In the past, albums from Sarah Harmer, Travis, Kathleen Edwards, and Damien Rice have been the backdrop to break-ups, roadtrips and relocations. Right now my soundtrack is Till The Sun Turns Black by Ray Lamontagne.

The album gently traverses the lines between folk, rock, and soul under the gentle guidance of Ray's delicate, haunting vocals. The first track, Be Here Now, has become my simple request to remain present in the moments of sitting on a bus, walking down the sidewalk, or cooking in the kitchen. In Can I Stay, Ray sings his vulnerable request to spend the night with his lover..."between your blissfull kisses whisper 'Darling, is this love?'" (sigh) The album ends with Ray strumming his guitar, singing "war is not the answer, the answer is within you". The song, Within You is an unpretentious call for self-exploration, and ultimately the answers are found through one thing...

Ray also does a phenomenal accoustic cover of last summer's crazy big hit "CRAZY" by Gnarles Barkely. It is not on the album, but can be found on youtube


[read] Bloodletting & Miraculous Cures (Vincent Lam). This book has received so much hype since it won the Giller Prize award in November, so I almost hestitate in putting it on the list. But it is a fantastic read, so I don't mind giving it a bit more attention.

"Bloodletting" grants us a glimpse into the intersecting lives of medical students as they deal with exams and relationships and missing body parts. Although generally taking place in clinical settings, the immerging themes stretch far beyond the woes of med-school or the "ER" to universal issues of love, loss, and the currency of the medical field... life.



[seen] Sex and the City (Season One). Nearly 10 years ago four sexy, single women stormed onto our television screens with unapologetic rants about relationships, dating, sex, and love. A collective orgasmic sigh was released across the land. I recently watched the first season again over popcorn and red wine, with many laughs and a couple of tears.

Apart from the cheesy "Carrie talks to the camera" scenes, S&TC: Season One has aged gracefully over the years. I don't know if witnessing people deal with relationships will ever grow old. There is something very comforting in seeing other people become compulsively obsessed with analysing their relationships... it sort of makes me feel, well, less alone.



[experienced] Hot Yoga. I have discovered a holistic workout that actually works for me... cardio, flexibility, and muscle strengthening. There's a great studio down the street where I have been going for the past 6 weeks to stretch myself into different positions and sweat like an Irish man in the outback.

I am trying to resist any references to being labeled a trendy "yuppie", thus shopping sprees at Lululemon will NOT happen. But what can I say? Often things become popular for very good reasons.

GroupThink(ing)

You might not even realize it, but you spend a lot of time working in teams, groups, and organizations. These are all “systems” of people that manage various tasks under common goals and purposes. In fact, you are probably in more groups then you even realize: work, family, sport, hobby, support, study, religious… the list of group types could go on and on. Social systems are a crucial and intricate part of daily life, but perhaps under-acknowledged.

Each class that you enter is a group. You and your colleagues have registered for a course, each course has a specific goal (example: to learn about basket-weaving). From there, you might even be separated into subgroups or “task groups” to tackle various projects. We all go through it and we all have group horror stories about members who sabotaged projects with power-hungry tendencies, or worse, with apathy. Often we are left dreading the next group project.

Most employment scenarios involve groups. Whether you’re the “Fry-Guy” at McGreasy’s or the head surgeon in the Emergency Room, whether you are a cog in a multi-national corporation or the leader of a grassroots community organization, chances are most of us end up in work teams, boards, or committees. We are evaluated upon our abilities to be a “team-player”, and success is rewarded to those who embody the group norms and values. Yet often we don’t share the values of our places of employment, and end up counting the days until we can give our two-weeks notice.

Furthermore, our families are groups. Whether you like your relatives or not, they are a group of people working together with a common purpose. What is this purpose? At the core it would be survival (food, shelter, water), but other key pursuits are often present, such as affection, kinship, and, on a rare occasion, intellectual and emotional growth. Yet even if we’ve had our basic needs provided, family gatherings can be disasters waiting to happen.

Sometimes the toughest aspect of groups is the lack of choice. We are often assigned to teams; frequently, group placement is random or simply by registration, leading to groups where members have conflicting goals, interests, or values. Additionally, it becomes frustrating when we are in situations where we are not heard or given space to share thoughts or emotions. It is easy to feel silenced in groups.

Unless we chose a life of solitude, which sometimes has its appeal, it is inevitable that we will be living and working in teams. Yet “group-hate” seems to be extremely real in North American culture. What makes us so distrusting to groups? Why do we find groups to be frustrating or irksome? Are groups simply a “necessary evil”?

Yes, groups are necessary. No, they don’t have to be traumatic or painful.

One solution to “group-hate” is knowledge of self. When in a group, it is important to know what your goals, expectations, and needs are within the group – are these congruent with your group members? Conflict often originates when people have incompatible desires with the interconnected members of the group. Ability to communicate becomes crucial.

Another factor in dealing with “group-hate” lies in educating oneself about the group process. Increasing evidence supports the notion that those who receiving training and learn theories about group development are less likely to experience dreaded “group-hate” syndromes (after taking courses in group-development, I can attest to this). Acquired knowledge means being able to diagnose problems, to intervene when necessary, and ultimately the power to influence what is occurring. Informing oneself is empowering oneself.

So as we hit mid-semester, and projects are in full swing, I hope that you are surviving your group experiences. They can be challenging, but they don’t have to leave scars.

At the risk of doling out unsolicited advice, I will leave you with a quote from psychiatrist and holocaust survivor Victor Frankl – “The last human freedom is to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances”. We may not have chosen the circumstances for our school, family, and work groups, but we can choose our behaviours and attitudes.

Chose wisely.

It's beautiful in the metro

If you are one of the many people that rides public transit, then you might appreciate this post by a fellow blogger...

I don't know about you, but this is a typical metro ride for me.




check out the video...


[props to puck's prattle]

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As you've noticed, I've been experimenting with some changes here at [the little spruce tree]... let me know what you think!