Cognitive Right of Passage

So this morning I had the pleasure of writing a 3-hour statistics exam. That’s right, I had to wake up early on a Saturday morning and spend 3-hours hunched over a calculator resolving the mysteries of probability. Feel my pain. So what was the probability of this actually being a pleasurable experience?

0.5010 (that means 50.1%)

It’s kind of bizarre that I feel so frickin’ amazing right now. I think it has to do with the fact that I don’t have to crunch numbers for a long time, perhaps never again if I play my cards right (probability of never doing statistics again: 90%). However there is a small part of me that will miss statistics.

The good thing about a subject that is math-based is that there is usually a solid answer involved. Often I am wrapped up in the world of social science, where A + B = C or Xxx or Σnough(already) or α(L*ser) or if there has been a history of bad breakups then potentially A + B = FoC - off (where FoC = fear of commitment). There are just no concrete answers when it comes to humans.

With statistics, however, I know for a fact that there are right answers because I manage to get most things wrong. That being said, I am proud that I’ve finished a statistics course. It feels like I have gone through a right of passage and now I am entering the cognitively elite (probability that they will accept me: 0.2%).

Ironically, Mr. Cognitive-right-of-passage (that would be me) was so excited to finish the exam, with mere seconds to spare, that he quickly folded up his papers, skipped joyfully out of the room, and managed to forget to answer the Bonus Question:

Who is the Prime Minister of Canada?

That is a tough one. Well if I take the square-root of stupidity, multiply it by the weasel coefficient, and divide by all the cows in Alberta… wait, this can’t be right. I keep getting x = George Bush. Hmmm…perhaps I’ll have to keep my class notes for next semester.

(probability that I am going to drink beer tonight to celebrate: 100%)