Perspective

From dreams to reality...

Speaking of dreams, I awoke the other day from lovely dreams to this email from my mother.


Hi Love,
I gave blood today and while I was waiting I read a magazine article (I had my glasses with me!!) about hair loss. It suggested seeing a doctor about your thyroid. Because thyroid problems are in the family - grandma and me - it sure wouldn't hurt to have it checked out. There's medication you can take to help with hair loss...
Love you....
MOM xoxoxox

It's great to know that someone is thinking about me (and my receding hairline).

Rampaging Elephants and Epiphanies

I have been thinking more about my dreams lately. The kind I have when I sleep; not to be mistaken with my other dreams (also known as aspirations), like to run off with the circus and finally experience life as a carny. No, I have been thinking about all the crazy movies that play in my head while I am deep in REM sleep.

What if it all means something?

Despite often feeling sleep deprived, most of us will spend about one-third of our lives curled up in our beds. I have begun to ask myself some serious dream-related questions. Why do I often dream of grinding my teeth, and then spiting them out into the sink? Should I be concerned about my dead baby dreams? What was the significance of that rampaging elephant with its head of fire? If this is my subconscious speaking to me, then perhaps I need more help then I thought.

The process of attributing meaning to dreams has been around for thousands of years. In the ancient cultures of Egypt and Greece, for example, dreams were considered prophetic and those with special powers unraveled the messages. Anthropologists will attest to most cultures having some sort of explanation to why we dream.

In current western cultures, dream analysis was made famous by Dr. Sigmund Freud. Everyone’s favourite psychoanalytical zealot took dream analysis to a whole new level with his book “The Interpretation of Dreams”. Freud believed that dreams were the royal road to the unconscious. Ladders, trains, tulips, and even fluffy kittens become symbols of frustrated desires, essentially indicating how badly you need to get laid. Anecdotally, I wonder what old Sigs would have to say about rampaging, flaming elephants.

Since September, I have been taking a six-credit course on Counseling Skills and Theories, which has given me insight into the process of the counseling relationship. The fieldwork for this course is to get counseling; it has been much appreciated as I enjoy the process of self-exploration. In fact, in September, my boyfriend said that I was self-centered. I became slightly confused, I turned and questioned, “You say that like it’s a bad thing?” (And incidentally we are not together anymore). The point is that I am a fan of self-analysis.

But I digress.

Last week in my counseling class, we had dream analyst Layne Dalfen facilitate a workshop on dream analysis. After having studied Freudian, Adlerian, and Gestalt theory, Dalfen has become a bit of a McDreamy celebrity with analytical appearances on various morning TV shows with FOX, NBC, and Global to name a few. She runs a dream interpretation center in Montreal and has penned her own book entitled Dreams Do Come True: Decoding Your Dreams to Discover Your Full Potential. I thought for sure that Dalfen could provide me with all the answers I desired.

But as I sat through the lecture, the light bulbs that I had hoped would go off in my head, sat dormant. “Tell me what it all means!” I wanted to yell, “Spoon feed me my epiphany!” I began to realize that ultimately the only person with the answers would be me. If I wanted to find meaning in my dreams, it would be up to me to place it there. That elephant could mean whatever I wanted it to… I put it there and god dammit I will do with it what I choose!

I think that, in analyzing dreams, there are no wrong answers; it is an individualized process. So I won’t fear becoming a bit self-centered, to think about those messed up dreams and find a bit of meaning within the carnival of REM sleep.

And in reference to Dalfen’s book title, maybe dreams do come true, but thankfully, not all of them. As much as I do enjoy a good rampage, I prefer to keep the flaming elephants in my dreams.

* * *

If you are looking for some dream diagnosis, you can check out Layne Dalfen’s website at: www.dreamsdocometrue.ca. She is available for private consultation.

Sigmund Freud, analyze this...

Dreams, Dreams, Dreams...

Everybody is having them, but why? Are we processing events? Receiving messages from a greater power? Or is our brain just trying to humour us?

However you slice it, dreams are usually pretty interesting. I have been trying to remember mine in order to see what is going on up there... here are the results of some highly scientific research done by the folks at "The Little Spruce Tree".

What Your Dreams Mean...

Your dreams seem to show that you're a very well adjusted and happy little spruce tree. Overall, you are very content in your life. You tend to be a very productive thinker. Your dreams tend to reflect your insecurities. You have a very vivid imagination, a rich creative mind, and strong root development.

What Do Your Dreams Mean?

Urgent Resolutions!

Hello 2007!

But wait… what happened to 1999? If you are anything like me, you are a bit stunned at the rate that we seem to be warping through this decade. It felt like just yesterday that I was hiding in my basement with a year’s supply of bottled water, a wheelbarrow full of tinned beans, and a loaded shotgun, waiting for the world to implode with the turn of the century.

Yet here we are seven years wiser. We now have pocket size polar ice caps, disturbing music coming from Paris (and I’m not talking France), and a measly $379 billion (US) spent on freeing the world of “terrorism”. Thank God for the evolution of time!

As with reflection, January also brings the inevitable question of resolutions. These are the promises we make to ourselves that we will change a habit, somehow improve our behaviour, or implement some sort of lifestyle makeover. We aspire to lose our spare tires, stop chain-smoking, and stick to stringent budgets. We love to make’em and love to break’em.

Not to pooh in your cheerios here, but most people fail miserably at maintaining their New Year’s resolutions. Usually, it’s not because they don’t give their change a valiant effort, but because their environment simply does not support this desired change. It is hard to quit smoking if all your friends are smokers. It is hard to eat healthy when you are living in the nation of Fastfoodistan.

There is no denying it – change is tough.

Many years ago, when I was 8 years old, I resolved to become a child prodigy. When that failed, I resolved to never make another resolution again. Yet not one to recoil when the odds are stacked against him, this year I have decided to break the no-resolution policy and prove that I am capable of changing myself. I am going to look adversity in the eye and say, “I will quit heroin this year!”

But seriously, my resolution is to be a bit more “pro-social”. I often find myself locked up in my own private tower, watching the world go by, but perhaps not fully participating in it. I want to drink more martinis, to explore my flirtatious side, and to open doors for the simple sake of seeing what is on the other side. 2007 will be the year of saying to myself, “Yes!”

Because change requires support, I did a quick Internet search to see what sort of help I could get. What I found was www.goalsguy.com - the brainchild of a Mr. G. R. Blair. I was thoroughly amused by the copious amounts of self-help products that were being marketed to me. With winning titles such as “Create Your Own Big-Bang!” and “Goal Setting for Knuckleheads”, it began to seem like failure was no longer an option; not only could I succeed in my resolution, but I could conquer the world! I couldn’t help but feel a little Gandhi stirring in my gut (or perhaps that was the lentil curry I had for lunch).

According to the omnipotence of Mr. Blair, your ability “to create a sense of urgency will have a far-reaching impact throughout all areas of your life.”

(Insert screeching wheel sound)

So essentially I have to panic to get anything done? This can’t be true. If I am trying to be more “social”, won’t a sense of urgency make me appear desperate? I don’t want to be “that guy”, you know the one who is obviously so indeed of social exchange that he ends up with a twitch and is found dry-humping barstools. Should urgency be my new game plan?

But then again, there is truth to the value of urgency. If we had a dollar for every time we rushed to meet a deadline, the budget to fight “terrorism” would look like the weekly allowance of a toddler. Maybe I need to step it up.

Perhaps a bit of tension would help me, but ultimately I think I am going to play it cool for now and save the urgency strategy for when I am a single, bald alcoholic, and toying with the idea of a mid-life crisis.

But for everyone else, feel free to get “urgent”. If you are one of the many who has resolved to “self improve” this New Year, I’m wishing you all the strength in the world. I hope you are able to create so much urgency that you freak the hell out. Then when you are picking up the pieces of your shattered life, you will glue it back together in a lovelier and shinier version.

Happy 2007!

Season's Greetings!

Hello faithful readers of the "Little Spruce Tree",

I just wanted to wish everyone a happy holiday and prosperous new year... so I made a little holiday card via the wonders of technology.

I am going to be taking a bit of a break, and thus the Little Spruce Tree shall remain dormant for a couple of weeks. I'll be back in the new year with more introspective and humourous ramblings... so stay tuned!

Thanks for making the Little Spruce Tree the most popular blog done by a coniferous, replanted tree.

All the best.

db

The Little Spruce Tree presents...

Deck the halls with consumerism,
‘Tis the season to be excessively wasteful!

And so the song could continue. But I am not here to shit on Christmas (or Hanukkah for that matter) – I actually enjoy the holidays (for the most part). I get to visit my family, see the sparkling lights, and contentedly sip on dark rum and soy-nog while belting out an off-key version of “I Saw Grandpa Kissing Santa Clause”. Oh, the memories.

However, I think it’s time for our holiday celebrations to evolve a bit. So The Little Spruce Tree is going to give you some hip ideas for gifts and traditions that are both environmentally friendly and low cost.

First up, for Christ’s sake (literally), let’s not run out there and chop down another “little spruce tree” to use for a couple of weeks and throw to the curb. How efficient is the use of land to cultivate trees that are used for a month? Instead, what about going to a second hand shop and finding a previously loved artificial tree? And for those who are addicted to the smell of spruce, perhaps you could go to a gardening center and by a potted spruce tree. Keep it around until the spring then ask local officials if you can plant it in a school or park.

Next, let’s think outside the box for gift-giving. Does your mother really need the latest “Il Divo” CD? Would your lover really use another butt-plug? Could your muscle-head brother live without an additional pair of blue-steel spandex shorts? If you’re like me, then some of the greatest gifts that you have given and received weren’t even “things”.

Gifts from the heart are always remembered. Homemade cards are more personal. A batch of cookies or a certificate for a 30-minute massage (that you administer yourself) cost next to nothing. Concert or theatre tickets take up less space in a landfill then the “George Foreman Grill”. A three-month pass to a yoga studio is a gift of health and fitness (but be forewarned: high risk of the “Are you saying I’m fat?” response).

But seriously, what if we were to give “experiences” as opposed to “objects”?

There is more you can do to have yourself a “Merry Little (alternative) Christmas”. Why not bundle your gifts in colourful old newsprint instead of buying glossy wrapping paper? Nothing says “I Love You” like some organic date squares wrapped in the “opinions” section of The Link. How about supporting your local farmers and buying a free-range, hormone-free turkey? And if you are hooked on the idea of a physical gift, there are affordable, sweatshop-free clothes available at "Blank" (www.wearblank.com) on St.Laurent Blvd and lovely smelling, enviro-friendly beauty products at various health food stores across the city. Alternative holiday gifts are the best thing since Rudolph switched to an energy efficient red nose.

But what do you give that person who has everything?

Well how about helping this individual become carbon-neutral. That’s right, there are organizations out there that are trying to off-set our environmental slothfulness through international sustainability projects. A “Clean Air Pass” is one option to neutralize the negative effects of your auto or home. The money goes towards an emission trading system to meet Kyoto protocol, and you get a sticker for your car saying that you are carbon-neutral. Remember, however, this is not a permit to pollute! (www.cleanairpass.com)

Or you could simply express your affection for loved ones by giving in their honour. There are countless community organizations that would be thrilled to receive a holiday donation. Think globally, act locally.



Finally, if you’re like myself and will be jet-setting for the holidays, why not think about neutralizing your emissions? I paid $15.44 to Offsetters (www.offsetters.ca) to be carbon-neutral for my trip to the popular holiday destination of Prince George, BC.



So whether you are homaging Hanukah, cajoling Christ, or celebrating Santa, I hope the holidays bring you time with those that you care for, as well as a bit of rest and recuperation. But before you get all buck-wild with the credit card, remember that there are some options out there to make your holidays low-cost and environmentally friendly.

May your holidays be white (and green)!

World AIDS Day

December 1st is World AIDS Day. So take a moment to tie on a red ribbon and remember the impact that HIV/AIDS is having on your community and your globe.

I thought it would be appropriate to share the video that brought many of us to tears at the Toronto International AIDS Conference this summer. Feel free to read back on some of the reports that I sent out from the conference (August 2006 archives).

Of mice and men...

I don’t eat meat for many reasons; one of them being that I do not enjoy the thought of any animal being subjected to cruel conditions. Yet, I recently psychologically damaged, then mutilated, suffocated, and froze two defenseless creatures until they slowly died from their inflicted torture.

And I swear to god, it was all unintentional.

In late October my apartment was abandoned for two days. Outside the weather was turning chilly, making the living room an attractive living space for a rodent. In this case, it was two field mice looking for a warmer place to past the winter.

When the first mouse scurry across my foot, there was a very specific sensation - it was a raw feeling of being invaded. My primal instincts exploded in a need to guard my territory from vermin invaders. This was after I stopped screaming like a drag queen on a roller coaster, and got down from the chair I had jumped on.

I immediately began to rationalize with myself, “It’s just a little mouse. The poor guy is probably scared shitless”. A day later, I found out he was not scared shitless as I discovered little brown nuggets of “hey jerkwad, I’m eating your food and checking my email while you’re trudging to class” dribbled around my bowl of almonds and peppering my dish-drying rack.

That’s right, Mr. & Mrs. Mouse were munching on my nuts and pooing in my apartment.

And so the war began. At first I had idealized notions of an ethical “catch n’ release” intervention, where the little cheeky bastards could be displaced to a new, happy home deep within Parc Mont-Royal. But sightings began to occur at an alarming frequency; time became of the essence. I became motivated by rodent rage.

I obtained some spring-loaded snap traps, and with utmost delicacy (to avoid losing a finger), I laced them with peanut butter and loaded the hinges. I waited with “baited” breath. A day later, the peanut butter was skillfully snacked without activating the trap.

I shook my fist in the air, “Foiled!”

Upon consultation with my landlord, I was recommended a second type of trap. This time it was a little sticky mat, where the mouse would walk and get stuck in a small pit of goop. “Perfect,” I thought, now I can catch them, gently coax them off the mat, and take them to the mountain where they can spend their lives eating fresh maple leaves, watching hazy sunsets, and laughing at the medieval Sunday swordsmen.

I put the traps out and within ten minutes I had caught two mice.

And this is where it got ugly. I discovered quickly that these great little “sticky mats” were actually vats of extra strength crazy-glue, and coaxing them off turned into a feat of limb-dislocating persecution. The instructions on the box told me to apply a bit of vegetable oil to aid in the processes. I did. It didn’t help. The emotional agony of prying the mice off the cement mats, which I experienced, was minimal compared to the squeaks of suffering expressed by my fellow creatures. A wave of nausea came over me.

After separating the mice from the mats, I placed them in a bucket with a plate on top (to prevent escapes), and put them on my porch; they were jumping around, trying to escape. I saw this as a good sign. I gave myself an hour to recover emotionally and attempt to convince myself that I wasn’t a monster.

But when I returned, I found was two cold, oil-covered, rodent corpses – I had killed them.

Perhaps I should have thought about the cold autumn temperatures, or that the plate was blocking any fresh air into the bucket. Perhaps I could have researched more ethical ways to catch mice. Perhaps I could have borrowed my neighbor’s cat. But, unfortunately, these little gems of wisdom never crossed my mind.

Now, I am not especially proud of my actions. My ideal was simply to catch the mice and release them in a more “mouse-friendly” space, yet what ensued was a mouse holocaust. I guess sometimes the purest of intentions can lead us to unintentional results. But, as the saying goes, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions".

Unfortunately in this case it was paved with intense crazy-glue.





Trust me, there are better options out there...

November 24th - Thou Shall Not Buy

"Buy Nothing Day is an informal day of protest against consumerism observed by social activists. It was founded by Vancouver artist Ted Dave and subsequently promoted by the Canadian Adbusters magazine. Participants refrain from purchasing anything for 24 hours in a concentrated display of consumer power. The event is intended to raise awareness of what some see as the wasteful consumption habits of First World countries. Activists may also participate in culture jamming activities like the Whirl-Mart and other forms of radical expression. It is also used to protest materialism and bandwagon appeals."

-Wikipedia





Click Here to find out more!

The Little Spruce Tree (a column)

Yee-haw! It's official. I am the newest columnist for "The Link", which is the student paper at Concordia University. It is read by at least 13 people worldwide. Next stop, "The Globe and Mail"... eat my dust Leah McLaren!

So here's my first column. It is simply an introduction to how The Little Spruce Tree started to grow. Hope you like it!

* * * *

By Dan Baylis

Welcome to the first entry of The Little Spruce Tree.

Actually, that’s a lie. Ten words into my first column and I’m already lying… shit. The truth is that The Little Spruce Tree originated almost a year ago on a chilly winter’s morning. I had a huge assignment due and I desperately needed something to help me procrastinate...

keep reading...

A day to remember

This week saw some specific events in regards to one of the world's largest conflicts. In a matter of 4 days, one the most famous dictators was sentenced to death, the most powerful nation in the world witnessed its own power shift, and the man who planned the American attack on Iraq was sacked. Some may say that the tide has shifted. Has it?

On the home front, Canada continues to send soldiers to Afghanistan. We hear on a weekly basis of soldiers "fallen" in the line of duty, yet how does this affect us? Personally, I find that my reaction is becoming more and more blasé... and that is somewhat disheartening.

What is your experience? Are you angry, supportive, or apathetic? Are we helping or hindering in Afghanistan?

Please Comment.

Let us pray...

Today is Sunday, also known as "God's Day"... so in honour of a poor evangelical Priest being exposed for drug-fueled sexual exploits with a male sex worker (oh the beautiful irony), I have summoned the help of my good friend J-Chris. It's a sad day when a man of God can't get some crystal meth and a blow job without losing his job.

But fret not dear Mr. Haggard, you will survive...

Hibernation (two)

There is a time for everything to sleep. The trees will shed their leaves, and the sap, which runs through the branches, will be still. The bears will fill their bellies, and then find burrows to sleep the winter through. The ground will freeze, the insects will hide, and the sun will cast long, dreary shadows across snow covered parks. We live in a country with four specific seasons, and the season of sleeping is on its way.

Yet how many of us actually take the winter to hibernate? Are the days of reaping the harvest, and then sitting back for a winter of reading, wood whittling, and knitting all but through? Is it even realistic to think that winters are for resting anymore? Sadly, I think we are losing our slumber season.

What has replaced the once unifying Canadian winter-imposed pause is a year that has less notable differentiation. These days, our Canadian identity is less weather based; perhaps we relate more to each other through our deadlines and commitments. We have got jobs to go to, books to study, children to raise, holiday presents to find, and bodies to keep fit. For many of us, slowing down in the winter is as likely as finding wildflowers in February.


Our increasing culture of “doing” instead of “being” leaves me slightly concerned about the lack of time for resting, reflection, and rejuvenation. Without long periods of quietude or isolation imposed upon us, how many of us will actually go out of our way to create this space? And what is the value of having it? The time to be still, ideally, leads to the opportunity for introspection, and the value of introspection should not be overlooked.

Introspection is a commodity that seems to be in scarce supply these days. If, as a species, we valued the process of contemplation (examining one’s own thoughts, emotions, and actions), I wonder how our current state would be different? Would we be healthier? Would we approach conflict differently? How would we treat our natural surroundings? I hypothesize that a global increase in individual introspection would lead to a decrease in public health pandemics, international conflicts, and earth-threatening environmental issues.

Indeed, it is a big leap from hibernation to world peace. I do realize this. Yet when I take it down a notch, the essence of the logic rings an opus of truth: introspection inevitably leads to improvement. It is incredibly intrinsic. It is incredibly simple.

And even if a period of rest does not lead to existential examination, there are the benefits of recharging energy levels, of having quiet time with loved ones, and of watching snowflakes fall on windowsills. A wise society values introspection and stillness.

So as winter approaches, we will wrap ourselves in thick layers of scarves, toques, and mittens to fight the cold. Jack Frost will tell us to stay inside to rest, and chances are we probably will not listen. But before we battle the blizzards and penetrating cold, perhaps you could take a minute to ask yourself, “How will I create stillness for myself this winter?”

…And alas, you will have already become more introspective.

Hibernation (one)

Real Beauty

This is a short video done by a major beauty corporation. I am not really interested in promoting "DOVE", but I do think the advertising campaign that they have created straddles the line between marketing and social change.
Fascinating.




What is real beauty to you?

Please comment.

A Short history on fire

So there is always news about the craziest developments in technology: we’ve got cell phones with cameras, cameras with computers, and iPods the size of garlic cloves. IPods are actually getting so small that a friend of mine mistakenly ate his iPod as he was shoveling his mouth full of beef stroganoff in the Loyola cafeteria. I kid you not, he was burping Justin Timberlake for days. He brought sexy back… repeatedly.

But seriously, we are a culture that is obsessed with technology. In fact, as I sit here writing this article on my laptop, I am currently chatting on MSN Messenger, talking to my mother on the phone, watching kangaroos breed on the discovery channel, and baking blueberry oatbran muffins in my new laser toaster oven. Thankfully, technology lets me be in seven places at once so that my life can be simpler.

Really, what is hotter than technology these days?

Answer: Fire.

No, literally… fire is pretty hot. And with all this talk of electronic devises and “fuel efficient” cars, I think that we are to quick to forget the importance of this combustion phenomenon. Ever tried to roast a marshmallow without a fire? Hmm… didn’t think so. Ever tried to burn down the Whitehouse without a torch? Bet it was tough. Fire could be the most important discovery to man since oxygen.

Interestingly, a woman named A.Furchin invented the orange stuff by chance back in the year 73 865 BC when she was attempting to destroy her husband’s erotic stone tablets. A spark flew from a piece of flint and burnt down her cave. Furchin went on to be credited for the first loaf of bread and kiln roasted pottery, as well as the catalyst for a movement towards more discreet pornography.

And you thought fire came from dragons! (Ah, the naivety warms my heart.)

As humans began to incorporate fire into their lives, it was primarily used to heat the inside of small dwellings, to flame-broil wooly mammoth steaks, and to send smoke signals to distant clans. Throughout the years the purpose of fire diversified, such as conveniently incinerating witches and helping the romantically retarded to seduce potential lovers via the delicate dim of candlelight. Finally, today we use fire to light bongs, as a symbol that “the tribe has spoken”, and to destroy middle-eastern oil rich countries. Fire has helped us evolve to the highly intellectual race of humans that we are today.

So as we celebrate the latest in gizmos, widgets, and thing-a-ma-bobs, let us remember the spark that created the technological era. It’s the turning of the ignition, it’s everybody’s favourite little combo of heat, oxygen, & fuel, and it’s that little flame burning in your soul. It’s fire… and it’s the coolest technology out there.

* * *

Endnote: You heard it here first… fire is hotter than Kim Jong-Il’s sunglasses this fall! Smoke signals will be the new text-message.

Ode to a special soul...

Queer Issues

This week was the annual "Queer Issue" with the newspaper that I write for (The Link), and like an eager little gay journalist, I submitted two articles... and they were both published!

The first was a collaborative effort with my boyfriend, Tim. It is essentially a discussion that we have frequently had over the labels that we give ourselves. And the second article is an exploration of why it is problematic to equate "Gay" and "AIDS".

Anyway, I hope you take the time to click on the links, read, and let me know what you think!


* * * *

Designer Labels

Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, two-spirited, queer, dyke, byke, fag, twink, gym bunny, leather daddy, lipstick lesbian, tranny, bear, cub, alti-queer, homosexual, heteroflexible--this list could go on. We are a community that is obsessed with not only identity, but labelling our identities. Choosing a label is a personal process, reflects individual values, and can often incorporate a myriad of sub-identities.

Two boys, with similar backgrounds, education, upbringing, and appreciation for everything fabulous, can fundamentally disagree on the labels they prefer. Risking relationship bliss, the boyfriends duke it out to defend the label of their choice...


Continue here: Designer Labels


* * * *


World Without AIDS

This summer I was privileged to attend the International AIDS Conference in Toronto. The conference coincided sadly, yet appropriately, with the 25th anniversary of the start of the pandemic. In terms of a global health pandemic, twenty-five years is a long time. The gravity of this longevity is augmented by the fact that there is no apparent end in sight--millions of human lives have already been lost and many more continue to be lost by a preventable virus.

Coincidentally, I am 25 years old; this means that I have never known a world without AIDS...


Continue here: World Without AIDS

What comes next... you bust a move

Now that winter is on the way, it is inevitable that we head inside a bit more.

And do you know what is indoors? Yup... dance parties.

So if you are feeling the need to spruce up your moves in order to bag that certain hottie that you've had your eye on, then finally, help is here.

Go get'em tigers!